Benzos Benzo help! Please

[Itslips]

I'll try and be as short as possible as a kid I've always had bad anxiety never to the point of panic attacks. Long story short about 3 years ago a friend introduced me to Xanax bars, for about 2 months I finally found something that was able to make me see life again... so shortly after that and experimenting with cocaine I stopped both. I needed a outlet with my highstress job. After 4 days of not taking any Xanax I found myself on the way to the hospital with what I thought was cocaine overdose.

I only do small amount a few bumps. And it made me happy dealing with my crippling depression. Come to find out it was a panic attack. And that's where it all started. I went on for weeks of hell. Uncontrobale thoughts constant panic attacks crippling me to my room. I couldnt eat. When I tried to sleep I would get labored breathing and battle that all night until it turned into a panic attack. I fessed up to my doctor she put me on ativan over a 3 week period to get me off. I was fine for the tapering. I was fine a month after. And after a month all hell broke loose. I wasn't drinking I wasn't doing any drugs.

I still remeber the event and it makes me terrified I could not of been ant closer to seizing that ride home from work I went 5 hours on what I thought was this panic attack I had to have my dad give me a Xanax to get it to stop. Another few weeks Go by or pure terror I quit my job lost my house lost my car. My doctor sent to a physcatrist who put me on about every ssri ssni and anti depresent all of which made me worse. We then tried mood stabilizing for suspecting of bipolar 2. Still nothing stopped this terror.. until she gave me .5 klonopin twice a day and my life was back. Now skip 2 and a half years later until now. I have never gone up in dose. I have been clean of everything for 3 years now except the klonopin I got my job back I now run my department.

I had some break through anxiety and some odd symptoms that now that I' find myself over analyzing everything it feels like ive been at tollerance withdrawl for the last year but have been dealing with it. So instead of taking my 2nd dose of klonopin I would skip it so I could have a FEW drinks. A few is never more then 2! Like mikes harders or 2 beers knowing I'm on the meds i drank as little as possible. So I recently bought a house a bout 2 weeks ago I have closed yet. So I'm not sure if that's stressing me out. Or leaving my alcoholic father who I find myself bringing to the hospital atleast once a week for falling and smashing his head. As horrible as it sounds it's making me worse hense why I bought the house.

And 2nd I go to Texas in 2 weeks for a week and I just keep picturing coming hone and finding him dead. But let's get back to the drinking so my problems started exactly 9 days ago. I started feeling like when I did when I was off the benzos. The wierd zaps in my head and on the brink of panic attacks one hasn't came through yet. So thinking I developed a cross tollerance I've been 2 weeks sober off alcohol. I don't mess with my life anymore. I just want to be normal again like 3 years. I haven't drank and my symptoms have been slowing creeping back these last few days. Not as bad as 2 weeks ago. But rushing thoughts. Night sweats. Unbearable anxiety and just a overwhelming feeling of dread.

I tend to kick them after about an hr. But everytime I lay down to go to bed my labored breathing comes back and it takes me alot longer to pass out. My doctor sent me to an addiction therapist which is why I stopped drinking she wants to start me on a 8 month taper onto valium. Which at this point if it helps me I'm all for it but I'm worried about what is under the klonopin blanket that I left behind before any of this. I see a physcatrist and a therapist weekly and no-one can answer my questions. Have i built up a tollerance to my meds and me and klonopin have to part ways or am I just so stressed out my heads ready to explode and the meds just can't fight it. I need help. My problem is I over analyze and just like most of you I need to stay off these damn sites because they make me worse. I cannot go awall again I can't loose everything again. Any insight will be great. I want to get my life back. But I don't know what's causing this.

 

[Jekyl Anhydride]

Welcome to BL Itslips,

You might be an individual that has GABAergic drug sensitivities along with some possible anxiety/ panic issues. Some individuals just have a high degree of sensitivity to withdrawal (W/D) from PAM's or positive allosteric modulators that pertain to inhibitory systems like GABA. While some have issues with alcohol, it's far easier to take a little pill that doesn't leave an odor, bloated feeling or extra pounds. So much so that daily use for extended periods can creep up on you untill soon it's been months/ years and physical dependency has developed leaving you with little choice as far as a 'take it or leave it' approach is concerned, hence your current predicament.

With compounded anxiety it's a perfect storm for a very difficult cessation scenario. Now I read in your post that you are down to one Clonazepam per day and some beer? That might cause some inter-dose problems like rebound or slight W/D just before re-dosing. .25 BID is probably a better bet sans alcohol or even .5 at night and .25 in the morning if you're tapering now. Not that 2 beers is going to be overly dangerous in combination, just more difficult to keep steady effect along with it's own rebound and overall "dirty" depressant action vs a benzo.

The idea of Diazepam might be a good idea for the final taper as it has long lasting metabolites, a little weak, but still a long lasting(36-200 hours T1/2) anxiolytic known as nordazepam. The good part about the taper is if you can get some clean time, then the once in a blue moon benzo dose for an anxiety attack might still be feasible and effective at low doses with no tolerance. Then there's also the possibility that the ~Kindling_(sedative hypnotic_withdrawal)~ effect might persist and require something besides pharmacotherapy for your anxiety. The problem is that you won't know for sure untill you can give your brain a chance to return to a baseline state, allowing receptors to up-regulate again. Then you might find more answers than speculating right now. Hope it works out though and Best of Luck.

 

[woj]

Hey bud, sounds like we are in a similar situation.
I'm on 1 mg Kolonopin a day. I will taper off using valium too. I recommend swimming or walking. Any form of light exercise. Healthy eating, fruits veggies. I've got those zaps, the nerves tingling all over my legs face arms. That's why I decided to taper off. I think it would help to lower your sugar intake and caffeine as well.
Something about Kolonopin makes my nerves and everything hyper sensitive to anything. It lets me know I am drinking too much coffee and eating too many sugary foods. Look into a healthy diet. It could help with the zaps.
I've been on Kolonopin for 3 years now. I hate it but it does get me out of a hard jam sometimes. If you can read some funny books, it helps alot. Along with good music, bob dylan for me.
Best wishes bro.

 

[Itslips]

Sorry for the confusion I have not began my taper yet that's why I'm trying to make sure it is infact the benzos causing my issues because all in all they do help alot. But I get over thinking and over analyzing and I can't figure it out anymore

Welcome to BL Itslips,

You might be an individual that has GABAergic drug sensitivities along with some possible anxiety/ panic issues. Some individuals just have a high degree of sensitivity to withdrawal (W/D) from PAM's or positive allosteric modulators that pertain to inhibitory systems like GABA. While some have issues with alcohol, it's far easier to take a little pill that doesn't leave an odor, bloated feeling or extra pounds. So much so that daily use for extended periods can creep up on you untill soon it's been months/ years and physical dependency has developed leaving you with little choice as far as a 'take it or leave it' approach is concerned, hence your current predicament.

With compounded anxiety it's a perfect storm for a very difficult cessation scenario. Now I read in your post that you are down to one Clonazepam per day and some beer? That might cause some inter-dose problems like rebound or slight W/D just before re-dosing. .25 BID is probably a better bet sans alcohol or even .5 at night and .25 in the morning if you're tapering now. Not that 2 beers is going to be overly dangerous in combination, just more difficult to keep steady effect along with it's own rebound and overall "dirty" depressant action vs a benzo.

The idea of Diazepam might be a good idea for the final taper as it has long lasting metabolites, a little weak, but still a long lasting(36-200 hours T1/2) anxiolytic known as nordazepam. The good part about the taper is if you can get some clean time, then the once in a blue moon benzo dose for an anxiety attack might still be feasible and effective at low doses with no tolerance. Then there's also the possibility that the ~Kindling_(sedative hypnotic_withdrawal)~ effect might persist and require something besides pharmacotherapy for your anxiety. The problem is that you won't know for sure untill you can give your brain a chance to return to a baseline state, allowing receptors to up-regulate again. Then you might find more answers than speculating right now. Hope it works out though and Best of Luck.

 

[Itslips]

Ya I have noticed hyper sensitivity I just don't know if I hit tollerance or my anxiety currently is to high for it to handle! I'm all over the place, the normal living on it is fine, but I just want to be back to normal all in all the klonopin does work but I just can't figure it out at this point if it is infact still helping or I'm just off the wall right now stress wise!

 

[Lorne???]

Welcome to BL Itslips,

You might be an individual that has GABAergic drug sensitivities along with some possible anxiety/ panic issues. Some individuals just have a high degree of sensitivity to withdrawal (W/D) from PAM's or positive allosteric modulators that pertain to inhibitory systems like GABA. While some have issues with alcohol, it's far easier to take a little pill that doesn't leave an odor, bloated feeling or extra pounds. So much so that daily use for extended periods can creep up on you untill soon it's been months/ years and physical dependency has developed leaving you with little choice as far as a 'take it or leave it' approach is concerned, hence your current predicament.

With compounded anxiety it's a perfect storm for a very difficult cessation scenario. Now I read in your post that you are down to one Clonazepam per day and some beer? That might cause some inter-dose problems like rebound or slight W/D just before re-dosing. .25 BID is probably a better bet sans alcohol or even .5 at night and .25 in the morning if you're tapering now. Not that 2 beers is going to be overly dangerous in combination, just more difficult to keep steady effect along with it's own rebound and overall "dirty" depressant action vs a benzo.

The idea of Diazepam might be a good idea for the final taper as it has long lasting metabolites, a little weak, but still a long lasting(36-200 hours T1/2) anxiolytic known as nordazepam. The good part about the taper is if you can get some clean time, then the once in a blue moon benzo dose for an anxiety attack might still be feasible and effective at low doses with no tolerance. Then there's also the possibility that the ~Kindling_(sedative hypnotic_withdrawal)~ effect might persist and require something besides pharmacotherapy for your anxiety. The problem is that you won't know for sure untill you can give your brain a chance to return to a baseline state, allowing receptors to up-regulate again. Then you might find more answers than speculating right now. Hope it works out though and Best of Luck.

^ That, except substituting clono for Valium can be difficult until you are at a very low dose, then switching because it wears off a bit faster(sorry Jekly, not enough nordazepam is produced in low doses for it to be relevant, and besides, nordazepam doesn't really last that long anyway-it is still needed up to 4x per day)

Your dose is low, so tolerance is a possi-probability, likely combined with high baseline anxiety

Fewl for you-Clonazepam can be taken once per day, however it would take at least 1mg, and BID dosing is preferable- agree that you should take 0.25-5mg twice per day

Long posts excuse me if missed something (Jekly, you of all people know t1/2 does NOT uration of action, nordazepam is a partial agonist, it takes 15-20mg to equal 0.5mg clonazepam/some sources state 30-40ng, and the t1/2 of sap and clono is about the same, though clono has lower protein binding and VD, while Valium has high lipophhilicity and and a rapid onset, l; it is also typically described as more relaxing, and may be a good alternative nonetheless- though you are attempting to move away from that