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  • EADD Moderators: axe battler | Pissed_and_messed

EADD Heroin thread v.XXIV -- welcome back, PinkPapaver!

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Zopiclone bandit said:
Fucking hell Stee, you were doing well the last post I saw you did.
I am no preaching cu*t but why you go do that for man?.......when I see someone who is doing better than I ever could & they go mess up it gets me I won't lie about it.

For all it's worth enjoy your day though mate, I wish you the best.
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Cheers bud - sorry for the random timing of the reply but I've just had a pipe so might as well make the most of the brief stimulation.I haven't been 'doing well' for a year now - after managing to reduce my daily physeptone prescription from 70mls to 16 I was getting ready to be admitted for a 4 month residential detox and rehab when I fell off the wagon bigtime after being once again let down bigtime by one of the few individuals left in my life. Of course I realise that these things do not cause relapses and are just excuses, but none the less I felt genuinely hurt. The timing did not help - my usual benzo connect was unavailable so I resorted to an RC vendor for some flubromazepam and clonazolam powder. Net result consisted of my losing my place due to the dramatic escalation in my benzo use and with my methadone so low it didn't take long to develop a regular habit again which despite having to re - increase my methadone again at the end of the summer has stuck, with me continuing to use at least once a fortnight.

So now I need to get right back on track, but with so little pleasure in my life outside my drug use I continue to persist in these ridiculous behaviours,
 
THOUGHT: Taking heroin is a bit like releasing entire flocks of carrier pigeons into a city, all carrying the message Everything is perfectly alright. Just carry on as you are., while at the same time the whole rest of the city's communication infrastructure goes to rack and ruin. Nobody notices this happening as long as the pigeons keep coming and telling them everything is fine. When you stop taking it, everybody suddenly realises at once that everything is not fine. Shit piles up in the streets, workers don't get paid, shops can't sell the goods that haven't been delivered because the crops have not been harvested, and nobody can go out for want of clean clothes. Until the people re-establish some sort of order and eventually restore the phones, radio, TV and Internet to working order, chaos reigns.
 
Chaos isn't a pit. Chaos is a ladder. Many who try to climb it fail and never get to try again. The fall breaks them. And some, are given a chance to climb. They refuse, they cling to the realm or the gods or love. Illusions. Only the ladder is real. The climb is all there is.
 
LoginNotSecure said:
[FONT="]Chaos is a ladder...[/FONT]
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Its a valid notion but after seeing what happened to Lord Petyr 'Littlefinger' Baelish (who lived his life by this concept) in the last season of 'Game Of Thrones' I will probably look for an alternative way up =D
 
BecomingJulie said:
Well, I've managed to arrange things so all the head-requiring stuff falls within the coming two weeks; which should put me in an ideal position to score again just in time for Whitsun. I'll have been off the gear for nearly 6 weeks by then, so pretty much ready for a toot.

Of course, sliding down the rainbow could just give me an arse full of brightly coloured splinters ..... But let's cross that bridge when we come to it.

I don't think I've recovered too badly really, considering how much I blasted my way through over the course of six months .....
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I honestly don't know how you can keep punishing yourself like this Julie. You repeatedly stare into the abyss yet manage to drag yourself away just before it's too late. But each time you do this it chips away at your resolve and one day you'll go too far and plummet into the pit. How you've kept it together for this long is completely beyond my ken. You're obviously a better man than I am... ;)
 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
I honestly don't know how you can keep punishing yourself like this Julie. You repeatedly stare into the abyss yet manage to drag yourself away just before it's too late. But each time you do this it chips away at your resolve and one day you'll go too far and plummet into the pit. How you've kept it together for this long is completely beyond my ken.
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Six months was way too long a stretch without a break, as I found out the hard way. It's a mystery to me how I kept anything together. I could make excuses; but that's all they'd be, really, so I'm not going to bother. I'll have stayed off for six weeks by the Bank Holiday weekend. The trains are a mess with the new timetable coming into force, industrial action on the actual night I was planning to make the pick-up and then a Summer of rail replacement buses while they're doing track work and putting in another platform, making it harder for me to get off the wagon. The ratio (amount spent on drugs) / (amount spent on transport) will break my heart, but I don't plan on getting enough for a multi-day binge. And, as predictably as your mam ringing when you're on the lav, Billo is wanting a bit of it. [bigclivedotcom]But that's OK[/bigclivedotcom]; it might be a long time before the next time, so I hardly begrudge him it. He's not a bad mate really, now he's learned my name.

I've also got plenty of co-codamol in, so I can do a CWE (instead of going out and scoring) if I get sick enough on the comedown, and that ought to be enough to hold me. It's actually been quite enjoyable having my head ..... together probably is too strong a word, but less apart. I know the drill by now. Blaze through my whole stash quickly, don't try to eke it out, have it out of my system before I get a chance to get to used to it. Do the crime, do the time, get back on my horse and ride away, or something.
F.U.B.A.R. said:
You're obviously a better man than I am... ;)
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Heh. One of the first times I went out as me, an old drunk looked me up and down a few times, had a think for awhile, and then he said to me -- It must take some stones to do that! By the time I ever come up with a good response to that, they'll probably have invented a time machine so I can go back and deliver it .....
 
Ran out of my pain meds last evening, had my last shot of morphine (200mg) last night, then slept in through the night.

By the time I woke up, although early, postie had been and presented me with a nicely stuffed box of physeptone tablets. Just timely too, because I got up to go piss, and ended up passing out due to orthostatic hypotension (not opioid-related, its the adrenolytic meds I'm on drop my BP, so if I don't get up slowly, bent at the waist in half, then slowly raise myself upright, I can pass out because my heart hasn't yet equalized my BP sufficiently.)

Which happened. Got up to go piss, ended up flat on my back, knocked myself unconscious, hurt the back of my head and cervical spine area. Went right to hospital after that to ensure there was no break or hairline fracture etc.

Glad I did go, breaks ruled out, given 60mg DHC right then and there, then given a script for 56x30mg DHC tablets (paracetamol-free, so the CWE is just to filter out the solid binders etc.) and discharged after a CT scan.

Rather nice, as it happens as I need DHC specifically atm for a....shall we just say...a project. Doing what LC does best. thats over 1.5g, falling right into my lap like a gift from heaven. Did take 4 tablets, but the rest..not going to take a single one more. The methadone will fit in adequately.

That'd be let's see...2ml/g...1.660mg....3ml plus a few drops extra of 30% anhydrous hydrogen bromide in anhydrous glacial acetic acid....that'd be the ticket. 90 'C-100 'C, 2 hours...94-95% yield of 6-monoacetoxydihydromorphine, then add some methanol, and begin distilling, which converts the residual glacial acetic acid to methyl acetate, which is distilled off, leaving 6-AcO-DHM as a pale tan powder, which is simply solvent-washed several times and dried. DHC to something about, at least, I'd guess, 8-10x heroin potency-wise, although I've never done a side by side comparison. Its stronger (by a long margin) than dipropionylmorphine, which is at least as potent again than heroin is, compared to diamorphine vs morphine, delivered by the same route on a mg/mg basis.

Put it this way, 300mg IV knocked me SIDEWAYS into next fucking year. When I could IV 1.5g dipropionylmorphine in one shot. Stuff packs a fucking cunt of a punch. Hell its probably as potent compared to DPM as DPM is to morphine even. One of the strongest opioids I've EVER had, save for fentanyl, alfentanil, sufentanil, remifentanil and lofentanil. Although far superior to any of the fents. Plus some unidentified superpotent opioid, almost certain to be a fentanyl derivative or fent itself, in H off the street.

Although I don't buy from the street now, mainly because of the fent infestation. I prefer to trust the work of mine own hands, at least that way I KNOW what is in there. That way I know there is nothing fentanyl-ish in there, and that it isn't cut, just the pure substance.
 
Oh and julie, how can I POSSIBLY have a bad batch/contaminated/cut with brand big pharma's physeptone?

I imagine if they made bunk methadone, fucked a batch up there would be a LOT of people lining up outside their corporate HQ armed with garden forks and spades just looking to be the first in about 50,000 to drive a sharp implement through the genitalia of a CEO.

Same for my own work...I KNOW it isn't full of bloody glucose or whatever else the fuck the fuckers put into shit like that. Or fent. Because I sure as shite ain't about to synth no fentanyls, too damn potent for safe handling. And whilst *I* might survive a small-scale skin contact accident, even a particle or two in the air could kill family. My old man doesn't go in the skunkworks, he just doesn't ever enter the room, but still, its the sort of thing you just can't do safely. Besides I don't even LIKE fent much.

Shitty, no real rush on IV, not much of a nod, poor in the way of euphoria, short acting as fuck, causes monstrous tachyphylaxis and tolerance like a bitch. Not particularly safe. IMHO absolutely fuck all use for anything but surgical anaesthesiology practice and intractable pain for highly tolerant chronic pain patients. They tried me on it and even then I didn't like it, transdermally or intravenously, or via IM. Just...meh all round. Did get some fent contaminated H twice, ended up with about 9x20 bags, and toked the stuff given I'd paid 100 quid odd for it, plus another ten bag thrown in for the size of the buy. Fucking full of some superpotent opioid, tiny grains of it smoked were enough to knock me out cold.

So fuck that shit. Not as though I was going to throw out that much twice over (that much for a week, or so I intended, went for two weeks worth), and the stuff was potent enough to be damn dangerous, I'm pretty sure it has killed a lot of people, I haven't heard from the dealers, their contacts, any of their affiliated users, or the contact of my own who I got the stuff through. Not once, since it came out, two weeks and they fucking vanished off the face of the earth, never to be heard from or seen again. I draw my own conclusions from that, having smoked some of that dope and with the tolerance I had at the time........a tiny, tiny bit making me black out, in 1-2 tokes, vaped in a pipe.

Just goes to show how much good drug prohibition has done and is doing society.
 
So on Sunday, whilst I was at a local arts festival with my parents, my mother drops a bombshell: "Don't forget you've got the Dentist next Saturday". The Saturday after the night I was planning to break my fast. Oops. A hasty rescheduling is required.

It does mean, though, that I won't have to stand freezing my tits off on a railway platform in solidarity with the striking workers for an extra 23 minutes plus delays.
 
Getting some real fire at the moment light sandy rocks with black bits in it - fuck knows what that is. But like i said in another postholding the smoke in for as long as possible 45 sec for me doubles the power or there abouts I really had forgotten about when we first started smoking gear and we alwayd held it in til we were fit to burst
 
BecomingJulie said:
THOUGHT: Taking heroin is a bit like releasing entire flocks of carrier pigeons into a city, all carrying the message Everything is perfectly alright. Just carry on as you are., while at the same time the whole rest of the city's communication infrastructure goes to rack and ruin. Nobody notices this happening as long as the pigeons keep coming and telling them everything is fine. When you stop taking it, everybody suddenly realises at once that everything is not fine. Shit piles up in the streets, workers don't get paid, shops can't sell the goods that haven't been delivered because the crops have not been harvested, and nobody can go out for want of clean clothes. Until the people re-establish some sort of order and eventually restore the phones, radio, TV and Internet to working order, chaos reigns.
Click to expand...

this made me burst into tears. I've been clean from heroin for around 3 years, other drugs clean for a year now! This post hit nerves though.
Today was the funeral of a friend who OD'd on heroin.


Mental health is still a daily fight.

Keep strong BecomingJulie.
 
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Well that was rather neat....just had a prescription (dihydrocodeine) end up being usable twice, sort of.

One particular pharmacy refused to fill one I'd gotten from a hospital, after my recently smashing my head and neck, after I blacked out and fell backwards, leaving me unable to turn my head, although thats pretty much recovered. Stupid overzealous little shit of a pharmacist refused to fill the thing because the hospital doctor had misspelled DHC as 'dihydracodeine' then corrected it, even after phoning them up and confirming the rx was legit, bloody twat still forced me to go back to the hospital and get another rx done.

Did that, collected it, after giving the pharmacist a bollocking, and ended up still left with the original one. Just took that to a different pharmacy who filled it without complaint, so essentially I got two lots from the same script, which I am rather chuffed about. And right when there is..a project...that needs DHC as its substrate. Just got another 60x30mg tabs, no APAP because I still had the original one with the spelling error corrected.
 
Let me guess, you're going to try to make something with pentanoic acid -- that being the next one with an odd number of carbon atoms in it?
 
Nope. HBr (30%, in GAA, anhydrous) is capable of selectively cleaving the 6-position methyl ether of dihydrocodeine (apparently it doesn't work for codeine) and as a strong acid, is capable of subsequently inducing a Fischer esterification of the phenol to give the corresponding ester.

So the result, using GAA as the solvent (and reactant) would be 6-monoacetoxydihydromorphine. Trials with propionic acid (anhydrous) will be done too, to give the propionate ester, to give a sort of hybrid between 6-MAM and 6-acetoxydihydromorphine. Only, the propionate ester, hoping for the best of both worlds, between the long lived and intense rush on IV from 6-AcO-DHM and the hugely prolonged duration of dipropionylmorphine.

Just decided to get a bit...creative..and hey, with that pharmacist's fuckup leaving me with two scripts instead of one, plus 9-10 boxes of paramol, CWE'd and extracted, that should be enough to get a fairly decent yield of a damn strong and euphoric opioid; one of the best in fact, that I have ever tried. Yields can be as high as 94-95%.
 
^ Why the hell aren't you a highly paid organic chemist Mr.Chicken? I'm sure you'd wipe the floor with the rest of 'em...
 
Probably because I only got C grades in science at GCSE level. A real ripoff really, I was held back. Was told after the exams that I'd scored the highest of any pupil in the history of the school in the sciences, but I was not permitted to take the higher tier papers, because 'oh, sorry, we don't do that here'.

I can't help but wonder if its because of its being a special ed school. Anyhow, as I said, they just said 'sorry we don't do high tier exams, only the entry level papers'. I missed one damn question across all three papers (chem, physics and biology), and that was just a dumb slip on my part, I forget which way around it went, but I miswrote the formula for either carbonate or bicarbonate when the opposite should have been written. Not a lack of knowledge on my part, I just forgot to write a numeral/wrote one accidentally. Otherwise I'd have scored 100%.

Really pissed about that, even now; I cannot help but feel as though I have been cheated. Those papers, no matter how well one performs, the grade is limited. 100% correct answers will earn somebody only a C-grade. There is no way to get an A* or A grade, C is the highest you CAN get.

And my math abilities don't really help either. I BARELY scraped a 'G', by a question or two. Otherwise they wouldn't even have graded my math paper. I'm severely dyscalculic. Causes me no end of a headache when working out proportions of reactants etc. And there are things I'm just not able to do, such as percentages other than 10/25/50/sometimes 75% of something. Otherwise I can't manage that, not even with a calculator

And I've never been able to find work, have tried since I was 16, but haven't had a single job offer, now, I've just given up on trying because I know nobody is going to give someone with my lack of work history a chance. It just isn't going to happen, I'm not going to get a job offer at 31, nearly 32, when I've tried since school leaving age. I don't see any way to get even a menial job, never mind a highly skilled position. And it more or less goes without saying that the fact I own my own lab and that I am, bar my last secondary school (the special ed one, well the second special ed one, I went to two of them), entirely self taught as a scientist; counts for nothing whatsoever.
 
Just waiting for an IM shot prepared from 12x30mg zomorph caps (morphine sulfate) to kick in, think I'll go stick a few lynlor caps
up the ol' nose-hoover while I wait (oxycodone IRs, got a box of 56 of those just begging to be snorted and shot and stuck where the sun doesn't shine), already had 4x192mg chloremethiazole (orally, they aren't something I'd shoot, or IMO that anyone else ought to because they contain chlormethiazole base, an oily liquid, which melts plastic too, so not likely to be very healthy. I do have some glass syringes, but I don't use them to shoot up, and aside from perhaps one or two of them, they are rather larger than the sizes used for IVs, the biggest I have being IIRC 150ml, and most of them have been used to dispense measures of some rather nasty customers of chemical reagents, both toxic substances, highly corrosive ones and more than a few that fit both categories, some of them of a kind that can't be exposed to a needle, because they would attack and disintegrate the steel [quite a nuisance, little buggers like that are too]

So with a history of being used for things like iodine monochloride, nitric acid, mercury salts, among the friendlier of whats been in them, I'm sure as shit stinks not going to be sticking anything that has touched those into my veins.

Just had 90-100mg oxy up the nose, whilst I await the morphia kicking in.
 
Can someone help me with some questions I think my son is using and has marks on his body? If anyone will talk to me please give me email
 
Joowey said:
Can someone help me with some questions I think my son is using and has marks on his body? If anyone will talk to me please give me email
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No one is going to give you their email address mate. But feel free to post your questions or concerns on this forum - there's a wealth of knowledge and experience to be had here.

Have you actually tried talking to him?
 
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