Flowerpotman
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 2, 2017
- Messages
- 57
Hi all. My drug experience is pretty minor. I don't drink alcohol, dont smoke weed. But throughout my 20's I started getting pains. My mother would let me have the occasional cocodamol (60mg codeine) and I actually used to really enjoy it cautiously. Like I'd put a film on and just sit back as it worked its magic. I'd have like one of those a year lol. I remember one time having one when a friend's dad died and I felt this mad urge to go for a walk. So I went on a 4 mile hike up a mountain one night and photographed the view before heading back down. I dunno if it was the drugs or what but I had never felt so calm and at peace, I remember being sad about my friends dad but also thinking "well he was in so much pain that it must be a relief".
Finally I went to the docs with my pain and wowee I finally had my own prescription of these (to me, at the time) powerful painkillers. Then it all went to shit. I stopped doing a lot of hobbies and I work freelance/self employed so my work also suffered. I was only on them for like 4 months when the doc put me on Tramadol and that *really* fucked with my chemistry. I didn't know what to do. I was crying to my dog and became sad and paranoid all the time. I came off them and had one fucked up fortnight of misery. But all went good again.
Lets skip some time and here I am now after being on Tramadol I went back to codeine phosphate but my tolerance was fucked so I offset it with lots of CWE. I have between 500mg to 1500mg codeine a day now. Thing is I don't even feel it any more. I dunno if it's shitty liver enzymes but all I get is nausea even if I had straight up codeine phosphate pills. There's no high any more.
And here I am. I've noticed my depression getting a lot worse as the codeine usage has gone up. I recognize the pattern. On the days where I think "yeah man lets just have more because it's a saturday and I've got the day to myself"... the next day I get really depressed. I guess I'm wondering if anyone else gets depressed from opiates. I'm thinking the logical answer here is to simply stop codeine and yeah I'm definitely leaning towards tapering it.
It's all such a mess.
Finally I went to the docs with my pain and wowee I finally had my own prescription of these (to me, at the time) powerful painkillers. Then it all went to shit. I stopped doing a lot of hobbies and I work freelance/self employed so my work also suffered. I was only on them for like 4 months when the doc put me on Tramadol and that *really* fucked with my chemistry. I didn't know what to do. I was crying to my dog and became sad and paranoid all the time. I came off them and had one fucked up fortnight of misery. But all went good again.
Lets skip some time and here I am now after being on Tramadol I went back to codeine phosphate but my tolerance was fucked so I offset it with lots of CWE. I have between 500mg to 1500mg codeine a day now. Thing is I don't even feel it any more. I dunno if it's shitty liver enzymes but all I get is nausea even if I had straight up codeine phosphate pills. There's no high any more.
And here I am. I've noticed my depression getting a lot worse as the codeine usage has gone up. I recognize the pattern. On the days where I think "yeah man lets just have more because it's a saturday and I've got the day to myself"... the next day I get really depressed. I guess I'm wondering if anyone else gets depressed from opiates. I'm thinking the logical answer here is to simply stop codeine and yeah I'm definitely leaning towards tapering it.
It's all such a mess.