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Fancy a free fiver?

F.U.B.A.R.

Bluelight Crew
Joined
May 12, 2010
Messages
24,631
Just a heads up folks - if some cunt knocks on your door saying they are conducting a national statistics survey for Kantar Media, instead of telling them to fuck off, just indulge them for half an hour or so.

They'll ask you shit loads of questions on your buying habits - in my case it was centered around tobacco, but that's basically because I said I don't buy anything else apart from booze, but that wasn't included in the survey!

Eventually, I was asked if I was willing to take part in a more in depth postal survey for which i would be paid ?5. "Yeh, what the hell", I replied, thinking nothing more of it (I was half pissed at the time).

Anyway, today, a fuckin huge envelope dropped through my letterbox. Inside was a 150 page booklet of survey questions covering fuckin everything. But nestled inside was an envelope containing a fiver cash! This was like winning the lottery to me as I'm fuckin skint at the the moment.

The survey itself looks like a bit of a slog, but I feel it's my duty to honour my end of the bargain as it has enabled me to procure a half bottle of vodka on top of the two measly cans of Karpackie that I was otherwise facing tonight...
 
I went to a university study the other day. It was tasting a new wine not previously available or grown in Australia. It went for 45 min. We got $25 gift card and a bottle of plonk. Now thats my kind of survey. You could drink as much as you want but it was 10:30am and i was driving so i had 1/2 a glass which is all i need to assess a wine..and i spat it out. FUBAR would be dissapointed in me lol
 
I went to a university study the other day. It was tasting a new wine not previously available or grown in Australia. It went for 45 min. We got $25 gift card and a bottle of plonk. Now thats my kind of survey. You could drink as much as you want but it was 10:30am and i was driving so i had 1/2 a glass which is all i need to assess a wine..and i spat it out. FUBAR would be dissapointed in me lol

Disappointed in you? I'm fuckin disgusted man!!
 
Well before the E.U. went tobacco/nicotine mad I got given a John Player 10gram packet of baccy & a rolling machine for taking the time to answer a few questions for them. At the time (well like nearly every day) I was broke & had my eye out for something to make a few quid off to get myself a few items & this came like a gift from the tobacco gods.

I had some survey thing come through a few weeks ago for the DWP over Universal Credit & they rang me up during Judge Rinder ( I mean WTF are they thinking huh?) & I trolled/took the piss with the woman & gave her weird answers to most of the questions. It dawned upon me before it was through they were going to make something from my data/info SO why should I not be paid also?

I raised this point with her on the phone & she gave me some rubbish answer it was to "help" the DWP to redirect their funds in a better way, this was like a red rag to a bull for me & I told her I found her tone to have strange sexual predator overtones & was putting the phone down as my masculinity felt like it was under threat.

I would have loved to have a copy of that call as I know they are all recorded "for training purposes" & all that Jazz. All I wanted was a few free quid :(
 
The trouble is, having taken part in one of these surveys, you will be considered fair game for world+cat to telephone, e-mail or write to you, for the rest of your life. Your contact details will be traded around eternally among "marketing" companies who are not smart enough to realise what they are buying. And if your answers suggested that you might be interested in a new fitted kitchen, then they will sell you as a "sales lead" to kitchen companies ..... And in the process, devaluing genuine sales leads where the person has been contacted and found actually to be wanting a new fitted kitchen (which costs money, but the customers still expect to be able to get it replaced for free if the homeowner doesn't want to buy from them; I wonder if they expect refunds on losing lottery tickets?)

Can't say much more, lest I make it obvious where I'm at or what I'm doing .....
 
The trouble is, having taken part in one of these surveys, you will be considered fair game for world+cat to telephone, e-mail or write to you, for the rest of your life. Your contact details will be traded around eternally among "marketing" companies who are not smart enough to realise what they are buying. And if your answers suggested that you might be interested in a new fitted kitchen, then they will sell you as a "sales lead" to kitchen companies ..... And in the process, devaluing genuine sales leads where the person has been contacted and found actually to be wanting a new fitted kitchen (which costs money, but the customers still expect to be able to get it replaced for free if the homeowner doesn't want to buy from them; I wonder if they expect refunds on losing lottery tickets?)

Can't say much more, lest I make it obvious where I'm at or what I'm doing .....

Usually very true, but this survey gives the option of not giving personal details, so all they've got is my address...
 
As if you ticked the right box. =D

My mates sister got pulled in by the jehovas witness's a good few years back, and has only just escaped that corrupt organisation (thank fucking god). Have you seen the list of things they can't do? They really live their own hell. My mate was saying she went on a date with someone (with a chaperone), and they (the date, not the chaperone) had sex afterwards. They had to stand in front of a comity and both describe in explicit detail what they did, to ensure they did nothing wrong (oral etc).

Anyway, my point is you'll probably be a bit like that now FUBAR, except you'll start pestering us with utility warehouse or something.
 
As if you ticked the right box. =D

My mates sister got pulled in by the jehovas witness's a good few years back, and has only just escaped that corrupt organisation (thank fucking god). Have you seen the list of things they can't do? They really live their own hell. My mate was saying she went on a date with someone (with a chaperone), and they (the date, not the chaperone) had sex afterwards. They had to stand in front of a comity and both describe in explicit detail what they did, to ensure they did nothing wrong (oral etc).

Anyway, my point is you'll probably be a bit like that now FUBAR, except you'll start pestering us with utility warehouse or something.

Are you happy with your current energy supplier..? ;)
 
Fuck the fiver, what do you need to fill in to get a free blowjob?
 
I got a 10 quid Argos voucher through the post last week for having the flu jab at work.

I put it towards a new set of bathroom scales which I've since broke.
 
Coincidence? I think not.

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dogs-shake.com sounds like some sketchy banter as well imo. What the dogs shaking for, fubar?
 
dogs-shake.com sounds like some sketchy banter as well imo. What the dogs shaking for, fubar?

As in the phrase "shaking like a shitting dog"

ie. "Fuck me I was ill last night....when I got home I was shaking like a shitting dog"
 
I had one of those in my junk mail a while back too & meant to post it here - he gets around that Fubar, the auld slapper

I still don't understand, wtf is it? ASOS is an online clothes retailer innit? Where's the 'fun' in that?

Incidentally, there's also some cunt called Fubar on sickipedia. I'm gonna fuckin sue...
 
Well I known for a fact that I'm definitely the original Tranced, everyone knows that, but maybe you're not the original FUBAR?

Or maybe you did just join a cult? FTR ASOS orders is a separate email from the FUBAR one... that you sent. You're in too deep man!
 
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