Boyfriend had to go cold turkey from suboxone and after being away from heroin for 6 years, and he relapsed to heroin after having to immediately break away from suboxone. Anyway, long story short, he's now managed to stay clean from both substances for just over 8 weeks.
His personality has significantly changed. Before making the decision to stick with him through this, I had read these behavioral changes were expected. We've been close friends for over a year, but started dating right before he went off suboxone. The timing was definitely problematic, but because we've had such a strong friendship prior to the relationship, we've decided to stick with each other.
Well... fast forward a couple months to now, and as I understand it (from everything I've tried researching), it seems he's going through PAWS.. possibly at its peak. I've never used or interacted with drugs beyond marijuana/alcohol, so this is entirely new territory to me.
I have close friends with depression, and I've struggled with depression myself, so I've been trying to approach my boyfriend from that angle- that is, the same way I'd approach someone going through depression. My reason for this is because he's really pulled away from me the past month or so. We still see each other about once a week, and he'll send one or two texts a day, and I try to count these blessings.
But then I have my moments where I just get frustrated at being unable to make plans with him or having him ignore me or feeling unseen/unheard/unappreciated. I try to stay mindful of my emotional outbursts, and so far, I have been able to reel them back in and control (and for the most part prevent) them... but I still have my moments. It's really hard to see him go from a lively, sweet, enthusiastic best friend of mine to someone who hardly seems to acknowledge me. I know it's not his fault, and I know this may sound selfish/whiney.
I guess I'm just looking for suggestions to help us through this. How long does this last? What can I do to reduce my own anxieties about him and/or our relationship? How can I best support him while at the same time giving him room to grow as an individual?
When he was in a healthy mindset, I was typically the one who craved alone time and he was usually the one chasing my attention. We had a healthy balance of give and take, and he was one of the few intimate partners I've had who didn't trigger my anxiety. I think that adds to the difficulty of all of this. I'm not used to missing/wanting him like this. I feel so mentally unhealthy some days.
I'm pretty busy with work/school/hobbies, but at the end of the day, I love this man, and I can't pretend it doesn't eat away at me, and if I'm being honest, it does impact work/school/hobbies on my bad days. I've read PAWS is temporary, and it can last anywhere from 3 months-3 years. That's a HUGE range, so any personal experiences and insight would be appreciated.
This post is kind of everywhere... but then again, so is my heart and mind.
Thank you in advance.
His personality has significantly changed. Before making the decision to stick with him through this, I had read these behavioral changes were expected. We've been close friends for over a year, but started dating right before he went off suboxone. The timing was definitely problematic, but because we've had such a strong friendship prior to the relationship, we've decided to stick with each other.
Well... fast forward a couple months to now, and as I understand it (from everything I've tried researching), it seems he's going through PAWS.. possibly at its peak. I've never used or interacted with drugs beyond marijuana/alcohol, so this is entirely new territory to me.
I have close friends with depression, and I've struggled with depression myself, so I've been trying to approach my boyfriend from that angle- that is, the same way I'd approach someone going through depression. My reason for this is because he's really pulled away from me the past month or so. We still see each other about once a week, and he'll send one or two texts a day, and I try to count these blessings.
But then I have my moments where I just get frustrated at being unable to make plans with him or having him ignore me or feeling unseen/unheard/unappreciated. I try to stay mindful of my emotional outbursts, and so far, I have been able to reel them back in and control (and for the most part prevent) them... but I still have my moments. It's really hard to see him go from a lively, sweet, enthusiastic best friend of mine to someone who hardly seems to acknowledge me. I know it's not his fault, and I know this may sound selfish/whiney.
I guess I'm just looking for suggestions to help us through this. How long does this last? What can I do to reduce my own anxieties about him and/or our relationship? How can I best support him while at the same time giving him room to grow as an individual?
When he was in a healthy mindset, I was typically the one who craved alone time and he was usually the one chasing my attention. We had a healthy balance of give and take, and he was one of the few intimate partners I've had who didn't trigger my anxiety. I think that adds to the difficulty of all of this. I'm not used to missing/wanting him like this. I feel so mentally unhealthy some days.
I'm pretty busy with work/school/hobbies, but at the end of the day, I love this man, and I can't pretend it doesn't eat away at me, and if I'm being honest, it does impact work/school/hobbies on my bad days. I've read PAWS is temporary, and it can last anywhere from 3 months-3 years. That's a HUGE range, so any personal experiences and insight would be appreciated.
This post is kind of everywhere... but then again, so is my heart and mind.
Thank you in advance.