What led to you using blow again? Are you struggling to keep up with your responsibilities while detoxing?
Trying to keep and maintain a job while detoxing was a pretty big obstacle for me. It's possible, I've done it while working construction in the summer. Probably not advisable due to dehydration and possibly other concerns, but if you taper down right it is possible. Stay hydrated, keep simple food on you to snack on, keep a very low "emergency" dose on you for when absolutely needed. Say that you have the flu and haven't been feeling very well and take a sick day if need be. A lot of the WDs from opioids would be considered "flu-like symptoms" so no need to fake it. As long as you haven't already done this and don't keep doing this it shouldn't be a problem. Everyone gets sick.
In the end though I've basically had to start all over since I have gotten clean. I can't go back to some of what I was doing, and I don't want to go back to the rest. Really trying to move forward and get a fresh start myself.
I don't believe in a higher power or anything myself, but I do believe in other people and in forgiveness as well. It is important to forgive others when they make a mistake that impacts us, but it is equally important, if not more so, to forgive yourself. I know you had your own expectations of where you should and would be, but don't be discouraged if you are not there yet. i got so mad at myself when I relapsed this last time. Made it about 9 months no pills, then a few weeks ago I bought 10 bars and blacked out. I don't know if I took them all that night, but I blacked out the next three days and spent the week after piecing together the events based off what other people said and phone records. It would have been so easy to give in to the shame and guilt, but I know where that would have led.
The drugs beat us up enough already, we really don't need to punish or selves even more.
