Mental Health Social anxiety holding me back again

[nuttynutskin]

I've suffered from social anxiety to some degree my whole life but it's gotten worse. For the most part I've just learned to live it more or less as a misanthropic loner basically. I usually don't mind but lately something's come up. I got back into music (drums/guitar) and started entertaining the idea of putting something together. At first I was just going to try doing a one man project, but then I thought I would put an ad out and see if there was anyone interested in contributing. At the time I believe I was hypomanic or something. I've never been officially diagnosed with bipolar, but I'm pretty sure I am except more on the depressive side usually.

Either way I didn't even really expect any great responses to my ad as the city I live in is pretty dead as far as any type of metal much less black metal. But I did end up getting some responses. I'm not sure how many, but 2 or 3 guitarists that responded seemed like they could be a match. Problem is I don't feel like I did when I posted the ad and actually lost some of my interest in playing music for about half a month. So now I'm in a bit of a conundrum because I have 2 guitarists that are wanting to do something but my social anxiety is making me keep them at bay so to speak. On one hand I think it would be cool, but then I think of the having to meet people that I don't know at all, and all the shit that goes into being in a band or even just doing a project. I don't want to keep anyone in limbo but I don't know what to do. I would be comfortable doing something where I live as I have all of the equipment I need, but I'm not interested in going anywhere else or associating much outside of music and I don't know how into that anyone would be. Anyways anyone have any thoughts or ideas?

 

[BehindtheShadow]

Maybe invite them to you for a jam session it might bring back your passion for a band and ease your anxiety having to meet people.

 

[nuttynutskin]

I talked to 2 of the guitarists today. One's coming over tomorrow and the other one Friday. I decided to try to quit overthinking things for the time being and see what happens.

 

[nuttynutskin]

Haha... Fukker flaked on me. Sure you had a "family emergency" when you were supposedly driving to my place. Just like you contacted me an hour after we were supposed to meet because you supposedly had to work late. If the guitarist Friday doesn't work then I'm just doing this shit on my own. People are fukking stupid and worthless.

 

[CoastTwoCoast]

Haha... Fukker flaked on me. Sure you had a "family emergency" when you were supposedly driving to my place. Just like you contacted me an hour after we were supposed to meet because you supposedly had to work late. If the guitarist Friday doesn't work then I'm just doing this shit on my own. People are fukking stupid and worthless.

People are generally an annoyance, but I'm also trying to do better with tolerating others and conquering anxiety. I can't even say it gets easier, but it's a lot worst when you stop trying altogether.
I see other people act so relaxed and not even bothered by the presence of others. They seem to thrive on the presence of others and always want someone to socialize with in person all day & night. Wtf. For those of us with social anxiety, it's like feeling like an alien struggling to relate to humans.

It's great you pushed past the anxiety and tried to make it happen. Be proud of yourself!