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EXPERIENCED TRIPPER QUESTIOM: unusual experience w lsd

heyguysitsamy

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 15, 2018
Messages
1
So I've tripped(LSD) more times than I can count. Before this particular incident I'm about to describe, acid has always been a fun drug for me. And just that. A crazy and great time but devoid of the meaning a psychedelic trip can bring you. I never really had those deep thoughts. Of course it happened some times, but never to a deep level. Anyways, this one day I was on 4 tabs of LSD (a norm for me), and I was tripping with someone who was tripping for the first time. We were surrounded with people, I am now aware, emitted a terrible energy and bad vibes. She began having a terrible trip while we were in the car on the way to the beach. We got there and parked and tried to calm her down. I clearly remember the sun setting and watching it , and I began to cry. Instantly a shadow came across my mind , and my very first bad trip began to occur. (Backstory- I don't have a good history with cops and have a huge fear of them -- was on probation at the time) All the good thoughts fell away, and a darkness entered into my mind. I freaked out, and I heard someone say something about calling the cops there becaude was screaming at the top of her lungs, so scared from her bad trip. (I now realize nobody ever said they would call the cops and it was my imagination) I realized how screwed I'd be , as I was on probation and definitely not supposed to be doing acid. I starting running, and the driver of the car chased after me trying to stop me. I screamed "get off me! They're coming" and he kept saying "there's no cops no cops are coming" and I screamed "stop lying to me! I heard him! Get the fuck off me" as he was trying to physically restrain me. I pushed him off me and took off running as fast as I could. I can't remember the thoughts but all I know is they were dark and terrible , swirling though my mind as I sprinted. I wanted to go to the ocean and swim there, as I felt that was what I needed desperately to calm me down. I thought I was running toward the ocean, but was running in the opposite direction, in a neighborhood of these beautiful, expensive houses. Again , a figment of my imagination- I thought the cops were chasing me and i saw cop lights coming up the street. I freaked out and ran into the backyard of someone's house! I started running though backyards and throwing myself over fences and through anything that stood in my way. ( I ducked up my legs REAL BAD). I took my pants, shoes and underwear( and my shirt for some reason?) off to pee in a backyard and a dog appeared barking at me (still not sure if this was real or not). I freaked out and threw myself over the next fence , not taking the time to grab my clothes. I eventually remember everything slipping away and I curled up on the floor, where I was soon discovered by the cops and taken to a hospital, where I was treated for wounds. My legs still have scars and that was over a year ago. ever since then, I've only been able to do a tab at most . Any more , and I go into an extremely strange state. I completely shut down( my friends talk to me and I don't respond ) and I'm quite literally in another dimension with strange things happening (terrible things). this happened twice. The first time, I remember being at a kickback where I thought a guy there was god and I had a conversation with him. Then everyone at the kickback started saying terrible things about me and how they all hated me. I thought I was decomposing and dying. I was homeless. Even my parents didn't want me. The second time I thought I was decomposing again. I thought the car I was in crashed into the ocean and I was just decomposing. When we started driving again I thought parts of me were flying out the window as I decomposed.(this has been ever since that bad trip if I take more than 1 tab- I'm fine from 1 tab but don't trip very hard)- anyways, very recently I took 1.5 tabs. It was all great and beautiful and amazing (we were at the beach ) until we left and we're in the car ( for some reason I always go into the state described before where Im unresponsive to the real world and my friends can't communicate with me - when I'm in a car- why? Im not sure) I felt everything slipping away again and saw bloody faces- but this time there was a thought I was having about self love and I forced myself to hold onto that thought - I at first couldn't remember it and I started having tunnel vision and I knew I was starting to go back to that state, but I fINALLY remmebered that thought and I was able to hold on. That trip proved to be the best one I've ever had in my life and I changed my life for the better because of it. I had so much insight; so much understanding and so much connection . It was beautiful. Anyways I don't even know what my question is probably like what the guck was going on with me??????? Everyone seems to think it was ego death but I don't think so, I had a sense of self .
 
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