Benzos CT'ed Xanax twice, shit got bad. Reinstated 0.5 mg, did I make the right choice?

[ombass]

Hey, awesome people! %)

Unfortunately, I'm not feeling so awesome right now Had no idea of the addiction potential with Xanax, and never ever thought I was addicted. That being said, I have quit CT multiple times, all with bad results. First time was 2007, and it created a slew of gastrointestinal problems, and what I thought were food allergies. Couldn't eat ANYTHING for a LONG time. Had to avoid: Alcohol, coffee, stimulants of any kind, gluten, dairy, sugar, even fruit. Took me years to recover from this.

FFWD to present day, last year I returned to the dreaded Xanax (0.5 mg per night) for sleep. Took it for maybe 2 months, then quit CT when I went home to visit family. Didn't think I was addicted! Basically had a relapse of 2007, foods/drinks/stimulants were a huge problem again, and I also had fatigue, flu-like symptoms, delirium, chills, etc. Had no idea what was going on, thought I got a bacterial infection in my gut. Grinded it out, pounded a shit ton of probiotics and luckily this time was able to mostly recover in 2-3 months.

Completely unaware that Xanax was behind all this, I returned it once again about 5 months ago. Took it for about 4 months (always only 0.5 mg for sleep), then stopped again right after I ended a stressful relationship. First, symptoms were mainly fatigue. Endless fatigue and lethargy. Then, anxiety, "body buzz," and these horrible electric shock feelings started coming as I was trying to go to sleep. They were so severe, that I felt like i was going to have a stroke / seizure / heart attack. I went to the hospital, they reassured me that my heart was fine. Then, FINALLY I made the connection as to why I was feeling so bad.

I then immediately reinstated to 0.5 mg Xanax, because i basically didn't want to have a seizure. First couple days were great. But then, symptoms started creeping back in. The body buzz came back, the anxiety started amping up, and now, sleeping is VERY rough, like my body/nervous system feels like its on fire sometimes. Caffeine / sugar make this feeling much worse and definitely amp up symptoms. And on top of all this, despite being a life long lover of cannabis, I can no longer smoke it! Just amps up symptoms to the extreme, anxiety, raciness, can't calm down, body buzz / pins/needles feelings in my legs/feet.

At this point, i am wondering if I made the right choice by reinstating to the 0.5 mg. I know the risks of CT now, and the electric shocks / borderline seizures were scaring the crap out of me. So, I figured the safest thing to do would be to reinstate, and then do a slow taper, ala the Ashton Manual. BUT! I am in hell I've got all the symptoms of the CT, except more and worse. Basically, things keep getting WORSE, not better This is very concerning! And on top of all that, I'm looking at months of hell while I taper down off these devil pills.

The peeps at BenzoBuddies have been very supportive, but their horror stories honestly scare me. People have a really hard time, even on the slow tapers. Then, they have problems afterwards as well. They advise a VERY SLOW taper, just like it says in the Ashton Manual. Like, over many months.

Am I fucked here? What should I do? Did I make a big mistake by reinstating? The symptoms I was getting really scared me, otherwise I would not have. But now I am wondering if I made the right choice

Its been 3 weeks since I reinstated. I've been advised to "stabilize" before going down via a slow taper, but my shit is just getting worse, not better. Would I have been better off to just grind out the CT?

Is it possible / advised to do a more "quick taper" ? Like maybe over a month or two? The super slow taper for the next 6+ mo just sounds like extending the agony

Any advice or words from experienced peeps would be very much appreciated! %) THANK YOU!

 

[tacodude]

Yes it was a good idea. Sounds like you were on the verge of a serious seizure and the people at the hospital are idiots for not catching it. You will need to reduce the dose slowly as you try to quit or better yet discuss it with your doctor and maybe go to an in patient unit to be weened off safely.

Brain zaps are those electric shock terms. If you ever feel like that again take your dose, call for an ambulance, and unlock the door while you wait in case a seizure hits. Benzo withdrawals are extremely serious especially in extreme cases.

 

[Jebcity]

I'm gonna disagree with tacodude here. 0.5 is a low dose and 4 months is a while but not a year plus of use. How many days were you able to go before you started these symptoms? Xanax has a short half life so withdrawal symptoms kick in pretty quickly. I think it's unlikely you were heading towards a seizure, it seems like you are having rebound anxiety/rebound insomnia. Combine that with the scary withdrawal symptoms you've read about and you're in the vicious cycle of mental anxiety post benzo use. My advice, go see your doctor. He'll most likely tell you that you are not within the seizure threshold and he'll either have you do a light taper, or tell you that you'll have some rebound anxiety for ~2 weeks. I was convinced I was going to have a seizure until I talked to him. Klonopin, which I was using, has a longer half life and I was taking a much higher dose, 2mg. He really put into perspective what it takes to be at the seizure threshold. Unfortunately there is some misleading info out there about benzo withdrawal. It certainly can be hell for some people, but it's usually reserved for people taking very high doses (3+mg a day) and for 12+ months.

The worst news out of this - you're going to have trouble sleeping for some time. It's been 2 months since I stopped taking klonopins for sleep on weeknights and I still can't get a good nights rest. I either need 2 glasses of wine or a strong dose of some antihistamines. Unfortunately that deep and beautiful rest you get with benzos isn't worth the potentially very dangerous side effects of long term use.

You're lucky .5 worked for 4 months, usually people gradually up their dose over that time. In short go talk to your doctor, he'll most likely talk you off a mental ledge and help work out the best way to help you stop taking the pills.

 

[tacodude]

I wasn't saying whether or not the dose was right, but whether or not the idea to go back into xanax rather then continue to CT was a good idea. Please read my post more clearly next time.

I do agree through it's very possible he is just having panic attack making it worse, but it's better to be safe than sorry.... He shouldn't dose more than what got him into the habit and should reduce slowly. It will be a challenge reducing such small amounts especially since alprazolam isn't water soluble.

 

[Jebcity]

Read your post clearly, just disagreeing with the seizure assessment. Differing opinions.

 

[ombass]

Hey guys,

Thanks for the replies here! Unfortunately my "doctor" is completely useless in this case. She says just up your dose on the Xanax and keep using it, in her words: "it really is the best sleeping pill. Like most idiot Drs who hand these drugs out without any warnings, she has ZERO CLUE as to how horrific the withdrawals can be, as well as how easy it is to become dependent on them. She said either go up in dose, or if you want to get off them, just go down to half a pill, she said: "shouldn't be a problem." Well, guess what? Going down to half a pill was PURE HELL!

To answer your questions, I noticed SEVERE fatigue immediately after quitting CT. Sleeping 12 hours night/zero energy in the day, falling asleep to the point where I suspected I might have narcolepsy. I also had days where I felt like I took too much Xanax the night before, spacey, anxious, disorientated, etc. This continued for two weeks until the ZAPS! And the electric shock feelings started. They really scared me! I was convinced I was going to have a heart attack, stroke or seizure. They were very intense, and they would JOLT! me out of bed, sometimes I was noticing I was shaking a bit. Maybe this wasn't a borderline seizure, but it sure felt serious.

I've never had a seizure before, nor a heart attack or stroke. But I would most definitely like to avoid all three, if at all possible. Maybe these sensations were not the beginning of a seizure, but they felt very bad to me! Definitely the most uncomfortable feeling I've ever felt. Considering the serious nature of benzo withdrawals, I decided the best thing to do at that point was to reinstate, then taper down slowly.

0.5 is indeed a fairly low dose (equivalent to 10mg valium), and 4 months isn't 4 years. But people can have severe problems after quitting from even a month of consistent use. I think in my case I have been kindling repeatedly from quitting CT last year, then also kinda starting/stopping here/there since then, completely unaware I was addicted. Thus the more intense symptoms this time around.

I definitely want off these devil pills ASAP! I guess I just have to do as slow of a taper as possible, but i'll admit to being a bit frustrated as I've only been back ON them for 3 weeks! Now it seems it will take me months to slowly taper down...

Jebcity, can I ask how long you took the Klonopin?

Thanks again for the info and help! %)

 

[Scrofula]

Yes it was a good idea. Sounds like you were on the verge of a serious seizure and the people at the hospital are idiots for not catching it. You will need to reduce the dose slowly as you try to quit or better yet discuss it with your doctor and maybe go to an in patient unit to be weened off safely.

Brain zaps are those electric shock terms. If you ever feel like that again take your dose, call for an ambulance, and unlock the door while you wait in case a seizure hits. Benzo withdrawals are extremely serious especially in extreme cases.

Taco, please.

 

[tacodude]

Whaaat??? It was their description that made it sound extreme... I know his dose wasn't that high and there was so much time in between dose such a server dependency shouldn't have developed, but who knows if they are an extreme outlier. If they felt that bad then no I don't think using the same dose they had been is the worst idea to stabilize before attempting to cold turkey or develop a taper plan. Don't blame me if the OP made it sound worse that it was

 

[Jebcity]

Sure, I took it for sleep a few times a week for about a year. It slowly escalated from only on Sunday, to Sunday and Monday, to Sunday Monday and sometimes another night, to the point where for the last 3 months or so I was taking 2mg every weeknight. To stop I took it as little as possible; I would wait 4 days then when I felt some strong anxiety come on I'd take 1mg, then wait until bad symptoms came on. Eventually I needed it less and less and when I did take it would be .5 mg. This whole process of intermittent dosing took about 6 weeks, but only taking 1 or 2 times a week tops. I had very minimal side effects towards the end. Biggest issue was sleeping and increased anxiety especially during work. Meetings that could tense could be tough, I would have difficulty breathing and would need to step out every now and then. It wasn't fun but it was certainly manageable. Let me know if you have any other questions about my experience. I really think you should find a different doctor, sound medical advice is key. You may even want to find a psychiatrist. Your doc sounds like an idiot if she's telling you to take xanax long term, it's objectively terrible medical advice. Benzos are a bandaid, they don't cure the underlying cause of the issue.

 

[Scrofula]

Guess you're right, next time I have a brain zap I'll call 911.

 

[tacodude]

Scrof don't be a dick... So I overreacted... Better to be safe than sorry right? Better to get checked and it's nothing rather than to assume it's nothing and die of a seizure.

 

[Scrofula]

Mandatory Boilerplate Harm Reduction statement:

You don't feel a seizure coming (except with certain epilepsies). Picture it, epileptics that have had hundreds of seizures, who know they will have many in the future, take meds and have specialists--still use dogs sometimes in hopes of getting a warning of an imminent seizure, because they themselves can't tell.

If you feel shaky or have brain zaps while quitting some drug, you are not about to have a seizure. Shit, I felt pretty good before I had one, managed to sort of shower and went to dinner, thought maybe some broth would go down. Pulled out a chair and [. . . ] swimming through an ambulance dream.

I only emphasize this because people are scared of them, and if they think there's a risk, every little jumpy feeling they get becomes panic fuel. Trust me, whatever it is you feel at the moment, that feeling means you aren't about to have a seizure.

Stims abusers and booze and benzos CT'ers, you are not about to have a seizure. You are shaky cause you're psyching yourself up.

[OK, you may still have a seizure, but not for another day at least, they don't hurt, and you'll never feel them coming.]

 

[Itslips]

Stay off these sights man. You sound just like me. It will pass you created a way for your mind to deal with issues for you and now it's punishing you, I'm going through it now. It will pass and you will be ok. Go TALK to your doctor and do a valium taper. You will be ok. Believe it or not you will feel better throught when you start tapering. I always wondered what the head zaps were. Are those onset seizure symptoms?

 

[Speed King]

Nice story. Please utfse. Learn basic facts about a drug before you use it. Common sense goes a long way.

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