How bad was my habit? I never nodded, nor wanted to

[KraziKat]

My roxy blues habit? When I was up to 8 pills a day or so. In the throes of it, it didn't seem that bad. I never wanted to nod. I just liked the energy and euphoria. It was/is like the most perfect antidepressant. I convinced myself it wasn't even bad for, my $200 a day habit. Ho-Lee-Fuk. Just typing that makes me shudder.

Never did H. Was offered, considered and said no. Sometimes I think about it now, while trying to get clean. But who am I kidding... we know where I'd end up.

I know there is no conversion from oxy to H, as H isn't pure, but was I that bad? What does it compare to? 95% of me wants to stay clean from opiates... but that 5% keeps fucking with me.

 

[Wileyo86]

Opiates are something else. I remember growing up-and watching guys gone on weed like I watched guys gone on crack. We have all have our vices. Some people can maintain their habit. Some people's habit becomes them. Dealing with opiates all I can say is you have treated a thin line. I know that feeling, the euphoria the confidence but eventually your body wants it when your mind doesn't. What a feeling though

 

[KraziKat]

Almost relapsed today. Glad I didn't, but not really. Going on a long trip tomorrow. Havnt traveled without opiates in forever

 

[Mafioso]

There are a number of different ways of gauging the severity of a substance use disorders. None of them really use the amount taken or whether or not you were nodding. It's more measured by negative consequences resulting from drug use. Nodding may indirectly cause consequences and possibly be a sign of potential for fatal overdose, but isn't really a negative consequence in itself. At least I wouldn't really consider it one.

Did you lose friends because of use? Did you ruin relationships because of use? Estranged family because of use? Did you shape your circle based on drug use? Did you spend a lot of time and money on your habit and getting high? Did you lose jobs or wreck cars because you were high? Did you steal to get high? Despite these things, did you keep using? Did you try to quit without success? Did you continually increase amount used?

The problem with consuming a couple hundred mg isn't so much the fact that you are eating/smoking/shooting a lot of money, but more to do with what happens after that. You get high, but at what cost? on top of what you paid the dealer

 

[Lady Codone]

Hey, I never nodded on opiates but used them in some form daily for almost 14 years lol.

Oxycodone is one of the more stimulating opies & appeals to people who like the euphoria/energy boost more than the nod (generally speaking) so the fact that you weren't chasing the nod really doesn't mean much. Did you have physical withdrawals when you stopped? Were you able to stop on your own without rehab? Did you have intense cravings for weeks/months after stopping? To me, those things are a better indicator of addiction or at least dependence, but that's just my $0.02.

I never vomited or had the dreaded diarrhea even when quitting opiates cold turkey from a high dose (knock on wood), and I never spent money I didn't have on them. I never nodded off, overdosed or went to the hospital as a result of my use. Never even puked from taking too much! My dose stayed the same over those 13 years, which I'm proud of. But I'm under no illusions that I wasn't habituated to them. As much time, energy & thought as I put into acquiring opiates, there's no denying it. And I craved oxycodone for months after switching to kratom. Hell, I'd take it now if I had it. So yeah...I was self-medicating with opiates. Definitely dependent & maybe addicted. Regardless of what you call it, I don't feel it was a net negative in my life & wouldn't change much if I could. That's what really matters I think--that you don't do things you'll look back on later & regret.

 

[Elmer]

How long were you using this amount for? Also did u have any issues with organs at all?