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Mental Health I think I am a slight sociopath. Is that bad?

iwatchgoats

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Feb 1, 2018
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I think I?m a sociopath but only slightly. Is that even possible? I?ve been doing some research and symptoms of sociopathy and I basically line up with almost everything. Here?s a link to the symptoms https://www.healthyplace.com/person...ymptoms-of-a-sociopath-in-men-women-children/ ... but the thing is I only slightly partake and feel these feelings and actions on a lower scale. I have seen it cause trouble in my relationship and not gonna lie over the years I do feel like I?ve become a more ?normal? human being and I can use it for positive but sometimes I can?t help myself to feel and act the way a sociopath would. I know a medical diagnoses is required but from my own research I think I have sociopathic tendencies. Is this bad? It?s very possible I?m not a sociopath but if I am, is that a bad thing? Also side note, I am not a psychopath. They are different.
 
Do you enjoy being the way you are/do you want to be different?

That should help you figure out whether it's 'good' or 'bad'.
 
I saw a shrink for a while and I asked him if I was one as I had drug related social anxiety and had withdrawn from the world.

He said that the fact I asked this meant I was not one. A true sociopath would not think they are and are not able to have any kind of empathy or healthy relationship with anyone. All people exist to be of use or benegit to themselves.

So you wouldnt be one so don't worry about it.
 
My father was diagnosed as anti-social personality disorder, in other words he's a sociopath.
He's a functional human mostly. When he first started developing symptoms he basically ruined what at the time was a happy life, successful business owner, married with kids. I'd love to give you the gory details but this isn't the story of my childhood but he made some poor business decisions and got into debt but went to great lengths to hide it. Lengths such as cutting the phone lines so creditors couldn't call (this was the 80's you could literally cut phone lines), using the same car as collateral on bank loans and personal loans, having my mothers signature forged on mortgages, if there was a lie he could come up with he used it. This didn't end well, bankruptcy, divorce, no friends or family speaking to him, oh and the biggie, felony tax evasion.
He avoided jail time by agreeing to inpatient mental health treatment as he was also suicidal. For the first week or so even the doctors thought he was perfectly fine and just "stressed". Then they realized he was also lying to them. That's when he got the diagnosis. He never received any follow up care after he was released, has never taken meds.
He got his life together and has another successful career and has remarried. Has lots of friends. He's very charming and charismatic which was actually part of his diagnosis, it describes him saying "manipulates with wit and charm". I see it in my relationship with him which is strained. He's estranged from my sister and she quit speaking to him several years ago, it was the second time she cut contact with him. My brothers relationship with him isn't much better than mine. He's either happy with his life or has convinced himself he is to the point he believes it.

In other words being a sociopath has had a very negative impact on him. He lost a business, his family, he had friends who died without ever speaking to him again. However he's high functioning and uses certain sociopath tendencies to his advantage. He can lie better than any politician. Sometimes even I still fall for it. I also think he's capable of deluding himself to the point of ignoring anything negative in his life. He also pretends like he isn't a sociopath. The one time we discussed his inpatient treatment he said he told the doctors what they wanted to hear to stay out of trouble. But I've read the file when I got a copy for my psychiatrist to show the family history of mental illness and he was clearly unstable at the time and very suicidal.
 
I initially favored myself a sociopath since I honestly don't mind treating people badly and expecting good from them. I favored sociopathy because I thought it was a superior mode of being. You couldn't be hurt except physically.

Then I met a sociopath during in patient psychiatric treatment. He had no idea he was doing anything wrong or hurtful. His favorite tag line was, "Only God can judge me." But he made it clear that he thought God judged him well.

He was violent and loud and harassing. I tried to beat him up on two occasions, and he still wanted to make sure that he wasn't the reason I was transferring to a different tank at that in patient facility. Of course, he was.

I met another sociopath. He borrows money and doesn't return it, wakes people up to ask for cigarettes at the homeless shelter, and thinks well of himself for spreading Jesus' message. He threatens people by wearing a gang flag to a gang that doesn't exist, but people still get scared just to see the flag hanging.

If you read the behaviors of a sociopath and they fit you, maybe you are a sociopath. If that understanding of yourself can offer you value, keep it. For example, I remind myself that because I am a sociopath, that I don't react appropriately to other people's conveyances, and therefore I should exaggerate my appreciation for other people to keep it coming.
 
Dude I am a sociopathic, self-destructive piecr of work that has the superpower of the reverse Midas Touch. Everything and everyone, no matter HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM AND CHERISH THEM, I always fuck everyone and everything around me into pieces. Don't know why I do it, don't know if I don't care or care too much.

So go do something else and stop reading this before you also are influenced by my words and go to rehab 11 times and still relapse every time.

I don't know why my love hurts, but it does and always have. I am actually fucking bat shit crazy, off the wall, no tests can actualize what I experience as functional reality but fuck knows where I lost it or did I ever have "it" actually to start of with.

Fuck me fuck this fuck you lets get some Midazolam and 2 bottles of greasy hair shampoo and meet me down at the shed. Bring your uncle but leave his toupee at home. No hair needed for this shit.
 
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