This summer I went to a psychedelic trance festival called psy-fi. Something happened that changed my life. or atleast my view on communication.
I didn't have any acid with me so I asked around and got some at the festival.
the acid I bought was 200ug, twice the amount I had before but it took me a while to get hold of some so I thought it was okay
I remember going back to the tent with 2 friends when I started feeling the acid. straight away it felt chaotic and uneasy. walking back to the dancefloor I had so much input from the festival goers around me and the vibe of the festival itself it started to become increasingly more chaotic. Luckily there was a psycare area where you could go if you were having a bad trip. I went there and laid down while a woman tried to calm me. she offered me to be alone for awhile which I agreed to because of the extreme amount of input of the festival. But when I was laying there a sexual unpleasant feeling would come creeping up. Scared of offending anyone with this energy I left the tent and went to the main stage.
I went to sit next to a tree watching the main stage in solitude. after some time I was communicating with the stage. the cloth decoration moved in sync with my thoughts soothing me and telling me it is okay. I felt an enormous bliss wash over me in this moment. I remember everything going in sync as the music was building up. all the people went back from the stage to create what seemed like a stage-wide mosh pit, a gust of wind blew over the tall grass in front of me matching my thoughts. In that moment the awakening happened. I felt an incredible energy flowing through my entire body. It was the most intense beautiful feeling I ever felt.
But after it happened I felt a wave of shame protruding my vibe. I was afraid I had sent a sexual vibe to all people on the festival for some reason. It was so intense I decided to go to my tent and try to sleep.
Walking alone to my tent it seemed like everyone was aware of the brain waves I had sent and were making unconscious comments about it, shaming me for what I had done. But when I approached the very same people asking them what had happened to me they were kind and unaware of what happened. while this was happening I saw a grid forming in my vision which displayed my vibe. whenever I would think of anything negative the bottom of this vibe grid would light up and hurt me. sometimes to the point of me falling to the ground in pain.
being in this mental state trying to get to my tent wasn't easy. because the grid would dominate my vision and I was trying to not hurt myself by dodging the negative thoughts. after a long time, I realised I was lost and asked some people where the main stage was so I could get back on track to my tent. They offered to go with me to find my tent which was really the kindest thing I've ever experienced. not only because of the clear-minded help but also because it took my focus away from the bad thoughts.
However, these guys were not Dutch. sometimes one of them would speak out my thoughts IN DUTCH. which confused all of us. I started to get very worried but they would soothe me and get me back on track.
The thing is, after this experience the grid never left especially when smoking weed it is strong. If there is some tension in me, whenever it resolves it has an effect in the outside world. Most often this affects my roommate. But it has also affected people outside my house. One night when I was overthinking something and I let it go. a person who lives next to me screamed in terror.
my question is, am I going crazy? Or has anyone experienced something like this?
thoughts on ever using psychedelic substances again?
I didn't have any acid with me so I asked around and got some at the festival.
the acid I bought was 200ug, twice the amount I had before but it took me a while to get hold of some so I thought it was okay
I remember going back to the tent with 2 friends when I started feeling the acid. straight away it felt chaotic and uneasy. walking back to the dancefloor I had so much input from the festival goers around me and the vibe of the festival itself it started to become increasingly more chaotic. Luckily there was a psycare area where you could go if you were having a bad trip. I went there and laid down while a woman tried to calm me. she offered me to be alone for awhile which I agreed to because of the extreme amount of input of the festival. But when I was laying there a sexual unpleasant feeling would come creeping up. Scared of offending anyone with this energy I left the tent and went to the main stage.
I went to sit next to a tree watching the main stage in solitude. after some time I was communicating with the stage. the cloth decoration moved in sync with my thoughts soothing me and telling me it is okay. I felt an enormous bliss wash over me in this moment. I remember everything going in sync as the music was building up. all the people went back from the stage to create what seemed like a stage-wide mosh pit, a gust of wind blew over the tall grass in front of me matching my thoughts. In that moment the awakening happened. I felt an incredible energy flowing through my entire body. It was the most intense beautiful feeling I ever felt.
But after it happened I felt a wave of shame protruding my vibe. I was afraid I had sent a sexual vibe to all people on the festival for some reason. It was so intense I decided to go to my tent and try to sleep.
Walking alone to my tent it seemed like everyone was aware of the brain waves I had sent and were making unconscious comments about it, shaming me for what I had done. But when I approached the very same people asking them what had happened to me they were kind and unaware of what happened. while this was happening I saw a grid forming in my vision which displayed my vibe. whenever I would think of anything negative the bottom of this vibe grid would light up and hurt me. sometimes to the point of me falling to the ground in pain.
being in this mental state trying to get to my tent wasn't easy. because the grid would dominate my vision and I was trying to not hurt myself by dodging the negative thoughts. after a long time, I realised I was lost and asked some people where the main stage was so I could get back on track to my tent. They offered to go with me to find my tent which was really the kindest thing I've ever experienced. not only because of the clear-minded help but also because it took my focus away from the bad thoughts.
However, these guys were not Dutch. sometimes one of them would speak out my thoughts IN DUTCH. which confused all of us. I started to get very worried but they would soothe me and get me back on track.
The thing is, after this experience the grid never left especially when smoking weed it is strong. If there is some tension in me, whenever it resolves it has an effect in the outside world. Most often this affects my roommate. But it has also affected people outside my house. One night when I was overthinking something and I let it go. a person who lives next to me screamed in terror.
my question is, am I going crazy? Or has anyone experienced something like this?
thoughts on ever using psychedelic substances again?