The meaning of signs and looking for them

[MisterTi]

So this is kind of a long story, but I would like to know your opinion about it.


To give you some background context, I already had 3 psychotic episodes in my life, in all of the times I got prescribed some pills to handle it the syntoms, like Invega, Zyprexa and Olanzanpine.
In the first two episodes the doctors told me that the cause was drugs like weed, but after the second I stopped doing any drugs, only drinked alcohol once in a while, according to them the third episode
was triggered by a huge amount of stress (I was having at work on that time).
This last episode was last year (2017) in April, I was in pills till September and then I stop taking it by my own will, even against doctors support, just because I always hated these kind of pills negative symptoms
like zombie feeling, no motivation, depression, slow thinking and weight gain.
The thing is that I start to think globally in all my life and my thoughts, even before the first episode, I start reading a lot about some spiritual stuff, like Law of Attraction and so on.
I think that my had triggered everything, I started giving and finding meanings to everything that happened in my life after those readings.
While I am on medication I am so zombiefied that I don't think on this things, on sings of universe and stuff like that.
But know it started happening again, I am starting to find meanings to stuff that I find and visualize on my daily routine life, and maybe thats something indicating that a new episode may arrive.


The point I am trying to make is, what is this thing that always happened to me?
Why do I try to find meanings to everything, why do I look for signs? how this happen? is there anything spiritual related to this? Like Universe giving me signs of something?
Or its just the disease shouting out loud?


I would like to read more about this, if this a well known process in human mentality or something, you know?
You may not relate to this, but if you do, can you give me some insights on what is happening to me?


What help can you give me about this?
If by any chance you need to know more details about the signs or anything just tell, I would really appreciate any help on this!

 

[Xorkoth]

I'm not sure, but my best friend is experiencing extended meth psychosis, and he went from never being like this to thinking everything and everyone is pointing to there being a massive conspiracy against him. He sees a sign in everything. It seems to be a clasic symptom of psychosis regardless of where the psychosis is coming from. The human mind is amazing, our perception becomes our reality, even when our perception is false.

 

[Cosmic Trigger]

Humans are meaning making animals. We are not in the know because we are not the creator. Plus we are very vulnerable to death. So anything we don't understand we may find threatening. Especially things that stress us. I think that's why we made up the gods and myths and a million other unverifiable things we tend to believe in. If it doesn't make sense we will try our best to make sense of it. It's a survival thingy. You're not alone. I think we all do it on a daily basis but usually don't notice it until things get weird.

 

[Asclepius]

So this is kind of a long story, but I would like to know your opinion about it.


To give you some background context, I already had 3 psychotic episodes in my life, in all of the times I got prescribed some pills to handle it the syntoms, like Invega, Zyprexa and Olanzanpine.
In the first two episodes the doctors told me that the cause was drugs like weed, but after the second I stopped doing any drugs, only drinked alcohol once in a while, according to them the third episode
was triggered by a huge amount of stress (I was having at work on that time).
This last episode was last year (2017) in April, I was in pills till September and then I stop taking it by my own will, even against doctors support, just because I always hated these kind of pills negative symptoms
like zombie feeling, no motivation, depression, slow thinking and weight gain.
The thing is that I start to think globally in all my life and my thoughts, even before the first episode, I start reading a lot about some spiritual stuff, like Law of Attraction and so on.
I think that my had triggered everything, I started giving and finding meanings to everything that happened in my life after those readings.
While I am on medication I am so zombiefied that I don't think on this things, on sings of universe and stuff like that.
But know it started happening again, I am starting to find meanings to stuff that I find and visualize on my daily routine life, and maybe thats something indicating that a new episode may arrive.


The point I am trying to make is, what is this thing that always happened to me?
Why do I try to find meanings to everything, why do I look for signs? how this happen? is there anything spiritual related to this? Like Universe giving me signs of something?
Or its just the disease shouting out loud?


I would like to read more about this, if this a well known process in human mentality or something, you know?
You may not relate to this, but if you do, can you give me some insights on what is happening to me?


What help can you give me about this?
If by any chance you need to know more details about the signs or anything just tell, I would really appreciate any help on this!

Mate, if you have had three psychotic episodes - stay clear of substance -INCLUDING ALCOHOL - this is NO reflection on you - just for self preservation; life is SO fucked up and if you cant be on your A-Game to fight it - you wont thrive.


You may be able to indulge in substances; when you are better habituatied to yourself - but why the fuck would you want to weaken yourself, to a world that has many, antagonists - keep yourself strong- be you - build yourself up and stop conforming to the rhetoric of the concensus on those who are lost.

We all have inhibitions.

If you want to see the big-picture logically- you cant ( its a mix of logic and irrationality - so, bets are off - however, you may have a keen intuition but even then - nothing is under our control, mate.) Seeing/perceiving patterns are a normal sign of intelligence (wrapped up in human intuition - these are survival mechanisms; not talked about in popular media - but they are normal albeit not everyone has keen senses in these areas)
Life is dynamic - no one can predict circumstances exactly but we are primed to apprehend outcomes ( some of us are more hyper-focused on these these signs - not abnormal - just hyper-aware ( this is a good thing - if you have people around you that understand and dont make you feel like a freak )

If you are slipping into delusion - please stay the fuck off substances and talk to a trusted friend/ professional - to talk about your feelings to - please be patient and kind with yourself; your thoughts/ideas and feelings - YOU sound like a great, intuitive artist in the making(who has been stranded with no road of expression )

Please, engage in logic; insofar as it can help you communicate with those who require, straight answers; however, for yourself, keep your imagination/perception and curiosity and hone it toward art; music and anything else that you can propel yourself toward in order to express how you are; who you are - be smart; keep the most colourful parts of yourself and channel them in to something wothy of you someday. Please train your mind toward toward being rational - its a crazy world with crazy instruction and you need to build a solid foundation in your mind (to give you the strength to explore, with safety, the rest ( discipline will give you the key to freedom of mind, my friend).

http://www.philosophybasics.com/branch_logic.html

 

[invegauser]

@Asclepius: perfect. thank you.

@MisterTi: after our talks and going through some similar experiences in life this is what i could not tell you but wanted to, the poison got in the way. i'm thankful Asclepius shared these words with you. please heed them well.

 

[Xorkoth]

Awesome post Asclepius.

 

[lazydullard]

I saw a lot of omens when I was still getting high. When I'm on psychiatric medicines I see almost no omens.

I think that I was making up a lot of the omens when I was getting high. I've been hospitalized for psychosis 3 times.

I recommend getting sober and taking the pills. If it's really omens you're seeing, they'll still come across while medicated.