• H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist | cdin | Lil'LinaptkSix

March Getting/Staying Clean/Sober Thread

On bupe but been clean from my DOC for almost 2 weeks (6 weeks if you discount my relapse) and haven't smoked cigs in a few weeks either. Still drinking but never was dependent on it, so overall feeling good. Hope you all are having a good March so far!

Congrats!

The cigs will kill you. Glad to hear you haven’t had one in a while.
 
On bupe but been clean from my DOC for almost 2 weeks (6 weeks if you discount my relapse) and haven't smoked cigs in a few weeks either. Still drinking but never was dependent on it, so overall feeling good. Hope you all are having a good March so far!

Congrats!!! I am loving March so far.
 
CPR training at the job today, get paid for the 4hour and free lunch. Plus it will look good on my resume if I look into getting another job else where in the recovery field.
 
That's awesome D.
I had cpr/first aid at some random factory job I had years ago.
It looks good for all sorts of jobs, not just in the recovery field.
Enjoy!
 
I didn't drink a drop of alcohol last night. And today, after two weeks of daily use, I have not ingested any sub film. This is an accomplishment.

Down with disease
Three weeks in my bed
Trying to stop these demons that keep dancing in my head
Down with disease
Up before the dawn
A thousand barefoot children outside dancing on my lawn, and I keep
Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful but now I'm on my way
 
CPR training at the job today, get paid for the 4hour and free lunch. Plus it will look good on my resume if I look into getting another job else where in the recovery field.

You can also be a lifeguard.

Bay watch style.
 
I had a long talk with my NA sponsor last night. I told him I've been experiencing a lot of anxiety when thinking about the future. One of my reservations about using drugs was getting done with probation and required group therapy that I attend weekly. When I first got on probation and started the group, my idea was that I'd just get through this and then go back to getting high. For about three years, I tried to hide my drug use, lying to everyone around me, tricking the UA test, etc. It wasn't until I got a DUI in late 2016 that I realized this way wasn't working anymore.

I'm on the other side of things now, clean for a considerable amount of time, active member of NA, and nearing the end of my probation term, and I'm scared of what's to come. I never thought I'd be in recovery at this point, and I didn't imagine I'd have to build a greater life than what I'd had before. My beliefs and values have changed a lot already, yet there's still some echoes of that original plan and the beliefs surrounding it that I think may be holding me back a bit. I've been struggling recently with depression, anxiety, loneliness, inadequacy and shame, and trying to escape with caffeine, nicotine, porn, exercise, relationships, and any other way I know how.

Through talking with my sponsor and some other people, I think I've figured out that fear and uncertainty about what's to come is controlling me. I feel "good enough" now, comfortable in what I'm doing, but growth and progress means looking for something even better, and I've never been at a point where I could take a serious look at some of my goals like getting a better job/pursuing a career, moving to a better apartment, becoming (more) involved in extracurricular activities, spending time on hobbies, etc. I know some of those things don't ultimately matter, yet they are my goals nonetheless...and I've never been a goal-oriented person. The script has flipped and I'm scared but also excited about what's coming. I'm reminded a lot of the lyric in this song, "Like if freedom means doing what I want/Well, don’t I gotta want something?"

 
thinking and planning about the future can be really anxiety provoking. I can relate.

Some days I just choose not to do serious planning/thinking if I'm already in a bad mood.

having people to talk things over with when you feel comfortable and ready to can really help.
 
Went for a hike today for the first time in months. Was nice to be out in nature again.

w05pic.jpg
 
^sweet! My daughter and I just went for a bike ride, definitely good to be outdoors.
 
Yeah it's been to cold to go for a proper hike lately, today was warm. This is literally 15 mins from where I grew up, so like 1.5 hours from where I live now, but worth the ride.

That creek runs into a giant lake.

309qzo4.jpg
 
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