• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: axe battler | xtcgrrrl | arrall

Using drugs and sex to repress emotions after a break up

S

sully23

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 16, 2018
Messages
9
Hello there, I'm new. I'm 24 years old. I was living in France for 2 years, shortly arriving I met the perfect girl, we were living together within a month and we spent every moment together. It was far more intense than any relationship I had previously. Anyway, skip ahead to late October and we broke up, mostly due to a few stupid things I did. I left France shortly after. I have been abusing drugs and sex ever since. I can't get over her. No other girl that I've been with since compares to her. It has never taken me this long to get over a break up.

I have been abusing opioids and valium to try and numb myself to forget about her. I've been hooking up with girls I have no feelings for in hope that I might be able to find that connection that I had with my ex. She has a new boyfriend now so there's point fighting for her. She told me herself that she doesn't love him the way she loved me, but she finds him more stable and reliable.

Has anyone else here abused drugs and/or sex after a break to repress their emotions. If so, what did you do to get over your ex and to deal with it sober and not sleeping around?

Any advice or even just stories to know I'm not alone would be greatly appreciated.
 
Sometimes drugs and sex can help. But only temporary. Don't ruin your life over this .
You know what you are doing. You know drugs will kill you if you are not careful. So please be careful.
If it helps you at first , i think it is ok just a bit. It won't solve your hurt . Only time will heal that wound. I know it's the worst pain there is. It hurts like hell.
Keep your mind occupied, hang out with your friends, vent to them , talk to someone who will listen. Breakups are so hard , but you might discover you are stronger then you think.
But hopefully you are smart enough to quit the drugs before you turn into a junkie. It will happen if you don't pay attention .
It's not worth ruining your life over .
A little bit is ok IMO though.
Sex is ok. Anything to get your mind off the breakup. Hang in there friend
 
Has anyone else here abused drugs and/or sex after a break to repress their emotions. If so, what did you do to get over your ex and to deal with it sober and not sleeping around?
Click to expand...

Oh, yeah.

It takes time. Just time.
I would recommend trying to stick to non-addictive drugs as much as possible, because a break-up is a shitty reason to develop a serious and possibly life-threatening/life-destroying habit.
 
You're completely right. I know exactly what I'm doing and I know it's not a healthy way to deal with it and I realize the dangers. I am still madly in love with her and cannot face the idea that I'll never be with her again, hence the different vices to ignore my emotions. The problem is that while I was abroad, I lost contact with my friends so I have no one to talk to. I agree sex in moderation can help with a break up, but I think when you're having sex with many different girls because you're looking for the same spark/connection you had with your ex, it's like chasing an impossible high.

Thanks for responding. Have a good one
 
I agree that it's a stupid reason to fall into such a serious addiction. You say that it takes time, and others have told me the same but here I am almost 3 months later and I have not started feeling any better yet. Thanks for the response
 
Last edited:
You'll get there.
It hurts, but it does get better over time.
Distractions are good, especially the sort that help you realise that you can have a good time without her being there (which you can)
 
This is how my addiction began. I went from the odd 20mg oxycontin to 300-400mg/day to numb myself then got on any drug I could find and eventually heroin after being fit and healthy my whole life after the love of my life turned out to be someone completely different, kicked me out and found a new guy. Don't ever let someone else do this to you. Sounds like she should have been more considerate and given you a chance. Meeting other girls is a good idea because even if it wont be the same experience it can still be good and improve your life right now in a natural way :) It will get better
 
Hi,

I am very sorry about your break-up with your girlfriend. It obviously has effected you very very deeply.

I think that short term strategies like using drugs to help you cope with this initially is ok, but like the others have posted, you may not want to use this as a long-term solution, or you will be exchanging one problem for another. I do think getting out with others when you are up to it can be beneficial as well. It helps to get your mind off of it for some period of time and gives your psyche a rest.

It might help you more, since it has been 3 months, to do a postmortem on the relationship. This means sitting down and trying to figure out what went wrong - your part, her part, etc. If you cannot do this by yourself or with a friend, a therapist might be in order. Understanding what happened, as well as time, are two of the biggest things that will help you move on and through this.

My best to you for the future.
 
using drugs to avoid feeling is stupid and you know it

keep it up and it will only get harder to solve

of course you will feel shit what you had was a super inttense whirlwind that carried on for years. she is rebound with this guy

did she leave you cos of your drug habit?
 
No, I wasn't even using drugs, not to mind abusing drugs during our relationship. She actually saved me from my drug use.
 
Thanks for your kind words! I'll try doing postmortem as you said. That actually had never even occurred to me before. Thanks for your answer. Have a good one :)
 
I'm really sorry to hear that that happened to you. I agree that she should have given me another chance but i reckon she thought a good relationship never has its hiccups. Well, I agree meeting new girls can be healthy but can also be abused. I feel tremendously guilty after getting intimate with any other girl, i still feel as though I'm cheating in a way. I hope you're over addiction mate. Thanks and best of luck to you
 
sully23 said:
No, I wasn't even using drugs, not to mind abusing drugs during our relationship. She actually saved me from my drug use.
Click to expand...

then what did you do to drive her away?

what are the "stupid things " you did
 
sully23 said:
I'm really sorry to hear that that happened to you. I agree that she should have given me another chance but i reckon she thought a good relationship never has its hiccups. Well, I agree meeting new girls can be healthy but can also be abused. I feel tremendously guilty after getting intimate with any other girl, i still feel as though I'm cheating in a way. I hope you're over addiction mate. Thanks and best of luck to you
Click to expand...
Hey sully23 , how are you getting by ? I noticed you said the girls aren't really helping you to get over anything . And making you feel worse , and guilty. Why are you doing that to yourself then ?
You still love her . I'm sorry , I know how much it hurts . Give up the girls if they are just making you feel bad. Are you trying to punish yourself out of guilt ? Seems like self harm. Drugs , girls , neither is helping ?
You are throwing a fit sounds like. .hey at least you guys weren't together for years . Relationships are risky man. Don't lose your s over it.
You have to let her go . If it means letting all girls go for a bit then do it. feeling like you are cheating even though u are not together really is not healthy . Do what you need to do , to let her go. To say goodbye. Get rid of all the things that remind you of her. That's what you need to do. Not drugs and girls. It's a personal thing within yourself .
It's a tuff time but you will get through it. We all do .
 
I can totally relate to you buddy. I've just split from my wife who I was with for 25 years since I was 14 and my parents were going through a really messy divorce. She was my whole life and best friend . I lost everything. She has the house the kids and even my dog. I am doing exactly the same as you, using alcohol and drugs to numb the pain even though I know I'm just digging deeper. I can't even try get involved with another woman because nothing compares to her. So all I have is drugs and alcohol but you know just like I do this isn't the answer . That lies within us . We need to make more positive life choices and let go to move forward. I feel your pain, but it may take some time and self discipline. You and me both know what we are doing isn't helping. I sincerely wish you all the best.
 
The stupid things I did included flirting with other girls (I never cheated physically) and I never would have but it destroyed her confidence in me. Also, I did not appreciate her enough. She was great and I should have done more to hold onto her.
 
Hey there Yompf. You're completely right. I'm not ready for a new girl in my life. But it is a brief distraction. And it has almost bordered on obsessive. I am constantly pursuing, trying to find one who compares to me ex. I'll take your advice and try take a break a break from the drugs and girls. The idea of facing my emotions really scares me but it must be done if I want to get over her. Thanks for helping
 
Hey Trazadon't. I'm sorry to hear about you and your wife of 25 years splitting up. Whatever I'm going through must be 10 times more difficult for you. And yes, we are in a similar situation. We are both using vices to mask our emotions although and we know it is ultimately not healthy. What we need to do is face these feelings head first to overcome them as difficult as it sounds. Thanks for sharing your story. Good to know I'm not alone. I wish you all the best too and I hope you can stay away from alcohol and get over this and find someone new who you love when you are ready.
 
Keeping busy with other things and maintaining friendships is important!!!!
I got addicted to clonazepam after splitting with my ex (I was already using too much though - although he was an opiate addict and didn't leave me because of drug use). Well it's probably been almost a year since I started being addicted so not looking forward to getting off of it. I also just kept sleeping with tons of guys. Not effective. I wish I could offer actual advice but I did the exact same thing.
Wish I had real advice but keep busy, avoid thinking about her, keep up any friendships or make new friends.
I have to get off clonazepam still but I ended up finding an amazing guy eventually (right after I decided all guys only wanted sex) and I didn't have regular FWB anyway (usually had 2-3 at a time) and had managed to start improving things with my life. I mean, still on clonazepam and still looking for guys to sleep with, but career was better, I had recently moved, etc. so I was getting more on track.
Now I'm in an exclusive relationship and not sleeping around. With a truly good guy who treats me so much better than any other previous relationship. And he knows about my addiction and understands right now it would be very difficult getting off of it (huge project as part of my career) but that I do plan to soon when my part of the project is complete and I can start tapering off and he gets that and will support me in it all so I mean, now I have that plan. It took a long time and I never should have spiralled so deep and I hope you don't because it's awful and hard to get out of and ends up making you feel worse but you CAN do it. You've got strength, I'm sure you can!!!!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top