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5 Years Clean from Meth

S

stilesface

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 7, 2013
Messages
33
I have been clean for just over five years now and was inspired to come and check in. I haven't posted here for over four years, but looking through these posts was really important to me while I was struggling to get clean. I will be graduating with a BA in Psychology next Spring and am looking to attend PhD programs. I have gotten married and had a baby girl. I have moved and started this whole beautiful life where I get to be politically active and I get to study things I am passionate about. My using life still haunts me when I close my eyes. Embarrassment over the things I did, horror over the chaos I put my (then) toddler son through (he is now an amazing 4th grader who is fully adjusted). I sometimes feel that there is another life just outside of mine. My husband knows everything, of course. I was inspired, however, to come here today because I am giving a presentation in one of my classes this week on the long term impact that methamphetamine has on the degeneration of dopamine neurotransmitters and how those symptoms mimic the damage of Parkinson's disease. I was thinking how full circle I have come from being this desperate meth user on the verge of homelessness, to struggling in recovery, to whatever this is and all the steps in between. And I thought of all the awesome people I met here five years ago and wanted to stop by and just drop a line.
 
I am so happy for you <3. My daughter was/is struggling w meth addiction.

It caused her to have what may possibly be NMO - Neuromyelitis Optica. A condition that can cause paralysis and blindness. She was haspitalized for a month.

She is currently recovering. She started physical therapy. This has been a deeply painful and terrifying experience. Its still too difficult for me to speak about.

Your post brought tears to my eyes. I truly am so happy that you have come full circle and have turned things around. Well done. <3
 
Congrats man, I'd be interested in hearing some of your research. I was a heavy meth user, and have a family history of Parkinson's, doc's think I'm showing signs of early onset.
 
woot for you. keep it up. sobriety's worth it.

i haven't done meth in a year. i like reading the success stories on this website. it helps a lot.
 
Women do recover! Did you do it with a 12-step fellowship, Jesus, friends, or grim and obstinate willfullness come hell or high water? I think sharing a bit about how you did it would be very valuable to members here.
 
jdfisse said:
Women do recover! Did you do it with a 12-step fellowship, Jesus, friends, or grim and obstinate willfullness come hell or high water? I think sharing a bit about how you did it would be very valuable to members here.
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I got clean with a heavy dose of Slavic stubbornness, geographic relocation, ditching my ex and luck. I am an atheist and I tried NA but it didn't click with me. I was very fortunate that I stayed employed during most of my use, especially the worst part. I don't know how I did it because I was getting high at work and doing all manner of shady things. My place of work was being sold and instead of working for the new owners and staying in San Diego where I was surrounded by use, I negotiated a severance which gave me unemployment and sold or packed everything and moved several hours away. I had my ex's prescription for klonopin and trazadone and used those to knock myself out as much as possible. My son was barely 5 years old at the time and I was a single mom and there was a lot of motivation in the thought of losing my son or having him grow up around the types of people that were around. with no real family around and then after the meth I had to get off of the benzos which was really fucking hard and then the whiskey and now I smoke a bowl every so often, but not much and have wine here and there but am otherwise a boring and upstanding citizen.
 
10YearsGone said:
I am so happy for you <3. My daughter was/is struggling w meth addiction.

It caused her to have what may possibly be NMO - Neuromyelitis Optica. A condition that can cause paralysis and blindness. She was haspitalized for a month.

She is currently recovering. She started physical therapy. This has been a deeply painful and terrifying experience. Its still too difficult for me to speak about.

Your post brought tears to my eyes. I truly am so happy that you have come full circle and have turned things around. Well done. <3
Click to expand...

Just sending peace your way. One thing that made me susceptible to drug use and other self medication was my mom's death and your daughter is lucky to have you. I wish I had more words of inspiration. But it can absolutely get better, that much I do know.
 
bptubbs said:
Congrats man, I'd be interested in hearing some of your research. I was a heavy meth user, and have a family history of Parkinson's, doc's think I'm showing signs of early onset.
Click to expand...

In short, and keep in mind this is not my area of expertise and the study was done on mice, there is a structure located in your basal ganglia called the substantia nigra and it is part of the brain reward system. In Parkinson's there is degeneration of dopaminergic neurons in the midbrain (where the substantia nigra is) and heavy meth use can cause in mice the same dopaminergic degeneration and it looks similar to Parkinsons. Feel free to hit me up with any questions. Here's the study my presentation is one, but the language is really complex: https://www.nature.com/articles/npp2013307
 
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