Good to hear you getting out and about as Well beats staying home getting high.The weather in th UK has been hot here we had a few weeks of non stop sun which is rare.Will start planning trip back to states permantly now.First thing is to get us passport renewed.My family will head back in August while I sort things out here.
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When will I feel normal
- Thread starter yubacity
- Start date
That's really great Yuba!!
Sounds like you have a really good game plan my friend!!! What an exciting change and time for all of you!! Look at you go Yuba, it's beautiful to see.
Enjoy your well deserved time off, be kind and patient with yourself. You're the best and I am so proud of you my dear friend!!!
Hugs,
Ash.
P.S, I hope you have a wonderful day! ; )
Sounds like you have a really good game plan my friend!!! What an exciting change and time for all of you!! Look at you go Yuba, it's beautiful to see.
Enjoy your well deserved time off, be kind and patient with yourself. You're the best and I am so proud of you my dear friend!!!
Hugs,
Ash.
P.S, I hope you have a wonderful day! ; )
Good to hear you getting out and about as Well beats staying home getting high.The weather in th UK has been hot here we had a few weeks of non stop sun which is rare.Will start planning trip back to states permantly now.First thing is to get us passport renewed.My family will head back in August while I sort things out here.
Thanks for your kind words Ashley you have been a massive help.My mind is slowly getting back normal.Im so glad you on this forum without you I would be at home getting high instead of being In a restaurant waiting for food to arrive with family.I feel so good doing normal things out with family mind feels so alert.Years of me using made me numb now I'm actually happy don't get me wrong I get mad cravings but fuck getting on it again.Ashley thanks again where I'm at now is thanks to you I keep saying it but you kept me clean.Its weird how you done it I was ready to accept being a addict.Now I can feel me getting better each day is better then the last.Keep strong ash you have a good heartThat's really great Yuba!!
Sounds like you have a really good game plan my friend!!! What an exciting change and time for all of you!! Look at you go Yuba, it's beautiful to see.
Enjoy your well deserved time off, be kind and patient with yourself. You're the best and I am so proud of you my dear friend!!!
Hugs,
Ash.
P.S, I hope you have a wonderful day! ; )
Damnit man, crying as I read your post to me. ; ) You have done the work, and stayed strong, and you've kept going. You are one amazing guy, I am proud to have someone of your caliber to call my friend.
Never underestimate yourself, you did this, and yeah it was hard, but if you did this, you can do ANYTHING!!!
Happy to cheer you on my dear friend!!!!
Hugs and here for you always,
your friend,
Ash.
P.S, I am glad to hear you and your family are enjoying time together, that makes me very happy!!
I heard this quote once and it pertains to you and everyone with children so I'll share it with you.
"How do children spell L O V E? "
"T I M E."
Never underestimate yourself, you did this, and yeah it was hard, but if you did this, you can do ANYTHING!!!
Happy to cheer you on my dear friend!!!!
Hugs and here for you always,
your friend,
Ash.
P.S, I am glad to hear you and your family are enjoying time together, that makes me very happy!!
I heard this quote once and it pertains to you and everyone with children so I'll share it with you.
"How do children spell L O V E? "
"T I M E."
Thanks for your kind words Ashley you have been a massive help.My mind is slowly getting back normal.Im so glad you on this forum without you I would be at home getting high instead of being In a restaurant waiting for food to arrive with family.I feel so good doing normal things out with family mind feels so alert.Years of me using made me numb now I'm actually happy don't get me wrong I get mad cravings but fuck getting on it again.Ashley thanks again where I'm at now is thanks to you I keep saying it but you kept me clean.Its weird how you done it I was ready to accept being a addict.Now I can feel me getting better each day is better then the last.Keep strong ash you have a good heart
Thanks for your support Ashley you a diamond not only are you battling your demons you are also helping others.Now I'm clean I'm looking at my life I thought by paying bills I was a perfect father and husband.I have realised I was always of my head I was a bad dad and husband.I now realise I am just like my dad but without the beatings.My dad loves me I know but I can't even remember a hug from him.He was a typical Punjabi immigrant father I got no time outs or sent to room I got a beating with fists or belt.I now feel shame the amount of times I nodded out on sofa sometimes with drink in hand that would spill she would wake me up and walk me to bedroom. This a girl from a great family she had to go through that.I cheated on her loads of time now the shame is hitting me.I now realise when people say detox the easy bit it's the recovery that a bitch.Stay well my friend I am here for you enjoy your day.Damnit man, crying as I read your post to me. ; ) You have done the work, and stayed strong, and you've kept going. You are one amazing guy, I am proud to have someone of your caliber to call my friend.
Never underestimate yourself, you did this, and yeah it was hard, but if you did this, you can do ANYTHING!!!
Happy to cheer you on my dear friend!!!!
Hugs and here for you always,
your friend,
Ash.
P.S, I am glad to hear you and your family are enjoying time together, that makes me very happy!!
I heard this quote once and it pertains to you and everyone with children so I'll share it with you.
"How do children spell L O V E? "
"T I M E."
Went to my dealer today to buy some weed.There was a young kid there proberly 20 odd.He was smoking some brown but was sizzling it.I asked him how long he been using he said a week.I had a talk with him telling him to stop now h3 don't know the trouble he be in.After spending 20 odd minutes talking to him his response was can one of us run the brown for him to smoke.Breaks my heart to know that kid is going to be gripped by a drug.
Don't get down on yourself, NO ONE is without faults. Okay, you are and always have been a great provider for your family. That's really great, you're a hard working guy providing for his family, don't minimize that.
Yes, the other things were neglected, nothing you can do abut that, you see how not to be now. That is what is important my friend.
I'm sure too that your dad loves you, but I am happy you can see that's not how YOU want to be. I told you months ago that your children are still young, there is always still time to make positive changes. And yeou're already making them.
Your wife sounds amazing!! She obviously loves you and has stood by you no matter what, not a lot of people are loyal like that. Loyalty is everything. Just focus on being a better husband to her now on. Don't beat yourself up, and never look back. You're doing amazing!!!!
The story about the kid at the dealers makes me sad for him, but also very happy, I can see you are in a good place and have a great heart trying to help him. Everyone is responsible for themselves though, remember that. At least you tried to help him.
Much love and support my dear friend Yuba, keep doing what you're doing!!! I am so proud of you!!
your friend,
Ashley.
Yes, the other things were neglected, nothing you can do abut that, you see how not to be now. That is what is important my friend.
I'm sure too that your dad loves you, but I am happy you can see that's not how YOU want to be. I told you months ago that your children are still young, there is always still time to make positive changes. And yeou're already making them.
Your wife sounds amazing!! She obviously loves you and has stood by you no matter what, not a lot of people are loyal like that. Loyalty is everything. Just focus on being a better husband to her now on. Don't beat yourself up, and never look back. You're doing amazing!!!!
The story about the kid at the dealers makes me sad for him, but also very happy, I can see you are in a good place and have a great heart trying to help him. Everyone is responsible for themselves though, remember that. At least you tried to help him.
Much love and support my dear friend Yuba, keep doing what you're doing!!! I am so proud of you!!
your friend,
Ashley.
Thanks for your support Ashley you a diamond not only are you battling your demons you are also helping others.Now I'm clean I'm looking at my life I thought by paying bills I was a perfect father and husband.I have realised I was always of my head I was a bad dad and husband.I now realise I am just like my dad but without the beatings.My dad loves me I know but I can't even remember a hug from him.He was a typical Punjabi immigrant father I got no time outs or sent to room I got a beating with fists or belt.I now feel shame the amount of times I nodded out on sofa sometimes with drink in hand that would spill she would wake me up and walk me to bedroom. This a girl from a great family she had to go through that.I cheated on her loads of time now the shame is hitting me.I now realise when people say detox the easy bit it's the recovery that a bitch.Stay well my friend I am here for you enjoy your day.
hikfromstik
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2018
- Messages
- 333
That's sad about the kid using H at the dealer. I wish somebody would have had that talk with me . It probably wouldn't have helped, but who knows. Your doing great man . Be strong for your family. Ash is a true jewel , isn't she .
You make so much sense Ashley.I think now I'm clean I realise my mistakes.Like you said I know I can't beat myself over it.How is your recovery going you sound like you doing great keep at it.Had some bad news a friend I had died he took valium and alcohol he did not wake up.He was 25 two boys and wife left behind.He was at a crack housethe fuckers robbed him of his gold chain and rings.He was a great man helped me in my detox.Keep strong Ashley any help you need let me know.Don't get down on yourself, NO ONE is without faults. Okay, you are and always have been a great provider for your family. That's really great, you're a hard working guy providing for his family, don't minimize that.
Yes, the other things were neglected, nothing you can do abut that, you see how not to be now. That is what is important my friend.
I'm sure too that your dad loves you, but I am happy you can see that's not how YOU want to be. I told you months ago that your children are still young, there is always still time to make positive changes. And yeou're already making them.
Your wife sounds amazing!! She obviously loves you and has stood by you no matter what, not a lot of people are loyal like that. Loyalty is everything. Just focus on being a better husband to her now on. Don't beat yourself up, and never look back. You're doing amazing!!!!
The story about the kid at the dealers makes me sad for him, but also very happy, I can see you are in a good place and have a great heart trying to help him. Everyone is responsible for themselves though, remember that. At least you tried to help him.
Much love and support my dear friend Yuba, keep doing what you're doing!!! I am so proud of you!!
your friend,
Ashley.
Thanks mate and you are right ash is a diamond she kept me clean.The young kid smoking brown is really getting me down.He only been using a week he can just stop.I tried talking to him he not interested.We all know the path he on is a bad path if only I could stop him now.That's sad about the kid using H at the dealer. I wish somebody would have had that talk with me . It probably wouldn't have helped, but who knows. Your doing great man . Be strong for your family. Ash is a true jewel , isn't she .
Hi Yuba,
I am a chronic pain/management patient, and I'm still in pain. Lol. But where I am they make you do a lot of very stressful things to even get your medication, so just like Dale/Socal424 I quit CT.
I was honestly sick to death of only using one pharmacy, and always getting rude remarks or dirty looks when I would go to get my rx filled. We also have to be on a random urine test schedule. And don't forget the random pills counts. Lol!!
So, even though I don't have an addiction problem and always took my meds as prescribed, I was so stressed out. And you start feeling like a criminal the way people treat you even when in legitimate pain. It is not nice.
So, that's where my sympathy/empathy comes from.
I have degenerative disc disease, have had a spinal fusion and I have other herniated discs. But my surgeon was conservative and only wanted to fuse 1 level. Sigh.
For now I am just taking tylenol and lying on a heating pad as we speak. I am going to have to figure something better out soon though. This is not fun, Lol!!!
I am terribly sorry for the loss of your friend Yuba, I will say a prayer for his wife and young children and a prayer that he rests easy now. Terrible loss.
Hugs to you my dear friend, Yuba. Keep doing what you're doing, I'm very proud of you!!
Here if you need anything.
I am a chronic pain/management patient, and I'm still in pain. Lol. But where I am they make you do a lot of very stressful things to even get your medication, so just like Dale/Socal424 I quit CT.
I was honestly sick to death of only using one pharmacy, and always getting rude remarks or dirty looks when I would go to get my rx filled. We also have to be on a random urine test schedule. And don't forget the random pills counts. Lol!!
So, even though I don't have an addiction problem and always took my meds as prescribed, I was so stressed out. And you start feeling like a criminal the way people treat you even when in legitimate pain. It is not nice.
So, that's where my sympathy/empathy comes from.
I have degenerative disc disease, have had a spinal fusion and I have other herniated discs. But my surgeon was conservative and only wanted to fuse 1 level. Sigh.
For now I am just taking tylenol and lying on a heating pad as we speak. I am going to have to figure something better out soon though. This is not fun, Lol!!!
I am terribly sorry for the loss of your friend Yuba, I will say a prayer for his wife and young children and a prayer that he rests easy now. Terrible loss.
Hugs to you my dear friend, Yuba. Keep doing what you're doing, I'm very proud of you!!
Here if you need anything.
Ashley how you doing all this advice you given me not heard how your recovery going
Last edited:
I feel for you ash and angry ate the medical establishment take make you feel bad just to get your pain meds.How strong are you to deal with that.I came on here to see how you was and lie to you about me staying clean.Got together with a few people to talk about our friend that died.We were gathered at my dealers then the inevitable helped.First I had some crack which felt great then smoked some brown.Not going to lie it was a great buzz but in the background my guit was not for wife and kids but what I was going to tell you my idea was to lie.Im sorry to let you down Ashley I was so heartbroken plus I had the dread of picking his parents up from the airport.I know I did wrong heartbreak should not have me turn to gear.He was one in a million during my detox he would bring me powder to put in water to hydrate.Then when I not sleep got me lyrica and benzos.The hurt is more be cause he died in a crack house and people robbed him instead of giving him naloxone they rather he died so no come back.Im sorry ash but I will try to forget me using and carry on with recoveryHi Yuba,
I am a chronic pain/management patient, and I'm still in pain. Lol. But where I am they make you do a lot of very stressful things to even get your medication, so just like Dale/Socal424 I quit CT.
I was honestly sick to death of only using one pharmacy, and always getting rude remarks or dirty looks when I would go to get my rx filled. We also have to be on a random urine test schedule. And don't forget the random pills counts. Lol!!
So, even though I don't have an addiction problem and always took my meds as prescribed, I was so stressed out. And you start feeling like a criminal the way people treat you even when in legitimate pain. It is not nice.
So, that's where my sympathy/empathy comes from.
I have degenerative disc disease, have had a spinal fusion and I have other herniated discs. But my surgeon was conservative and only wanted to fuse 1 level. Sigh.
For now I am just taking tylenol and lying on a heating pad as we speak. I am going to have to figure something better out soon though. This is not fun, Lol!!!
I am terribly sorry for the loss of your friend Yuba, I will say a prayer for his wife and young children and a prayer that he rests easy now. Terrible loss.
Hugs to you my dear friend, Yuba. Keep doing what you're doing, I'm very proud of you!!
Here if you need anything.
I don't think they know, Yuba. I hope they don't anyway.
Ash.
Ash.
Just a quick question when my pal did the shot that killed him would he have known he over did it or just gone unconcuss