Mental Health Ritalin addicted almost dead

[Ritalin addicted]

Hello everyone,
First of all sorry for my English, not my mother tongue but in my country I don't find so much information and experienced users. Please I ask you to not write a reply if you don't have experience or knowladge on the matter.

So I will try to sumarize.

I am a 30 year old guy that studied a university degree and speak 3 languages. However finding a job in my country is very difficult, many people are going abroad.

Since one year ago my life is very simple, I study every single day between 8 and 9 or 10 hours a day. This is in order to get prepared for an exam that takes place once a year with the objective of working in public employment. At least 15.000 people take this exam and only between 300 and 700 are able to pass, you can imagine how hard it is, it can take you 4 or 5 years to pass of you finally pass.

So, due to my poor concentration and bad memory I started taking ritalin almost 3 months ago. The exam is at the beginning of March. Since the beggining I had great results, better than expected. However I started uping the dose. I have several problems in my life which I will probably will tell in further posts and had in the past drug addiction problems. So perhaps these among other were the cause I was upping the dose and of course you will know to feel the same effects you need to up the dose.

I felt good and studying good but some day I realized that I was taking 15 pills and began to see a problem. However my results were great and I said ok 2 months left, I will take the exam and then quit ritalin. I know it would be hard withdrawal but I am strong and had quitted other drugs.

My relationship with my uncle, the person I lived began having problems and after one month a bump in my tongue didnt go away. I didn't give any importance to it, the only important thing was the exam. My uncle was telling me every day to go to the doc because of the bump in my tongue and he was insisting so much I went to the doc. Before that I started having panic attacks because the only reason a bump in your tongue does not go away after 2 weeks it's oral cancer. I went to the doc and he prescribed a biopsy on my tongue. Ok so it we very probable I had cancer as have smoked my whole life and all my father family had cancer in the past. That problem and some more, made me to being not focused on the exam, for the fiest time in one year. I heavily uped the dose until 25 pills, however I couldn't concentrate in studying. No matter what I did I couldn't study. So now I am taking almost 30 pills a day, many of them snorted. I feel physically good monitor my blood pressure and the doc told me I wasn't going to die as lethal ritalin dose is 190mg per kg but told me to quit immediately adter the exam.

So after that day even I don't think on my tongue I can't concentrate, can't focus and don't know what is the cause. I am in serious trouble as my uncle told me away from his house when he discovered this. I am alone no friends no family and in a city which is not where I am from. The addiction thing I will probably will enter in a detox center, I will have spend one month and it will be solved.

What really concerns me is why I can't concentrate, I feel as if I was in a hungover all the time. I have researched and people don't have this issue, they up the dose and can concentrate again and people who have taken the drug for years. I haven't tried hard to diminish the dose but it doesn't matter I take 25 or 30, I can't work. So probably I have damaged my brain and can no longer work? Is my uncouncousness of having so many problems? I am totally lost and would do everything to be able to concentrate again. I have lost 8 days, which is a lot and need to recover my mental ability urgently.

Any advice will be much appreciated.

 

[Ritalin addicted]

And after researching scientific studies, ritalin stop helping concentration when you abuse due to tolerance, but my problem is not tolerance I believe as I feel high and still have the effects but I am not able to remain sitted and read anymore. It is as if I am retarded, kind of not understanding what I read and not feel comfortable. I only can practice test examinations, and even I can solve the answers it takes me much longer to answer the question. I really don't know what to do, I will ask tomorrow for a brain scan and will start taking less, although I don't think it will work.

 

[Ritalin addicted]

I really need your help.

 

[cj]

I doubt you have cancer. Your doing a ton of Ritalin ok that's first off. Ritalin is a stimulant. Stimulants cause paranoid thinking. This can be made worse by lack of sleep lack of eating lack of water intake. Okay so your body is out of whack from not enough calories,not enough sleep. This will effect your immune system negatively. Ok stims make people grind teeth it's worse the higher the dose we often don't even notice we are doing it. If your tongue got a scrape cut brooze whatever while your grinding your jaw you likely wouldn't have noticed beyond a quick little pain. Under healthy circumstances your immune system clears it in a day no notice to you most likely. But your not healthy your on a big binge your immune system is not working well so that injury doesn't heal gets a lil infected, now it's a big ass bump and your freaking out. You follow? So stop taking Ritalin get some sleep and eat healthy all for a week at minimum. I think you'll be right as rain.

 

[Ritalin addicted]

I am very worried. I have many many personal problems and don't know how to quit. If I want to enter a detox center in this city I should wait at least a month. I am alone and have no one who supports me. I have seen 3 different pshychiatrist and it seems to me they have little idea of what this substance is for. One told me today that if I keep this dose is more than probable than in 2 or 3 weeks I am dead. The other studying
Doctor told me to wait until the exam is over. I am totally lost.

 

[cj]

Ritalin is a stimulant. Stop taking it immediately it has no withdrawal symptoms. Your not thinking straight right now

 

[Ritalin addicted]

I have been told by proffesionals that quitting snorting ritalin psychological withdrawal is one of the worst, takes months and very hard to recover. I am very worried as since my uncle kicked me off his home, I upped the dose. I am unable to study, unable to sleep or eat, if I want to go to a public detox center I have to wait one month. I am not prepared to abandon my exam, to severe depression with no support and after 2 weeks detox wouldnt know where to go.

 

[cj]

Your going to have really bad cravings. At least it's not heroin where you are craving while blowing water snot and shit out of every opening. Oh and you can't sleep for days. I'm not saying this will be fun but it won't be hell either

 

[Ritalin addicted]

I will post here what I posted on other forum.

Hello everyone and first of all sorry if I am not doing the right thing posting this as I don't have adhd but haven't seen in the rules only adhd people can post. I don't really know where to post this. I know I am insane and have serious trouble and must seek for profesional guidance which I already have done in the last week. I have gone to 3 different psychiatrist and they have different opinions. In the city I live right now three are not many doctors and they seem to know little about ritalin.

So, sorry for being too long but I think you have to know all details. In the past I had addiction problems, always with cocaine but have also taken other drugs. Even in high doses, I took cocaine for 3 or 4 days in a row, irregularly but with serios problems, going to the worst places you can imagine and causing many problems to my girdfriend, I am so sad and feel very bad for that. She decided one day it was enough and decided to leave my house with my 2 year daughter. I was sober for 5 years due to bodybuilding, but I had serious injuries and surgeries and had to quit bodybuilding, I dedicated the whole day to this sport , training, hard diet, always looking for information to improve...but one day I found myself I depressed, I lost all my muscles, and d didn't know what to do with my life without sports, those days were very depressing and sadly I started taking drugs again, this time I think I developed my addiction as my consumption was different than in the past.

Even with addiction problems I was a responsible person in studies and at work. I have a business administration degree with high marks and speak 3 languages. This doesn't mean nothing in this country and there are little chances to have an employment. When my girldfriend leaved I knew I shouldn't been alone and went to the only family I have, my uncle. I moved to a different city and rented my house so that I had some money.

I started studying very hard, between 8 and 10 hours per day one year ago. It's for public employment examination, and it's really hard as there are few vacancies for many people, some of them have been studying 4 years, so it was nearly impossible for me to pass in my first year.

I decided I needed something that helped me with my poor concentration and memory that could help me to study the same hours and even more and to be more efficient. Taking prescribed tradozone and venlafaxine didn't help with this. I started taking ritalin as I knew there was a medication which my mother used to have when I was 18 years old and was preparing for university access exams, very hard BTW. That time I took 1 pill p per day for 3 days and had no trouble.

So, I started taking ritalin, around 2 months ago or may be 2 and a half. I went to different doctors until I foun one that prescribed 3 pills of 20mg a day. Now I know it was one of the worst decisions I have ever taken. At the beginning I saw the great results I was having, no trouble at all, but I started to see I needed more pills, and didn't searched for help if Iwas doing right. One day taking 10 pills a day I decided to go to the doctor because my uncle was insisting, I had a bump in my tongue that hadn't gone away in 2 months. I saw the ritalin side effects and saw this was no related to this. I looked it up in the internet and found that the only cause a bump wasn't gone was oral cancer, one of the most aggressive and read horrible stories, only 50% people seemed to survive and in the best cases you were removed half of the tongue and had troble to speak and eat, 95% of people that had this are smokers wich I am, 18 year smoker with many members of my family from my dad side had smokin related cancer. I know, I am total stupid and crazy. I went to the doctor, perhaps I was paranoid because the internet is very confusing. I mentioned this to my uncle and he was very upset and started saying I was mad, paranoid, those pills were driving me crazy. It's sad because he even helped me buying more pills taking me to a doctor who prescribed me 5 30 pills boxes, 150 pills of 20mg. I told my uncle that I was taking 5 pills when I was taking 10. He hasn't taken any drugs and has never self medicated, very healthy man, but very mental unstable and with behaviour issues.

Well I am being too long, but feel the need to explain how I got to this nightmare. I went to the doctor and fuck he ordered I should have a biopsy of my tongue, even though she said that it was very probable it wasn't cancer but I knew that many doctors try to be positive before having a diagnosis. I started by then to up my dose and began to snort it, at the beggining only 3 or 4 pills snorted, now 60% of them snorted. I hate snorting ritalin as I know excipients are very toxic and taste hortible but I had even more concentration and felt very good. Taking by that time 15 pills I knew I was doing no good and my uncle knew I wasn't taking the prescribed dose, but didn't know how much I was taking. I know I my behaviour had changed as I talked a lot, started writing lots of things while studyng, didn't sat with my uncle after dinner to watch movies, which I did every day and the 2 friends I had decided stop talking to me, I don't know if this was because I talked much more or because I had decided not providing anymore t the exams and stuff I had from my academy, one of the best in my country, which takes me 2 hours trip in public transport. The reason that one of the guys told me, through wahtsapp, was that when we had coffee and had lunch (the rest of the time we are studying) he didn't rest and that he didn't want to have me as a friend. He didn't mention behaviour changes but mentioned that he didn't know me well at the beggining.

Biopsy and alone, my uncle upset, my girldfriend (I hadn't mentioned that she visited me and brought me to my daughter every 2 weeks or so) upset because I told her I had a problem with the pills, (I was taking between 15 and 20). My uncle insisted I should take only 3 pills, but I knew that if I took less pills I wouldn't study so much and that the exam was taking place in the first week of march and that by then I would quit, I guessed it wasn't going to be easy, but well I had quitted more addictive substances even cigarettes and cocaine, venladaxine, every addictive substance. 11 days ago, I starded having problems with concentration, I used a lot my mobile phone to search information about ritalin addiction, cancer, etc. Things that were interesting for me weren't anymore I was smoking lots of cigarretes and having trouble while sleeping. Tradozone wasn't helpful to sleep and had to take pregabaline, the only thing I had to sleep. I went to the ER asking for help as my concentration had decreased a lot and that it didn't matter how many pills I took,I tried taking less or taking more, it didn't matter. They studied my heart and read my blood pressure, not bad 13/8 ave my heart was fine. I told the doctor if the amount of ritalin I was taking could be lethal and said no way. He prescribed quetiapine to sleep and tokd me to take a low dose at the beggining and if it didn't affect me to up the dose, I coukd take between 50 or 700m of quetiapine, so I did that night began with 50mh at 12am and couldnt sleep taking until 600mg going to sleep at 7am. My uncle woke me up shouting and very aggressive, it was 15pm and I was sleeping. My timetable wasn't regular anymore, which was in the past waking up at around 8am everyday. Well I was having many problems with my uncle and he was always angry, making me feel even worse. The exam was taking place in the first week of March and from 10 hours studying I studied only around 4 or 5, but bad quality. I told my uncle I wasn't taking 5 or 6 pills but 15, when I was taking 20. On Sunday he decided I should leave the house or stay, taking no more pills or go to a detox center, I knew I was unable to go from 20 pills to 0 and couldn't go to a detox center as my exam was in one month and even I was having bad concentration I could practice test and perhaps the concentration improved. I went to a cheap hotel and started searching for a rent room but I found after 2 days that there were only 3rooms available, 2 of them but inmediately, and the one I visited didn't like it at all, the guy was unpleasant and put many conditions. The house was hortible and the room totally depressing. I was in truble, taking 25 pills and began snorting before going to bed, I managed to sleep with some alprazolam but couldn't study. Went to addiction unit in the city and visited many doctors. The addiction unit doctor told me I really needed a detox center, 2 weeks in hospital and around 6 months in comunity center. She said that if I continued with that dose I was going to die or have a brain stroke perhaps in no more than 2 weeks. That was yesterday morning. Since then I don't go to university to study as can't do a thing and am very afraid of snorting in there, having severe anxiety issues and depression if I didn't snort in 2 or 3 hours. The doctor prescribed to enter in the public hospital. I had to wait one month to get into the hospital My girldfriend told me she wasn't going to visit me anymore ave that even if I detoxed she would definitely not be with me again.

I don't know how many pills I am taking around 30 may be less, can't study and feel horrible. I can't imagine the problens I ecounter, I don't see myself going into detox center,I have destroyed everything, exam, uncle, daughter, everything. I don't know what to do right now. My uncle knows my situation and offered me help, to go back on Sunday to his house and detox there. He will have the ritalin and proposed to take down the dose, tapper 1 pill a day and see how I manage. I only have this option or go to a different city 500km away ave enter inmediately in a hospital 10 or 15 days, my private ensurance covers it. I don't know what to do, I am so scared, I lost everything, now this. The more I read the more I am scared. Phycological withdrawal is even worse than heroine and I know it's going to be the worst nightmare on my life.

I want to go somewhere, so that someone gives me what should I do. I think that staying at my uncle gone is not going to work. I am of course not snorting at his home. I will be alone sometimes and won't be able to do a thing besides staying at bed, oral administration doesn't do a shit to me.

What should I do? Take a train and go to hospital in a different city? Trying to taper with my uncle? Quitting cold turkey, is it possible? I know is a difficult decision, but I am in pannic. I don't know if I should go again to ER and ask, I feel the they won't help me.

Sorry for telling this horrible story, itc is embarrassing. I am mad and perhaps I will suicide I don't know.

Read more: http://aadduk.proboards.com/thread/11485/ritalin-quitting#ixzz55yYckN1w

 

[cj]

Dude your being badly misinformed of the reality of the withdrawal you face. It's not going to be anything close to kicking heroin

 

[zephyr]

The thing on your tongue could be just a polyp and easily tested with a biopsy.

You do need to just calm down and taper down so you wont be too uncomfortable.

Youll be fine but you will have trouble concentrating as your dopamine recovers to normal.

Just study as you can and if you feel too overwhelmed defer the test and repeat the unit.

 

[Ritalin addicted]

Thank you very much for your help guys. I am taking too much ritalin I know, 30 pills today I believe. Snorting this shit is horrible, as I can't take out excipients as I am in a hotel right now.
Yes probably I am wrong, reading on the internet is not good some times and if you go to different doctors they have different opinions.
They told me to take quetiapine but I don't like the effect and don't sleep unless I take very large doses. I don't know if you tried both but together but let me tell you quetiapine will make that ritalin doesn't do any effect next day..
They also gave me aripiprazol to avoid psychotic outbreaks which I have only had when I injected cocaine. They were pretty bad, you can't imagine what kind of nightmares I had with those outbreaks, to this day I keep believing they were real. I won't tell you what I saw and heard because it's unbelievable.
If I need they will also prescribe pregabsline, but no doctor is prescribing me benzos, they say I am a fucking junkie.I told I don't get addicted on benzos, I have been taking high doses of alprazolam for one month and minimal withdrawal, I didn't feel nothing I believe, perhaps it was because of the tradozone I don't know.
So guys, I know this is very individual but my uncle is planning to taper at least one pill a day, what do you think? Doctors say one quit cold turkey, other 200mg each 5 days, that is 10 pills every 5 days, what the fuck?, other half each day... What do you think?
About benzos I have some clonazepam and I think it will be better taking them, trying to start at 0,5mg a day.
Yes about the tongue, I am not prepared for a biopsy, read it's quite painful and I am not prepared to receive such bad news. No one is prepared to have cancer anyway, but while retiring ritalin it must be horrifying.
Doctors say I am not going to recover concentration in some time, and obviosly not while tapering.
So, thanks a lot guys, I only have you as my family right now.

 

[Ritalin addicted]

And of course, I know it will be fucking drastic changing snortinf for oral. I tried once ave oral made no effect.

 

[Ritalin addicted]

I have decreased from 30 to 24 pills, tomorrow will be 23. I think it's going too fast but I am under my uncle's rules. Today I feel terribly sleepy, but for know if it is because of the decrease or because 1mg of clonazepam ang 25mg of quetiapine taken yesterday night.