• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: axe battler | xtcgrrrl | arrall

How to be more likeable and make friends

I've known some folks in my time & come across some groups shall we say & I'd really like to hear what makes you so "right wing, conservative" trust me you really won't upset me with your views.

When I say I am right wing, conservative it means:

I beleive in God (most people I know, including myself until now are Athiest),
I beleive in marriage between man and wife (but I am . not homophobic, I respect everyones right to freedom of expression)
I don't beleive in socialised medicine and the NHS (even though I am a heathcare professional),
I think we are overtaxed, and our welfare state is too big with the middle class basically supporting everyone.
I think the UK has too much immigration, it should be more controlled (even though I am of South Asian decent).
I voted for the UK to leave the EU

And this seems to be so at odds with the person I used to be, so a lot of my old friends have distances themselves, and well at work everyone or rather most people are liberal, Guardian reading buggers! I personally don't mind having opposing views as long as it promotes dicussion and gentle ribbing. But I have really dialed it down and just dont talk about politics nor religion to anyone.
 
I think it's important to remember that its healthy to somewhat regulate your political views in certain environments, and not in some kind of censorship of self kind of way i.e you can still be you, you just don't necessarily need to shout it from the rooftops. In certain environments, especially a working environment, you could find yourself disagreeing with pretty much everything anybody says, especially if you feel marginalised or righteous, and this can manifest as overt offensiveness/agitation/aggressiveness, whilst everyone else is thinking '... whatever', or "jesus, here we go again".

I can by nature be a very disagreeing & contrarian person, and find it quite easy to contradict people/argue a point, but I often let things slide by. Why? Because if you contradict/disagree with people on everything they say, people will just become defensive and think you're a dick, and rightly so. There is no one unique political view, and it's important to remember that not only are their shades of grey, but two people can actually both be right with opposing view points.

I often find it's important to adopt that laid back attitude I was referring to earlier and be the one to just laugh and literally say "whatever", and just let stuff slide. There's nothing worse than people disagreeing with you at every opportunity (I know one too many people like this), or adopting a consistent tone of disapproval. I've met loads of right wing conservatives who I've got along with just fine, because we both realise the futility of changing the others view, and find the other qualities/attributes far more important/pleasing.

Anyway, political views are often just other peoples opinions adopted over the years and reinforced by self-imposed cognitive bias. It's just cultural baggage and I wouldn't waste too much time identifying with it all too much; we're our own personal echo chambers. And certainly not at the detriment of the social dynamics/relationships you have to navigate every single day as a person.

I saw this recommended by firefox earlier which might be interesting, How Do You Make or Maintain Friends? Put in the Time

Also, this is a very interesting article about how the word 'but' can make people sound incredibly negative. It's got very interesting implications.

P.s mindfulness/meditation is great for this kind of stuff. It's important to remember that you are in control of your mind.

Thank you for this advice, its really good to have someone outside looking into things like this; perhaps I am more contrary than I thought and have already taken steps to dial it down.
 
as for that but thing^

I hardly ever use that word

one thing I definitely noticed though is that some people respond to everything you say with "no, blah blah blah..."

saying no a lot is actually really fucking annoying

contrarian attitudes put people off
 
Sometimes I feel like I am in the same boat. I don't do much anymore other then work. When I get off work it's 8am, and am usually tired when I get home and go to sleep, and wake up in time for a shower and ready for work.
 
Sometimes I feel like I am in the same boat. I don't do much anymore other then work. When I get off work it's 8am, and am usually tired when I get home and go to sleep, and wake up in time for a shower and ready for work.

night shifts = no life

honestly get a day job

best thing i ever did

i fucking hate night shifts so much, they make you have no free time to interact with others that overlaps with them and they make you feel depressed
 
When I say I am right wing, conservative it means:

I beleive in God (most people I know, including myself until now are Athiest),
I beleive in marriage between man and wife (but I am . not homophobic, I respect everyones right to freedom of expression)
I don't beleive in socialised medicine and the NHS (even though I am a heathcare professional),
I think we are overtaxed, and our welfare state is too big with the middle class basically supporting everyone.
I think the UK has too much immigration, it should be more controlled (even though I am of South Asian decent).
I voted for the UK to leave the EU

And this seems to be so at odds with the person I used to be, so a lot of my old friends have distances themselves, and well at work everyone or rather most people are liberal, Guardian reading buggers! I personally don't mind having opposing views as long as it promotes dicussion and gentle ribbing. But I have really dialed it down and just dont talk about politics nor religion to anyone.

Hmmm.. maybe work on not talking about those topics. Best way to make friends? Ask questions. :)
 
night shifts = no life

honestly get a day job

best thing i ever did

i fucking hate night shifts so much, they make you have no free time to interact with others that overlaps with them and they make you feel depressed

Night shift made me feel really depressed (and weird), as well. I couldn't it. Thankfully people at work were so greedy they practically fought over doing my share.

EP158207 - would it not perhaps help you to be working in private healthcare? Surely more people who at least agree regarding the healthcare system.

as for that but thing^

I hardly ever use that word

one thing I definitely noticed though is that some people respond to everything you say with "no, blah blah blah..."

saying no a lot is actually really fucking annoying

contrarian attitudes put people off

My dad has a very negative attitude which is really uncomfortable and, well, negative, for me to witness. A lot of his conversation openers will be how wrong everything is, or how bad he feels, or how bad something was that happened to him, etc. A lot of self pity, moaning and complaining. It's very taxing behaviour, to the point that I don't really like him. Its very easy to observe him and see how a lot of words people use inherinetly paint them as negative.
 
Top