so for the last 20 plus years I've been drinking alcohol pretty regularly. I took 2 years "off" to do oxy and then suboxone (about 7 years now). then back to drinking. up until Nov 2016, I would binge drinking 2 days a week, drink in moderation here and there. some nights I took ativan. just 1mg was enough. in Nov 2016, I had a medical scare...atrial fibrillation. it happened again in Dec 2016. scared the shit outta me. I quit drinking and smoking for that. doctor wasn't sure if alcohol caused it or not (since its been discovered that most likely not). I've had multiple tests and my heart is fine...no heart disease. I'm perfectly healthy. all of this (a fib and quitting my comfortable life) gave me bad anxiety and I wad mistakenly put on an antipsychotic med. it helped for 2 weeks and then never again. I'm tapering off that now (another post about that) and I'm just about off it.
anyway...i haven't drank or smoked or anything for 14 months. it wasn't my choice to quit. I've been dealing with anxiety the last year. life just doesn't seem as fun. I'm constantly thinking about going back to drinking. my cardiologist said I can...but I should in moderation or I might be risking a fib. I've thought about taking oxy again but I have a wife and kids that I'd probably lose if I did.
I really did not want to quit the life I was living. it wasn't my choice. sometimes im not sure what to do with myself now. I'm into outdoor stuff and survivalism. I'm trying to get back to that minus alcohol, cigarettes, etc. for some reason it's hard. just not the same. I have a therapist I see a couple times a month. she's helping. but it's been 14 months. I used to live this carefree fearless reckless lifestyle. now I'm super healthy and most days am so uncomfortable.
anyway thanks for reading. I was wondering if anyone can relate. if it's normal after 14 months sober to feel bored by life still. does it get easier. I have kids I love to death and I'm desperate to be myself again...its just hard to see that without alcohol or some type of substance.
anyway...i haven't drank or smoked or anything for 14 months. it wasn't my choice to quit. I've been dealing with anxiety the last year. life just doesn't seem as fun. I'm constantly thinking about going back to drinking. my cardiologist said I can...but I should in moderation or I might be risking a fib. I've thought about taking oxy again but I have a wife and kids that I'd probably lose if I did.
I really did not want to quit the life I was living. it wasn't my choice. sometimes im not sure what to do with myself now. I'm into outdoor stuff and survivalism. I'm trying to get back to that minus alcohol, cigarettes, etc. for some reason it's hard. just not the same. I have a therapist I see a couple times a month. she's helping. but it's been 14 months. I used to live this carefree fearless reckless lifestyle. now I'm super healthy and most days am so uncomfortable.
anyway thanks for reading. I was wondering if anyone can relate. if it's normal after 14 months sober to feel bored by life still. does it get easier. I have kids I love to death and I'm desperate to be myself again...its just hard to see that without alcohol or some type of substance.