I feel it yepyep. Always remember what you experience is what you experience. No one has any right to tell you much of anything unless it's warranted, yet helpful/caring constructive cristism or your harming yourself or others that needs to be made apparent. I never really had how I thought in most circumstances personally, if I'm to out there for you, or you choose to judge me over it....well that sounds like a personal problem. My mom definitely knew I was far from "normal" since childhood. I could always feel the disdain when I would refute her common place counter points to mudane human life as a child but my mom was cool enough to respect it because I'm generally good at rationalizing ny reasonings for doing things whilst also letting people know I respect there choice and would appreciate the same courtesy shown to me. I was always very open with her about my drug use. She used to think I was losing my mind when really I was gathering all the broken pieces to rebuild and refurbish it into a more structurally sound and feasible masterpiece of my own volition and creation. Upgrading the needed old. Deleting the useless traits acquired. Etc etc. When she saw how much more functional I was, calm, lucid, empathetic, understanding, knowledgable etc I was she could see the difference. I always related pharmalogical data to her. Healthier than ever. Sure I partied hard but I keep to myself and rarely do bizarre things on drugs outside or really inside my dwelling. That's how the world works. Those who see have the duty to scribe what they've seen to those who can't until they can. Eliminating borders, expanding minds, coalescing. The purpose of my life besides gaining knowledge is to help others reach the places they want or should. My mom survived long enough to see the John hopkins studies, studies on ketamine, MDMA. We watched from neurons to nirvana. I'm eternally grateful for the gifts I've been given in this regard. Life is simple and straightfoward mostly. I don't have time for bullshit. Lies, drama, nonsense? No thanks. We can always avoid it but at some point you end up getting drawn in ocassionally. I keep the people who are worth it, try to guide those who might not be(due to character flaws or past behaviors), and just live here now as myself. Knowing yourself is the key. It's a true gift. If your lost, how can you find your way if you can't even find yourself? If you don't know yourself, how can you know anyone? If you don't know yourself, how can you know anything? A falsity built on a falsity can rarely be true right?
Hope your house stuff works out Xork! Also how'd the dawn bird recording go? My mom used to put out many bird feeders there used to be tons. My favorites we're the humming birds. You can get a ton with the sugar water feeders. So beautiful and eloquent. The TNW, reading that surely made my day, made my marihuana euphoria race through the roof! Yepyep, hang in there brother! Reintergration from heavy dissociative use is strange and life is already strange, so now it's doubly strange. At least you have the board and yourself. Reality is what you make it mang, literally. Consensus means not when you don't follow the consensus. Your the best judge though. Your you and no one else is. Take it from someone whose consumed far to many drugs and already had an off kilter mind. Me personally I can't wait until I can grab some O-PCE. PCP is cool but I do my best work in long term mid range holes. Holing hard enough to be in another reality yet not too amnesiac and remain myself. Like being immersed once again to a cocoon of growth and expansion. Swiller, I like dem tunes, keep 'em coming!
's my friends.
I agree with your sentiments for sure.
In reality it's not good, so I'm glad he wasn't thorough.
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
But everyone does it sometimes. As long as they're not the norm, sometimes they're just growing pains.
