what is the first step you took in getting sober?

[squirrel_girl]

hi,
think i might need to get sober. i am trying right now to at least cut back on my drug use because i am "frightening" everyone around me. a lot of people have confronted me recently so i'm getting a little bugged out that everyone can tell i've been using more and more.
i stopped drinking hard alcohol and i tried to abstain from benzos for 3 days but it turned into only 2. i have been slightly threatened with inpatient/ intensive outpatient rehab, which i have no time for and do not want to do. i'm in counseling twice a week and i really don't have time for the extra 2 days that actual rehab would be. also im not physically addicted to anything so i feel like i realllllyyyy dont need rehab.
so i'm just wondering what the first step in getting sober you took was? i am just trying to figure out my moves. i dont want everyone around me to be worried about me but getting sober seems actually impossible (bc i've tried a few times at this point and it has not worked out) and i want to, but i also don't want to, you know? (like life without drugs seems like it really sucks)

thanks.

 

[Pickledlemons]

I think the first and most important step is wanting to get sober. Sounds like youre still on the fence. You came here so that is a step in the right direction. If you really want to be sober, you can do anything you put your mind to. If you are just trying to get sober because thats what other people want, you might have a harder time.

Either way, good luck.

 

[Tubbs]

Yeah you definitely have to want it, that's the most important step, as well as the first. After that is deciding your approach, cold turkey, taper, replacement. Lot of choices ahead of you, hope everything works out for you squirrelly.

 

[herbavore]

hi,
...and i want to, but i also don't want to, you know? (like life without drugs seems like it really sucks)

Right now that is all you can imagine because that is all you really know. It's important to remember that immediately after you stop using drugs is a time when your brain is in chaos, you have been deprived of your coping mechanisms, your stimuli, even just your familiar habits--of course it is going to suck! But if you can see this difficult time, not as something that will continue to stretch out forever into your future, but as a temporary challenge, you can begin to see the world open up. Since you are already in therapy, maybe you could try to work on what your motivation is to take drugs (boredom? challenging emotions? trauma? all of them?) and try to start creating strategies that can replace the drugs. You will still have the same wants and needs that led you to drugs in the first place so how will you address those? We all have those same wants and needs and part of adult life is figuring out how to create the life that both fulfills us and keeps us as healthy as possible.

Right now it sounds like other people are telling you that you need to quit. You are going to have to come to that yourself completely. This is not to say that you won't have conflict (who can easily give up something that brings pleasure and relief?)

 

[simco]

I totally agree with all the earlier responses, OP. One additional thing is finding one or more people who can help you with this. I'm sure it's possible to get sober in isolation, but I think it's much better to approach it along with some people whom you can lean on. And what "lean on" varies from person to person...personally I found various kinds of help in various settings (e.g. my friends/selected family, IOP, even NA).

 

[touchofgrey92]

Eliminate people who give you the stink eye for not wanting to buy, or do drugs with them.

 

[Jabberwocky]

hi,
think i might need to get sober. i am trying right now to at least cut back on my drug use because i am "frightening" everyone around me. a lot of people have confronted me recently so i'm getting a little bugged out that everyone can tell i've been using more and more.
i stopped drinking hard alcohol and i tried to abstain from benzos for 3 days but it turned into only 2. i have been slightly threatened with inpatient/ intensive outpatient rehab, which i have no time for and do not want to do. i'm in counseling twice a week and i really don't have time for the extra 2 days that actual rehab would be. also im not physically addicted to anything so i feel like i realllllyyyy dont need rehab.
so i'm just wondering what the first step in getting sober you took was? i am just trying to figure out my moves. i dont want everyone around me to be worried about me but getting sober seems actually impossible (bc i've tried a few times at this point and it has not worked out) and i want to, but i also don't want to, you know? (like life without drugs seems like it really sucks)

thanks.

If you feel like life without drugs wouldn't be very nice, there are basically two options:

Continue exploring what life is like using drugs (for obvious reason, at best, this sounds like it would be challenging if people are giving you shit for using drugs; if you want to go this route - and there is NOTHING wrong with this - try to find less harmful stuff to use, like cannabis as opposed to alcohol or whatever); or

Put you efforts into exploring what it's like to enjoy life beyond mere drug use.

It's worth nothing you can continue to use drugs in less harmful ways and explore what it's like to enjoy life. They aren't mutually exclusive for most people, and I don't see anything to suggest you're in danger of the way you use drugs causing yourself or others irreparable harm. In any case, I'd suggest exploring how to enjoy life more outside just using drugs.

Frankly, I haven't met anyone who simply lives for using drugs. Even the most hard core drug users - which you OP definitely do not fall into - still crave connection with other people, community, comradely, and whatever other meaning they can scrounge. Most drug users have lives far beyond just using drugs.

The most significant point is that this is all up to you OP. Your drug use, recovery, everything. Find people who will listen to you and support you by meeting you where ever you're at. Find people who will work with you to explore what goals might be most important to you, on your own terms, and then who will help you go about doing whatever you need to do to achieve them.

Might I ask, what reasons do you have for discontinuing, or at least addressing, your current drug use? What harm has it caused yourself or others?

Likewise, what kinds of stuff are you or have you been interested in outside drug use? What are you passionate about, what kind of work do you dream of doing, what hobbies do you have or had you really have enjoy, all that stuff. What makes or has made life worth loving outside drug use?

Next to the questions related to what you want, questions about what is really meaningful to you are invaluable guideposts.

 

[squirrel_girl]

It's been awhile since I posted this, but I wanted to update:

I am in treatment now and I'm still smoking weed and taking benzos probably too much, but i've only done coke 2 times since i quit in february and to me that is success. i've only had a drink like maybe 5 times which is crazy because i used to drink 8-12 beers a day.
I definitely smoke too much weed but god being off the coke and the alc and the benzo cut down has changed my life and i do want to eventually be fully sober. right now i dont think i can, but i believe i will be able to in the future.

i'm feeling positive about my recovery and just wanted to put some positive vibes out there, like it is possible to kick the stuff u thought u would never be able to live without (at least coke and alc and benzos).

 

[Stargazer]

Welcome back squirrel girl

It sounds like you have put effort into figuring out what's best for you - for now, as you said.

For me, being sober is if Im not shooting heroin. Life becomes out of control when I do.

Good for you for getting into treatment. Getting sober/clean is definitely a process. The timeline varies for each of us. So does the definition of sobriety.

I'm glad you came back to update!

 

[ladyhlove]

Hey squirrel girl, welcome back!

What kind of treatment are you in? Outpatient, I'm assuming (since you're still using drugs, kinda difficult to do inpatient). What's your program like? How long is it? How often are you going?

I would suggest maybe a change of scenery. This doesn't mean move, just means maybe change up your routine some, change who you are spending time with if they are also drug/alcohol users. I'm an opiate user myself and, while none of my friends use opiates, I have a significant amount of friends who are addicts in one way or another (alcohol, benzos, coke, etc...lots of alcohol use mainly, though). I've learned that I need to be around more positive influences. While I haven't completely cut these people out of my life for good (these are some of my best friends for years and years), I've tried to do more healthy activities with these friends, like going to get coffee instead of going to get beers or going hiking instead of sitting around smoking weed for hours and, if they're not ok with that, limiting the time I spend with these friends. I'm a sucker for peer pressure, I get it.

As far as changing up your routine, what kind of hobbies did you enjoy before you started using heavily? Personally, I liked to run and hike and rock climb..anything to get those endorphins kicking. I've found that going to the gym during the time a day that I normally would've gone and picked up heroin helps me not have cravings as bad. Your body gets used to a routine and, when you mess with it aka give up drugs/alcohol and the using behaviors that go along with it, it can feel like something is missing and it can lead you back into using. I find that mixing up my day, changing up some of the things I do even slightly gets me out of that headspace. It's amazing how much your brain associates certain places and routines with the drugs it craves.

Have you looked into AA/NA, SMART Recovery, or Refuge Recovery? Meetings could give you a place to meet some positive, sober people to create a healthier support system for yourself...also, it'll give you something to do to kill that boredom of sobriety.

Good luck with everything. You've found a great place for support!

 

[squirrel_girl]

sorry for such a late response! i really appreciate you guys taking the time to help me!

ive actually just finished an intensive outpatient situation and am now just going to the doc a couple times a week.
my friends who used to enable me have actually been so supportive. like there was one night they were all doing coke and i was like can i do some and they were like take a breath first, we dont think you really want to do this. and they were right. and i have tried doing more wholesome activities with them too, and it's been surprisingly wonderful.
and i have been avoiding places and situations where i know i will not be able to control myself.

i used to love to run and cook so i think that's where im starting with new hobbies.

i really appreciate the support; it's especially nice that you guys take time out of your days to help strangers in need. thank you