delphinen
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 20, 2007
- Messages
- 991
Excerpts from my log (will explain and continue further)
T+0
Began from a very moody morning.
Did 2.5mg Lorazepam, had a good meal at McDonalds, and
T+20' later did 10mg Memantine with water.
T+40'
Did 20mg more Memantine with Coke, began to feel ... more aggressive?
T+60'
Did 20mg more Memantine with Coke. My mood definitely has improved, my memory seems a little more active/fast/able to think ahead. I'm also more determined and have little patience.
T+120'
Did 10mg more Memantine with Diet Coke.
Music feels incredible, super deep, the bass like it would be reverberating inside my head... too good.
I can also form very weird and abstracts thoughts -in a fast pace too, which is the main reason why I decided to try this drug at this time.
However, I feel my BP slightly fast... I might do 0.50mg Clonidine (half a pill). I might also do 25mg Diphenhydramine to see the effects (I know, it will counter produce if I overdo Clonidine, I WANT that, I don't want to fall asleep, also- already the music feel godlike, I want to know if it can feel even better, but that's not the reason I want to try Diph in reality, will explain later, wish me luck).
T+140'
I know the Clonidine and Diphenhydramine acts fast but... wow. Now I feel euphoric. Truly euphoric. Makes sense too, since 'Memantine acts as an agonist at the dopamine D2 receptor with equal or slightly higher affinity than to the NMDA receptors', quoted from Wikipedia. I like it. But I will enjoy it, but it's not what I'm seeking from this trip. Super interesting to know this is happening/possible in a -so very intense way.
But again, as I will explain later, I want to reorganize, disorganize, and organize again certain thoughts to make way to certain works from this trip -it's not the first time I have done Memantine, I know it tweaks the brain in a very weird way that probably only Eli Lily company high employees might know.
NMDA blockade!
What I wanted to say since I began writing is that I'm taking after posting this a little 10mg Diazepam pill, which is NOTHING for me, but since I had like a grand mal-petit seizure some months ago were I dislocated my right arm- I don't want that to happen again. And I'm a benzo junkie, 10mg Diazepam will NOT affect me (as, 2,5mg Lorazepam might punch a little more).
I forgot to specify I did take both half Clonidine pill and half Diphenhydramine pill with regular Coke. The Diazepam got dissolved under my tongue.
T+180'
I'm feeling too euphoric. Too good, my mood is way up, I'm tweeting smart shit, taking care of my mails... that's ok, but I didn't mean to feel this way- I don't want it to stop because if fabulous, I'm happy, the music sounds incredible, I can easily think about anything in any way, I literally feel like I'm inside my head. This is too cool, I'm going down, doing 10mg Memantine more.
BUT the point of this post was to state that I didn't and still don't intend Memantine to make me have a "euphoric, happy, speedy-weird-like trip", no no.
Oh, I also reached 70mg Memantine in total up to this point.
Taking both the Clonidine and Diphenhydramine was a good move, one lowered a little (it's still high) my BP, and the other made the music sounds even better. It also was a good move to take the little 10mg Diazepam pill- indeed, this was probably the best move of all. It's like if l could feel the heat of my brain working intensely <- this is what I want from the Memantine. And it's fucking working.
T+200'
Feeling the euphoria going away a little. But I still feel perfect. First feeling of dizziness. Going to listen to music on bed a little and start the abstract thinking on time, space, *try* to think about deep thinking too (yeah yeah it's recursive, I know)
T+230'
Oh boy. I went through lots of layers of thinking, luckily for what I wanted, what is about my project, I almost followed the same ideas or concept through the mental trip, but was able to thought about limitless timelines, being very diverse, but at the same time staying ON a layer made of a concept, all these- gave me outstanding ideas about what I was seeking for.
I also got a bit of flashbacks, nature-feel-like, and the usual Ketamine realization (for me at least) "this is how the world works" (and thought and understood about it, I can explain it, but I don't want to, at least right now).
My euphoria is almost gone, but the music still feels amazing, my mood is very good, I feel thirsty and a little hungry, I also was lucky to pee a lot in these last hours (that's the main problem with taking Memantine as "recreational" drug).
Going to take 10mg more Memantine, since ~overall~ (really overall), people have taken around 50~100mg when tripping on Memantine on Erowid experiences.
I feel like I should take also half a Clonidine more because, I DON'T KNOW WHY... OR DO I? it feels like doing some mild opiate (yeah I know about the withdrawal thing, what I meant is, the pleasure given by Clonidine at the moment it's stronger than usual, and the low BP doesn't feel so much honestly)
I also feel the same way about another half Diphenhydramine. Will go make Coffee and probably explain more later.
T+300'
Oh god I'm tripping SO BAD right now, I'm super high, I have extraordinary closed eyes visuals and even some open eyes colour changing ones. I don't know what to do right now, I mean, with this power. I just took a Red Bull because I was feeling sleepy but DAMN I'm so HIGH, I almost can't post right now.
I forgot to said that I DID take the half Clonidine and half Diphenhydramine I said earlier. It's probably the cause I'm sleepy. And maybe alive too.
I keep editing this. NO. I must remember I AM IN CHARGE, I AM IN CONTROL, I'll take a single 2,5mg Lorazepam pill to CONTROL MY TRIP and finish the Red Bull to not fall asleep.
T+325
I having one my greatest trips ever. Visuals. Infinity. Deep thinking, deep learning, closed visuals, open visuals (mostly colours range affected), lovely music, lovely feelings.
It's all so strange. Hope I can make sense of these tomorrow.
T+355'
OK. I am in the thin line of being high and being able to think forward.
What am I gonna do? well.. I already got the brightest ideas I could ask for, for the project I want to code. That worked so well I can't believe it, I'm in love with anything ending in *ine. I just remembered when House was able to deal with his pain with the Ketamine treatment 8)
I guess I could say I already got what I pay for but... I can use this for enjoying (gaming), mind fuck (anime), pleasure (music), and... coding...? mmm... or reading.... mmm...
PS: I keep drinking as much Diet Coke as possible to pee frequently. <- this is important if you ever want to try Memantine. Yes you younger junkie than me, acidify your urine and let it flow.
T+400' (6.66hours)
I'm still undecided on what to do, but at least I'm more calm and grounded without the need of ANY substance (except some Diet Coke).
So I WILL take 10mg more Memantine, and just roll with it until the next iteration of events...
And with this, I just reached 90mg Memantine in total.
T+420'
I have been doing some mail work. I also made some Green + Tilo tea. I put it sugar. Sugar is good for your brain.
I feel good, a little smarter maybe? like, I get any concept waaaay faster than you are supposed to get it? is that even a proper explanation? mmm ...
T+470'
I did half a Clonidine (0.50mg), and half a Diphenhydramine (25mg). I feel much more calmer. The euphoria is gone, I still feel good and my mood is up there. I have not been listening to music, but I just did a test and.. yes, it still sounds wonderful.
I would say this is as far as I wanted to go, and I got what I wanted imprinted in my memory to develop later... but now, if I really think about it, it seems my feelings/body experience will be about "opiate-like Clonidine feelings plus the DPH that potentiates opiates, plus low BP from the Clonidine and high BP from the Memantine equals... average blood pressure?" do you people even understand? well, I do.
T+ 600'
Look, this wasn't supposed to happen. This was my best trip ever- and it's still going, I'm drinking Green + Tilo tea with half Clonidine, half Diphenhydramine, and some Lorazepam now too to at least go to bed soon, even to read. I feel tired now, even if I feel good and the music keeps me going.
It seems there's a legit reason why my favorite drug ever was Ketamine... now I want to research NMDA receptors more than ever!
It took SO MANY FUCKING DRUGS,TRIPS AND PAIN, my fucking god... everybody have the power to resurrect their dead soul. It's a shame humanity haven't taken advantage of this, for the well being of the humanity itself, rather for the benefit of an elite group.
It changes your life. If I don't die in the next days-
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_memantine
substancecode_dissociatives
explevel_experienced
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
exptype_spiritual
exptype_lifechanging
exptype_difficult
roacode_oral
T+0
Began from a very moody morning.
Did 2.5mg Lorazepam, had a good meal at McDonalds, and
T+20' later did 10mg Memantine with water.
T+40'
Did 20mg more Memantine with Coke, began to feel ... more aggressive?
T+60'
Did 20mg more Memantine with Coke. My mood definitely has improved, my memory seems a little more active/fast/able to think ahead. I'm also more determined and have little patience.
T+120'
Did 10mg more Memantine with Diet Coke.
Music feels incredible, super deep, the bass like it would be reverberating inside my head... too good.
I can also form very weird and abstracts thoughts -in a fast pace too, which is the main reason why I decided to try this drug at this time.
However, I feel my BP slightly fast... I might do 0.50mg Clonidine (half a pill). I might also do 25mg Diphenhydramine to see the effects (I know, it will counter produce if I overdo Clonidine, I WANT that, I don't want to fall asleep, also- already the music feel godlike, I want to know if it can feel even better, but that's not the reason I want to try Diph in reality, will explain later, wish me luck).
T+140'
I know the Clonidine and Diphenhydramine acts fast but... wow. Now I feel euphoric. Truly euphoric. Makes sense too, since 'Memantine acts as an agonist at the dopamine D2 receptor with equal or slightly higher affinity than to the NMDA receptors', quoted from Wikipedia. I like it. But I will enjoy it, but it's not what I'm seeking from this trip. Super interesting to know this is happening/possible in a -so very intense way.
But again, as I will explain later, I want to reorganize, disorganize, and organize again certain thoughts to make way to certain works from this trip -it's not the first time I have done Memantine, I know it tweaks the brain in a very weird way that probably only Eli Lily company high employees might know.
NMDA blockade!
What I wanted to say since I began writing is that I'm taking after posting this a little 10mg Diazepam pill, which is NOTHING for me, but since I had like a grand mal-petit seizure some months ago were I dislocated my right arm- I don't want that to happen again. And I'm a benzo junkie, 10mg Diazepam will NOT affect me (as, 2,5mg Lorazepam might punch a little more).
I forgot to specify I did take both half Clonidine pill and half Diphenhydramine pill with regular Coke. The Diazepam got dissolved under my tongue.
T+180'
I'm feeling too euphoric. Too good, my mood is way up, I'm tweeting smart shit, taking care of my mails... that's ok, but I didn't mean to feel this way- I don't want it to stop because if fabulous, I'm happy, the music sounds incredible, I can easily think about anything in any way, I literally feel like I'm inside my head. This is too cool, I'm going down, doing 10mg Memantine more.
BUT the point of this post was to state that I didn't and still don't intend Memantine to make me have a "euphoric, happy, speedy-weird-like trip", no no.
Oh, I also reached 70mg Memantine in total up to this point.
Taking both the Clonidine and Diphenhydramine was a good move, one lowered a little (it's still high) my BP, and the other made the music sounds even better. It also was a good move to take the little 10mg Diazepam pill- indeed, this was probably the best move of all. It's like if l could feel the heat of my brain working intensely <- this is what I want from the Memantine. And it's fucking working.
T+200'
Feeling the euphoria going away a little. But I still feel perfect. First feeling of dizziness. Going to listen to music on bed a little and start the abstract thinking on time, space, *try* to think about deep thinking too (yeah yeah it's recursive, I know)
T+230'
Oh boy. I went through lots of layers of thinking, luckily for what I wanted, what is about my project, I almost followed the same ideas or concept through the mental trip, but was able to thought about limitless timelines, being very diverse, but at the same time staying ON a layer made of a concept, all these- gave me outstanding ideas about what I was seeking for.
I also got a bit of flashbacks, nature-feel-like, and the usual Ketamine realization (for me at least) "this is how the world works" (and thought and understood about it, I can explain it, but I don't want to, at least right now).
My euphoria is almost gone, but the music still feels amazing, my mood is very good, I feel thirsty and a little hungry, I also was lucky to pee a lot in these last hours (that's the main problem with taking Memantine as "recreational" drug).
Going to take 10mg more Memantine, since ~overall~ (really overall), people have taken around 50~100mg when tripping on Memantine on Erowid experiences.
I feel like I should take also half a Clonidine more because, I DON'T KNOW WHY... OR DO I? it feels like doing some mild opiate (yeah I know about the withdrawal thing, what I meant is, the pleasure given by Clonidine at the moment it's stronger than usual, and the low BP doesn't feel so much honestly)
I also feel the same way about another half Diphenhydramine. Will go make Coffee and probably explain more later.
T+300'
Oh god I'm tripping SO BAD right now, I'm super high, I have extraordinary closed eyes visuals and even some open eyes colour changing ones. I don't know what to do right now, I mean, with this power. I just took a Red Bull because I was feeling sleepy but DAMN I'm so HIGH, I almost can't post right now.
I forgot to said that I DID take the half Clonidine and half Diphenhydramine I said earlier. It's probably the cause I'm sleepy. And maybe alive too.
I keep editing this. NO. I must remember I AM IN CHARGE, I AM IN CONTROL, I'll take a single 2,5mg Lorazepam pill to CONTROL MY TRIP and finish the Red Bull to not fall asleep.
T+325
I having one my greatest trips ever. Visuals. Infinity. Deep thinking, deep learning, closed visuals, open visuals (mostly colours range affected), lovely music, lovely feelings.
It's all so strange. Hope I can make sense of these tomorrow.
T+355'
OK. I am in the thin line of being high and being able to think forward.
What am I gonna do? well.. I already got the brightest ideas I could ask for, for the project I want to code. That worked so well I can't believe it, I'm in love with anything ending in *ine. I just remembered when House was able to deal with his pain with the Ketamine treatment 8)
I guess I could say I already got what I pay for but... I can use this for enjoying (gaming), mind fuck (anime), pleasure (music), and... coding...? mmm... or reading.... mmm...
PS: I keep drinking as much Diet Coke as possible to pee frequently. <- this is important if you ever want to try Memantine. Yes you younger junkie than me, acidify your urine and let it flow.
T+400' (6.66hours)
I'm still undecided on what to do, but at least I'm more calm and grounded without the need of ANY substance (except some Diet Coke).
So I WILL take 10mg more Memantine, and just roll with it until the next iteration of events...
And with this, I just reached 90mg Memantine in total.
T+420'
I have been doing some mail work. I also made some Green + Tilo tea. I put it sugar. Sugar is good for your brain.
I feel good, a little smarter maybe? like, I get any concept waaaay faster than you are supposed to get it? is that even a proper explanation? mmm ...
T+470'
I did half a Clonidine (0.50mg), and half a Diphenhydramine (25mg). I feel much more calmer. The euphoria is gone, I still feel good and my mood is up there. I have not been listening to music, but I just did a test and.. yes, it still sounds wonderful.
I would say this is as far as I wanted to go, and I got what I wanted imprinted in my memory to develop later... but now, if I really think about it, it seems my feelings/body experience will be about "opiate-like Clonidine feelings plus the DPH that potentiates opiates, plus low BP from the Clonidine and high BP from the Memantine equals... average blood pressure?" do you people even understand? well, I do.
T+ 600'
Look, this wasn't supposed to happen. This was my best trip ever- and it's still going, I'm drinking Green + Tilo tea with half Clonidine, half Diphenhydramine, and some Lorazepam now too to at least go to bed soon, even to read. I feel tired now, even if I feel good and the music keeps me going.
It seems there's a legit reason why my favorite drug ever was Ketamine... now I want to research NMDA receptors more than ever!
It took SO MANY FUCKING DRUGS,TRIPS AND PAIN, my fucking god... everybody have the power to resurrect their dead soul. It's a shame humanity haven't taken advantage of this, for the well being of the humanity itself, rather for the benefit of an elite group.
It changes your life. If I don't die in the next days-
printf said:
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_memantine
substancecode_dissociatives
explevel_experienced
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
exptype_spiritual
exptype_lifechanging
exptype_difficult
roacode_oral
Last edited by a moderator:
