Going Clean on Jan 15th need some support

[Shiftie]

Here is my "Getting to know you" thread in case people havent seen it, it gives a bit of my back story.

Hi everyone,

It is a pleasure to meet you all. You can call me Shiftie. I am a 41 year old married father of three, and also have custody of my niece and nephew.

My health history, as well as history with narcotic pain relief is long. I contracted Ulcerative colitis when I was 17. Had my whole large intestine removed at 21 for which I was on Percocet for a few months while everything healed.

When I was 29 I found out I contracted Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis. This is an autoimmune disease that attacks the bile ducts, causing them to become inflamed and scarred. Once they get scarred enough bile sludge gets caught in the little pockets the inflammation and scarring creates forcing bile back into the liver causing damage, and eventual liver death. Most of my time with this disease I was given Dilaudid, and Fentanyl.

Fast Forward to May of 2017. I had my first liver transplant. My body began to reject it. With hours left to live my doctors found another liver, and I was transplanted again 4 days after the first transplant. During the second transplant, I caught a bacteria resistant infection throught my abdomen, that took 2 months of suffering to get through. Again during this time I was on heavy doses of Dilaudid. from May until now I have been trying to get off the Dilaudid, as I no longer need it, and have only been taking it to keep withdrawals at bay. I just dont have the self control to taper off using Dilaudid so this week I start on either Suboxone or methadone.

I was told if I wanted to go on Suboxone that I would have to be three days in cold turkey so I didnt trigger something like precipitated withdrawal I think it is called. After doing some reading it looks like this would be the best choice for me.

I want to thank you all for your time reading this, and look forward to getting to know you and using these forums as a tool to meet you all as well as comfort getting off this dilaudid.

Cheers all,
Shiftie.

I am scared beyond belief of the withdrawals. It got to the point I was doing around 80 mg of Dilaudid in a 24 hr period. Alot of times via IV.
On monday I decide on the suboxone route, or methadone route with my tapering physicians help. I have tried to do as much research as possible but would like to hear some personal opinions and stories on the two drugs and which one you feel I should go with.

As well I am open to answering any questions any of you my have.

Once again nice meeting you all, and I hope to start a healthy dialogue here. I apologise that the post is somewhat short. Am just going through a bit of withdrawal right now. Take care all, and enjoy your weekend.

 

[Trazodon't]

I would choose sub over methadone. Methadone is in its self fairly recreational and hard to come off. Sub is anecdotally easier to kick. Whichever route you take I wish you all the luck in the world. Just take the sub as prescribed and don't abuse it and I reckon you'll be fine.

 

[ClearFreedom]

Best of luck on your decision to make a positive change......I have also experienced some crappy health issues that made me a oxy addict. Day 5 CT for me...yes it's hard but after having cancer and a failed spinal surgery I keep telling myself I can do this.

 

[cj]

I would pick methodone over sub because it handles cravings much better. They both suck to come off of so I don't think there's much difference

 

[Trazodon't]

I would pick methodone over sub because it handles cravings much better. They both suck to come off of so I don't think there's much difference

I agree with you that it handles cravings much better but to be totally clean I think sub is a quicker way. I've known people who are methadone dependant for over 15 years. I just think methadone stops cravings better because it is more euphoric. I don't know much about dilaudid the people I know on methadone are heroin users so I guess it's up to the op which he chooses. But I find sub much less recreational than methadone so if you don't have much willpower it can be easy to start to abuse and crave the methadone.

 

[cj]

I agree with you that it handles cravings much better but to be totally clean I think sub is a quicker way. I've known people who are methadone dependant for over 15 years. I just think methadone stops cravings better because it is more euphoric. I don't know much about dilaudid the people I know on methadone are heroin users so I guess it's up to the op which he chooses. But I find sub much less recreational than methadone so if you don't have much willpower it can be easy to start to abuse and crave the methadone.

That's true. I found methodone better for me because it satisfied my need for opiates. That includes the mild feeling I get after dosing every morning.

 

[Trazodon't]

I've just done a quick look into dilaudid. Is it not possible just to taper off this instead of substituting one very strong opioid painkiller for another. Just a thought. Any choice you make leaves you opiate dependant I'm just worried you could end up with more problems than you already have. Have you thought about using subotex?

 

[Tubbs]

I know I personally wish I'd gotten on a methadone program, when I got clean. I had tried suboxone and like cj said it didn't really do the trick. Everyone is different though.

 

[Trazodon't]

Fair enough. But I still see it as trading one drug for another. The methadone programmes in the U.K seem to last a life time. I totally understand your dilemma though as I am benzo and alcohol dependant and like you am just terrified of the wd's.

 

[Shiftie]

Fair enough. But I still see it as trading one drug for another. The methadone programmes in the U.K seem to last a life time. I totally understand your dilemma though as I am benzo and alcohol dependant and like you am just terrified of the wd's.

I have never tried either methadone or suboxone. But I have tried to taper off Dilaudid and just didnt have the willpower, which is the reason for the why I am asking for peoples personal opinions. I appreciate yours. I feel the same way, that I will be trading one drug for another. What I am looking at is do I want to trade it for a partial agonist or full agonist.
I dont have any access to street drugs, I dont even know how to go about getting weed. I am very drug nieve, and would like to stay that way. It just sounds to me, once I reach take home status, that their is more of a chance to abuse Methadone than their is Suboxone. Which is another reason why I am looking for more opinions on the drugs in question. Subutex isnt offered as a choice by the Doctor I am seeing to begin this treatmant. And my goal is to get off everything as quick as possible, without the tempatation of abusing the drugs. From what I am reading it seems easier to abuse Methadone, at least the IV route as Suboxone has Naloxone in it, that if used IV, hastens withdrawals.

 

[Shiftie]

Well that is it I am out of pills. I was for the most part taking 48 mg IV per day as I was being released 12 4mg pills per day. They made a mistake my last refill and gave me 120 4 mg tabs all at once. So I did the math, and it turns out I was iv’ing 30 pills a day so 120 mg per day since Wednesday. I have initial appt with the pain specialist tomorrow but I am going to suffer today and at least most of tommorrow

 

[Alldonewithit]

Look up "my very short term suboxone detox" by rb3b on the drug.com forums (just Google it). Give that thread a read, and see if that's something you can do.

 

[Shiftie]

Today is the day. I guess I wouldnt call it going clean, since it seems i am substituting one drug for another, but at least I will no longer be injecting and will be monitored, and have consequences for any negative actions. I am def ashamed, and mad that as a nurse I let the problem get this far, I should have known better. From Wednesday to saturday I did about 120 mg of dilaudid every 24 hrs, as the pharmacy messed up and instead of giving me 12 pills a day like they were supposed to, gave me 120 4mg pills.. I need to get away from it. Time to start paying my penance I guess.
Alldonewithit I read the thread you suggested, I do not think this would be a feasible action for me, as I have to go to the pharmacy every day to take either the methadone, or suboxone, whichever the doctor thinks I should be on. It may be more feasible once I am allowed take homes.

 

[Shiftie]

Finished my 3rd day on methadone. Started 20mg, 30mg, 30mg, and tomorrow I bump up to 40 mg until Monday. It seems it so far lasts six to eight hours then wd’s start. Just wondering how long until it starts lasting 24 hrs. Hard to believe it will if it is only holding 6 to 8 atm.

 

[oldhippytony]

Just wondering how long until it starts lasting 24 hrs. Hard to believe it will if it is only holding 6 to 8 atm.

My understanding is that dilaudid is generally detected in urine screens for 2-3 days after use. I think the methadone will "hold you" longer (dope sickness won't set in as quickly) as your body metabolizes the Dilaudid while, at the same time, your daily methadone dose is increased. In fact, I think you will begin to see noticeable improvement in how you are feeling in the next few days. Hold on.

Narcotics Anonymous meetings couldn't hurt.

 

[Shiftie]

Thanks for replying. I no longer take dilaudid. I got rid of it before my first meet with the doc, as I thought I would not be allowed them. Then I learn that it was ok to take them during induction to hold off withdrawals. Doc said it was ok but he nor my gp would prescribe any lol. So the wds get somewhat murderous and they happen at night which really sucks. I love my sleep. I can just deal with them better during the day, more distractions.