Long term recovery searching for advise and support

[Krisp10]

Long term recovery searching for advise and support desperate for help

I will try to make this as short as I can, I was having a very difficult time in my relationship and with my life it was highly stressed and had a lot of mental health issues I had already been a regular MDMA user but had taking a break for almost a year, we went to a show and we did not measure out our MDMA, it happened tested multiple times it was very pure But we had it in a small baggie, throughout the night I had poured some of my hands and taken some about six times within a six hour period we think I could have taken anywhere from .5- a gram, which is highly unlike me, but I didn?t care at the time, I had a fun night and a usual hangover the next day, we went home from our trip, I had put on our virtual reality headset to play a game for a few minutes and when I took it off I was 100% depersonalized, I went to the hospital but did not want to voluntarily admit myself to the psych ward, so they gave me Xanax and sent me home, for about two weeks I got myself out of the depersonalization, But I still felt kind of weird so I stopped taking the BuSpar that I was put on for my anxiety, I had no withdrawals from that and was fine but I had lingering depression and ocd, then I was put on Lexapro and took that for about three weeks, it was not helping me whatsoever if anything it was making me worse, right now my pupils are constantly small, my vision feels very dreamy and almost blurry, and I am on able to feel any happiness or good feelings whatsoever for multiple weeks now, I started taking 5HTP three days ago I have still not felt any help from that yet.. I am so afraid Im going to lose my relationship because Im constantly crying, depressed, and full of anxiety and cant enjoy anything I once used to, since I rolled it has been almost exactly 2 months I have been eating healthy I have been sleeping ok and I try to do yoga the best I can, I?m so afraid I?m going to be feeling like this for a long time I don?t know what else to do to try to get myself back to normal, any advice or kind words of support would be greatly appreciated, I know eventually I will feel better but I cant be like this for years. Thank you guys. Yes I know how much of an idiot I am :/ every day that goes by feels like a month and im just so exhausted and tired of this, It feels as if its never going to go away sorry for all of the spelling errors I dont know why thats happening, I tried to edit it but it wont work.

 

[db1995]

exercising, meditating, eating a healthy diet, taking supplements, and avoiding drugs and alcohol are all the things you really can do without meds. I personally choose to avoid meds or any sort of "anti depressant" medication other than xanax.

I am almost on month 9 and I did almost 2 grams in three days, and I'm just about fully recovered for the most part but do still experience mild depression problems (poor concentration and memory). I'm sure you will recover faster than me. Cheers.

 

[Krisp10]

Thank you for your reply, i?ve been meditating every day the best I can, I tend to get anxiety while trying to do it, then it subsides until I come back from it, also I get terrible anxiety when trying to sleep :/ im glad to hear that you are recovering before a years time 9 months is still a long time but much better than a few years. Im having such a hard time because theres so much I need to be doing in my career and with my life, I guess I should of thought of that first .