For Benzodiazepine ab(users), do people notice your under the effect?

[cacachanel]

I'm a really really socially anxious person which I always thought was just a personality trait (I thought I was "introverted" or "shy"), this prevented me from doing basic things like closing my inactive bank account (I was paying their monthly fees because I wasn't able to talk to the manager to close it). I tried many different antidepressants, and I think Pristiq at 100 mg is really helping me with my depression (which is very mild) and self-esteem, but not with my social anxiety. Then I found out that my sleeping pill (ambien), taken during the day, made me able to interact with people like normal people do, I was able to do a lot of things I couldn't before, using ambien. The biggest problem is that it impaired heavily my cognitive function and the duration was really short. My childhood friend (who is a doctor and knew about my problems for a long time) suggested me to switch to Xanax, which he prescribed me. It worked much better, but also had some cognitive impairment that bugged me. Anyway, my life post-xanax is a new one and I'm doing things I never thought I would be able to do before. I talked about it frankly with my psychiatrist and he prescribed me klonopin 2mg a day (which I could split and use anytime I felt I needed). With my tolerance, 2 mg seems to be like the threshold for klonopin to function, yes, it significantly reduces my social anxiety and I'm even able to talk to people, but some symptoms like "being worry free" enough when I need, not overthinking about social situations that happened or that are going to happen, it doesn't work. So I'm abusing it, using 4 mg a day (1 mg 4 times a day). which makes me a very "chilled" person.
I was thinking about: will I be able to hide I'm under the influence of (a high dosage of) Klonopin to my co-workers, do you guys who also abuse benzo think your co-workers notice it?
Thank you (and sorry for my English, I know it sucks, "your" in the title was a typo, the rest is just me being illiterate)!

 

[Lorne???]

No, pretty much you would never guess, unless on something powerful and even then, you can(usually) pull yourself together

Note my doses are higher than yours

You will(almost certainly) become tolerant to those effects, although it may also become less effective therapeutically

and, clonazepam is a long acting benzodiazepine w/ an intermediate (or moderately slow) onset and delayed peak; taking it 4x per day( or QID dosing) is pointless-you are better off dividing it into 2 or 3 doses; 1.5-2mg BID, as needed; or 1.25 twice per day, and 1.5-2mg once, in the morning or evening, whenever your anxiety is worse. Would recommend morning, although a larger dose in the evening means side effects are less of an issue, as it may just help you sleep better

Really, you should try say, 1.25mg TID(3 Times per day) as a start; it should reduce side effects and you won’t notice a quarter mg in either direction; eventually you can try dropping it to 1mg tid, after a couple when Clini has build up and you’ve adjusted, and next step could be 1.5mg bid; Note however that as useful as benzodiazepines can be, they can also become a burden, as tolerance builds, and dose escalation occurs, it can become an addiction and exacerbate your previous problems unless you are downing large doses

Thus is a bit less likely with clonazepam, as it is so long acting, you could take a single dose for one day to prevent wd, and then go back, a very mini tolerance break, to help slow the quite possible problem of tolerance and dependency, not to speak of of what they call “addiction”; of course it is possible you will hit a dose that works and maintains effectiveness, though no guaranteed, unfortunately

It is far better if you find a secondary co-medication, or multiple medications, that work together to help with your problems, assuming they are irratractable, or treatment resistant-certain anti-depressants are go-to’s, though they take time to work- Hydroxyzine is at least worth trying as a PRNco-medication, and can help with sleep also, and some people find benefit from buspar, though that wouldn’t be my first alternative

Gabapentin is something that many people seem to find useful, it is written off-label for anxiety, and would be a viable co-medication to try-point is, y’all to your friend/Dr, and find an alternative to take with your clonazepam, and do NOT TAKE IT 4x PER DAY, IT IS ONE OF THE LONGEST LASTING BENZODIAZEPINES, you are just increasing side effects; literally 1.5-2mg one or twice, with maybe PRN an extra 1mg as needed, would probably work better in the long run. Again, find a secondary medication, and please be careful, Benzodiazepine wd can be lethal, or nonetheless pure suffering. And, consider some form of therapy, if you have access-Luck

 

[cacachanel]

Thank you. I'll suggest changing clonazepam for gabapentin to my psychiatrist (I think he's going to like the idea, as he just prescribes me klonopin because he knows I'm addicted to it) and try to reduce my clonazepam intake.

 

[MrRoot]

If I take a bottle of 100 Klonopin 2mgs during a weekend I won't notice I am fucked as hell but everyone else notices that and I'll end up having long black outs.

 

[Keif' Richards]

The user is typically the one who understands the least how intoxicated they are. Hilarity ensues.

 

[Lorne???]

Not me, although my existence is contigent upon me; a Sgt- said wasn’t making sense in mild-moderate wd, after taking a double dose of medication sage said “You sound better; I was worried, Didn’t know if you were on drugs or if it was epilepsy”-so there is that

 

[Steady Scootin]

The user is typically the one who understands the least how intoxicated they are. Hilarity ensues.

Either hilarity or "Oh fuck, he's actually about to [blank]

 

[Lobsterbutch]

maybe dont ask your doc to "switch" clonazapam for gabapentin, it sounds like you'd need a pretty good taper before even considering that.

And I remember being in the mall after a handful of ativan and adderalls telling all my friends "fuck you guys i didnt take anything im fine, YOU guys are the ones who FUCKED UP"
later I saw a video of it and i was saying this as I was falling asleep down stairs. I had no idea at the time. I thought I was a pretty fucking rad dude