HELP! Will this MDMA induced anxiety ever go away??

[lilylove12749]

Hi, so I took around 1/3 of a gram of MDMA two and a half weeks ago along with 2 other friends. This was the first time I'd ever done this kind of thing and before taking it I was wary and perhaps this is why I got the anxiety.

I'm 20 years old, a female and around 110 lbs.

My friends are both fine and I thought I was fine until the next day when I had a persistent tachycardia of 128 bpm (resting) for two days. I went to the doctor and they ran an ECG test and told me that it was just a mixture of anxiety and the comedown and that it would go away on it's own. This meant that there was nothing wrong with my heart.

Once the heart rate had relaxed to around 90 bpm (resting but still feeling really high to me) I developed a bad tonsillitis infection (probably because my immune system was down). So for this I was prescribed a strong antibiotic. I took the antibiotic as instructed however got these spells of "butterflies" in my stomach types of sensations whenever i was alone or thinking about my heart. I also began to feel like I could hear my heart all the time therefore obsessing that it was too fast.

So for the first week my heart would range between 72-90 bpm (resting) depending on how anxious I was however it started to get better and I began to feel less anxious. Then my mother called me up and suggested that I might have some sort of life threatening heart disease and I was catapulted back into the spiral.

Now I'm off the antibiotic but I have moments when I feel completely fine (weirdly I work in a very crowded club and feel most comfortable when I'm working even though this would be a typical anxiety trigger for most sufferers) but then I also have moments when the butterflies come back at the most random times (sitting alone in the train thinking).

The doctor said that the anxiety should subside in a few weeks, and I do NOT get any panic attacks LUCKILY (it's just this anxiety-like feeling and fast heart rate) but I just need a little reassurance that I will go back to normal.

I'm so scared that I'll have to deal with anxiety for the rest of my life and would really appreciate it if people could share their experiences in helping me break my anxiety loop so I feel okay again!!

Thanks so much.

 

[Mafioso]

Couple questions: how long has it been since you took the MDMA? Was the MDMA tested?

MDMA takes a long time to recover from. It takes a pretty heavy toll on the body and most people say that you shouldn't roll more than once ever 2-4 weeks, and even that is a lot. Of the people that I know, anyone who is taking it even a once or twice a month won't be able to keep up that pace for long. This guy I knew who said he would take 5-10 pills every weekend, sometimes twice a weekend, ended up developing a stutter and quit completely. Another friend who sort of fell down the rave rabbit hole, ended up disappearing completely- pretty sure his wealthy parents forced him to move to another state or something, I forget exactly.

When I was around 21, I was pretty reckless with molly, taking it a parties and with friends like 2-6 times a month. After like a year or so of that, I had a couple super nasty comedowns. A few times I almost fainted, I felt everything fading away and my vision was slowly going black. Laid down and had what I can only describe as "brain zaps". Felt pretty off for a while after that, but over time it comes back.

Really, this is one of the times that "Fake it till you make it" really helps. It's important to keep doing things that you normally would so you don't fall into a depression or isolate yourself. Chances are you won't feel very much like socializing or doing much at all, but if you give into that feeling then it will likely just lead to a cycle of feeling kinda down or shitty. go out and do what makes you feel good, even if you don't feel good. Eventually the good feeling will come back if you keep going. It takes a while for your brain to replenish all the neurotransmitters it used up while on molly/drugs.

Give it time, you will be okay. Worry never solved anything, don't waste your energy freaking out about what may possibly maybe might be wrong. Positive thought can really help with things like this as well.

 

[lilylove12749]

Couple questions: how long has it been since you took the MDMA? Was the MDMA tested?

MDMA takes a long time to recover from. It takes a pretty heavy toll on the body and most people say that you shouldn't roll more than once ever 2-4 weeks, and even that is a lot. Of the people that I know, anyone who is taking it even a once or twice a month won't be able to keep up that pace for long. This guy I knew who said he would take 5-10 pills every weekend, sometimes twice a weekend, ended up developing a stutter and quit completely. Another friend who sort of fell down the rave rabbit hole, ended up disappearing completely- pretty sure his wealthy parents forced him to move to another state or something, I forget exactly.

When I was around 21, I was pretty reckless with molly, taking it a parties and with friends like 2-6 times a month. After like a year or so of that, I had a couple super nasty comedowns. A few times I almost fainted, I felt everything fading away and my vision was slowly going black. Laid down and had what I can only describe as "brain zaps". Felt pretty off for a while after that, but over time it comes back.

Really, this is one of the times that "Fake it till you make it" really helps. It's important to keep doing things that you normally would so you don't fall into a depression or isolate yourself. Chances are you won't feel very much like socializing or doing much at all, but if you give into that feeling then it will likely just lead to a cycle of feeling kinda down or shitty. go out and do what makes you feel good, even if you don't feel good. Eventually the good feeling will come back if you keep going. It takes a while for your brain to replenish all the neurotransmitters it used up while on molly/drugs.

Give it time, you will be okay. Worry never solved anything, don't waste your energy freaking out about what may possibly maybe might be wrong. Positive thought can really help with things like this as well.

It's been two and a half weeks and it wasn't tested but everyone else who took the same thing was fine it was just me that experienced the negative effects. Do you think it will definitely pass? I bought myself a fitbit to keep my heart rate in check which reassures me seeing it's in the normal range. Also do you recommend any serotonin supplements like 5-HTP?

 

[mrmicktwz]

Some people actually do develop a panic disorder from ecstasy use. Myself included , I won't even feel anxious 24/7 but have a fast heart rate all the time still a month and half after use and trips to er. Now yeah it sucks, but you might actually be in the clear if it's just an anxious feeling and not full blown panic attacks. I have had 3/4 every week since I took e last and a constant fast heart rate and am on medication to combat both. This is not uncommon.

 

[lilylove12749]

Some people actually do develop a panic disorder from ecstasy use. Myself included , I won't even feel anxious 24/7 but have a fast heart rate all the time still a month and half after use and trips to er. Now yeah it sucks, but you might actually be in the clear if it's just an anxious feeling and not full blown panic attacks. I have had 3/4 every week since I took e last and a constant fast heart rate and am on medication to combat both. This is not uncommon.

So you think it's likely to go away because I'm not experiencing panic attacks and it isn't stopping me from socialising? I tend to feel better when I'm with people which proves it isn't social anxiety at least. As soon as I'm distracted I almost go back to normal, it's just when I'm thinking about it that I get a pit in my stomach and feel overly conscious of my pulse (when fitbit shows it's well in the normal range)

 

[MrRoot]

Hi!
That pulse issue leads to quite vicious cycle in which you notice your own heartbeat at first and then you get anxious over it which leads your heart rate and blood pressure to go up and that leads you being more anxious.

That has happened with plenty of people trying MDMA and for most people it haven't become long term issue.

You'll get over it quite soon especially as you aren't limiting yourself what you can do.

 

[mrmicktwz]

You've not posted in awhile since you responded to my comments. Hope all is well, I thought very likely you'd be alright. We all just learn from our mistakes