Just another new member

[SanemTraveller]

Hey hey hey (maybe too many hey's) everyone! You can call me Sanem (it may seem like it's my actual first name, but it's not).
I'm a young half-Turkish French girl, with Asperger's syndrome, anxiety and probably dyspraxia as well. I am and have been interested by a lot of things: animal biology, computer science, astronomy/astrophysics, maths, quantum physics, chemistry, history, geography, politics, and more recently nutrition and linguistics. Apart from trying to put scientific knowledge in my brain, I draw random stuff, listen to music (psytrance, drum'n'bass and hard rock are my favorite genres), play the drums, cook and work out. My interests have evolved and changed many times in my life, I usually get super interested on one subject for a few months and then get super interested on another one, but there's one subject in particular that has truly been fascinating me, always, and for quite a long time: neuro/psychopharmacology, or said using shorter and less complicated words, how psychoactive substances affect the human brain and behaviors.
I think we can all agree on the fact that the brain is by far the most intriguing part of our human body. This "machine" which is made of fatty stuff, fueled with glucose, works by sending electric signals and remeasing chemicals, can treat information and create complex behaviors, emotions, images, intelligence and consciousness. That's really amazing when you think about it. And that's why drugs fascinate me: they have the power to interfere with your brain, which is the home for your consciousness. They can change the way you perceive the world, the way you think; they can create new emotions, new sensations, new perceptions, new thoughts; they can change your life in a good or a bad way, make you feel better or worse, ehance or decrease your cognitive capabilities; and they even have a significant influence on society. I have a lot of things to say about this topic, I could make a speech or a novel about it-but hey: what I'm writing right now is above all supposed to be an introduction of me, myself and I, and not of my thoughts.
I'm also very concerned about addiction, primarily because almost everyone in my family is addicted to alcohol and tobacco -I can remember the first time I talked about this with my mother, she told me me not to do the same mistakes as she did, and begged me to find a solution for smokers like her- I've been thinking a lot, making theories about what addiction really is, why and how people get addicted to certain things, how to help addicts etc... I guess I'll probably work in addictology someday. Now, my mother has almost completely quit smoking and drinking, I tried my best to help and understand her and providing her as much information about tobacco's effects on the brain (notice I'm saying tobacco and not nicotine, because tobacco addiction is caused by combination of nicotine and MAOIs). I'm very proud, and I sincerely wish I can help more people in the future.
Okay, now this useless blah blah is over, let's get back to serious things.
I guess most of people reading this right now probably want to know: do I do drugs? Well...Meh. I drink alcohol sometimes, and yeah alcohol is a drug we all know that, but when I say alcohol I mean wine and cider, I drink this stuff because it tastes good and not because I want to get drunk. In my opinion alcohol is not an interesting drug, in the end it does nothing but slowing down the brain (and screwing your kidneys by the way), and to be honest it would be great if I could drink a whole bottle of good old Bordeaux wine without having all the ethanol tickling my GABA receptors. Also, maybe this can be counted as a drug, I drink a lot of tea, and I purposely drink types of tea that are high in caffeine on the morning. But apart from alcohol and caffeine, I don't do drugs...Yet. Don't think I'm one of those delusional pricks who feel morally superior because they're "drug-free". Nope nope nope. I will do drugs one day. I just think that I'm too young and my brain isn't grown enough yet. Also I don't really have time for that, and I don't know anyone who could tripsit me, which is kinda problematic.
And now, you may be asking: what drugs am I planning to try? First, I want to try what fascinates me the most: psychedelics. Hell, words can't really describe what I feel about them. From the dozens of trip reports I've read, and the videos I've watched, I think that psychs can show you whole new worlds, inspire you, teach you and make you question things. I may be wrong. But I truly think I do need at least one psychedelic experience in my life. MDMA seems pretty interesting as well, it might help me with my autism and social anxiety. I might as well try stimulants and dissociatives, but to be honest those substances tend to scare me a little bit, since they can be toxic and/or addictive.
The last question I have to answer is: how did I end up here? Honestly I can't really remember. But I guess from all the information about drugs I've found, a certain part of them came from this site. I've been browsing the forums and reading stuff here for quite a long time, but recently I thought it would be nice to register and maybe talk with some people here, even though I'm not a drug user yet.

That's pretty much all I have to say. Sorry for making you wasting 5 minutes of your life reading my crappy introduction. And also sorry if my English is bad, it's not my native language, but I'm trying my best not to screw up Shakespeare's language.
Anyway, I hope I'll have good moments around here and get along with people

 

[Escape Fantasy]

Hello, and welcome to the club.

Since you say you want to be a future drug-user, let me give you my thoughts on drugs from an ex-addict.

Psyches (mainly LSD): were some of the best times of my life (I was a loser that left school). Brighter colors, crisper sounds, and just an overall stimulation to the brain that gave me kind of a wired feeling. I would stay up, play video-games, listen to music, and watch music videos. I remember I would beat everyone online while I was high, quick reaction time and extreme focus, they would notice that I was playing rather abnormally and call hacks. Music would send me so far away, listening to the same song on repeat for 20 min. I loved it, I would try to write music of my own through lyrics. I loved listening to music, that would be my favorite part. But, don't worry I also tried it with friends outside. I would give them a tab and we would drive around in my car. LSD was absolutely stunning in the beginning. I then started to get bad trips. I even ended up in a car accident while under the influence (I wasn't the one driving though, the guy skidded on a road while it was raining and crashed into a pole, only the driver got hurt). After that, LSD didn't seem so fun anymore. I started feeling guilty.

Then that guilt turned to paranoia. Each time I got high, I would feel like life wasn't real or it was a simulation, and would feel like someone was watching me or monitoring me. This borderline turned me schizophrenic. After a while, I started getting into really high doses to see what LSD could really do. And it is freaky, made me question my existence to the very core. I remember on some trips my brain would want to do 6 multiple tasks at once but I couldn't really decided which to do so I would literally be stuck in the middle like a computer freezing up. I would stay up many nights looking in the mirror, cursing my looks and where I come from, would make cry on many trips. I started to freak out on some very high doses. On one trip, I put the controller down and even stopped listening to music. I was so high I didn't want to do the things I normally do. I felt like for once I was a free-thinker, probably the highest I've ever been. On other nights the TV would seem like it was sped up 3x as fast, but why am I moving in real time in real life? I started to think about suicide because I thought of myself as failure because I would get high, leave school, and act strange. But it was because of the drug I was acting so strangely. Eventually, I started having psychotic trips and ended up in the hospital.

MDMA: Probably the best high of our existence (serotonin). But, definitely won't last. Only the first 10 times were the best. After a while, it starts not hitting you as hard and you'll always be reminiscing of how you felt the first few times. It won't ever feel like that again. I got addicted to it my very first time. Pretty dangerous actually. Makes you extremely depressed to the point you can't afford to live like this. You can't take it so frequently or you'll deteriorate your brain and won't function as well as you use to. Basically, it turns you into a retard.

Dissociatives/stimulants: Don't even bother trying. Dissociatives aren't real "trip-ers". They don't make think make think or hallucinate like psyches do. And stimulants just give u a speedy reaction and don't let you sleep at night/makes u stay up for no reason

In the end, there are good drugs (medicines), and there are bad drugs.

If you want to make your mom proud, DON'T DO DRUGS. Addiction was a choice the first time.

I'll leave it at that.

 

[Swerlz]

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