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qutting suboxone! ( and one hell of a shitty week)

Pickledlemons

Pickledlemons

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Oct 4, 2017
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So I'm not sure where to start. I was doing fent earlier in the week, fri/sat I think. I asked my gf over to help me flush what I had left so I could get back on my subs for my pickup on friday incase they drug tested me. So that happened... several ounces went down the toilet.

Then we got into a fight about something and she thought it would be a good idea to flush my xanax down the toilet. Except she didn't actually check what she was flushing and it was actually my suboxone.

I literally broke down in tears. I had ounces of fent and a week of suboxone and now I had nothing to get me through the whole week. I still had my xanax though so I took enough of that to knock me out for 3 days. Between that and the immodium and the kratom I was doing OKAY. So I go to the clinic today to refill my meds. I only get drug tested once every 6 months so I figured I would be okay. The fent would have long been out of my system and I would get my suboxone refill and next time I saw the doc I would explain what my gf did.
Well thats not what happened. They did drug test me. I gave them my urine sample and they said it was too cold. TOO FUCKING COLD. IT HAD JUST COME OUT OF MY FUCKING DICK. Even if I tried to use synthetic urine.... it wouldn't have worked because it needed to have bupe in it to pass. Anyway I gave them the big middle finger and left. I've already gone 5 days without it....so the worst is over... right?

I have 30ish xanax bars... 80ish grams of kratom, a full bottle of phenibut, 40ish Imodium and i just ordered another kilo of kratom. I figure that should be enough to ween myself off. The good news is i dont have a job right now so I can chill and watch movies for another week and then start getting some excercise.
Please dont tell me to go back to the clinic and get back on suboxone. Its not what I want. I'm tired of being a slave to drugs. I want to be clean.

Any advice would be appreciated. I really dont want to get addicted to xanax but its the only thing that calms my legs down and that is amazing. Thanks
 
... Well you don?t want to be a slave to Xanax/benzodiazepines

Pressed downtime but good luck and, likely will be back...
 
Short term Xanax use imo is way way way better than ounces(?!) of fent. Keep it short. You already past the worst physical part it seems.
rls is always the worst for me. bananas and Epson salt baths (sometimes multiple in a night) help the legs chill out.

Edit: regarding vistaril, it?s helps with anxiety (not rls), can use it to reduce the Xanax amount if you?re taking during day and save the Xanax for sleep help.

pps. It seems you are able to get scripts. Able to ask a doc about getting mirapex for rls? Was given that during a detox.
 
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fuck off with the kratom guys. you think it gets me high after 6mg of bupe and immeasurable amounts of fentanyl. No. it doesnt even keep withdrawals at bay. Even when I took 25 grams earlier today it only helped get me off the couch. Thought I could expect some compassion from like minded individuals. nope. same assholes you find everywhere else.

Now im balling my face off again. So many people in my life dont think I can do it. But I think I can ! You know I was only on heroin for 4 months when everyone in my life told me to go on suboxone. And my doc put me on 6mg! He even tried to put me on more but it made me sick. I've heard lifelong heroin addicts do fine with 2mg but he tried to put me on 8mg for a 4 month addiction.. And now my withdrawals are 10 times worse than they were before.

A little shaky a sniffly nose. Now im for 2 weeks of agony and because a friend of mine suggested a powdered leaf to ease the pain. I'm what ? Not worthy of respect or support? that really hurt.
 
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I'm sorry. You can't hear my voice in that to know that I meant all the Kratom stuff in a teasing way, meant to be friendly. Then I got confused, tried to save it, made it worse. Kind of how most things turn out for me.

I'm the only non-kratom non-opiate abusing user on this board, I think, but I've gone through dozens and dozens of alcohol withdrawals, the hospitilization kind; I know what it's like to be alone and scared and sick, too. So I'd never put down (intentionally) anyone trying to go through this. I've also had a few tapered Librium detoxes, and I'll be the last to look down on any chemical assistance people use.

I was amused because you seem very well supplied for a planned awful time. The kilo of kratom at the end sealed it for me.

I believe kratom is perfectly legitimate; anything is legitimate when you're trying to quit (unless it's objectively harmful). If I lived nearby I'd prepare your kratom for you if you needed help with it.

I support everyone who wants to get clean, however they decide to do it, whatever terms they set.

You can absolutely do it, Pickles, and you can do it eating as much kratom as you like.
 
^ Wow, and everyone was nice.

Surprising. Maybe the Kratom dose wasn?t cutting it!
 
yeah sorry i over reacted to Scrofulas post. I'm out of kratom and freakin out a bit but i think I should be able to make it. I would rather shit my guts out than go back to the sub clinic and admit defeat and go back to daily doses.
 
dont know exactly. its xpressspost so as long as the supplier is on the ball it should be this week. next monday at the latest I would assume.
 
i actually feeel very okay today I am surprised. I took 4g of kratom in the morning and i think 12mg of lope and all ive had is sweats and chills. I drove 2 hours out of town, went for lunch even got laid ( didnt last very long tho) and now im doing chores... I thought it would be another week before I was this functional.

Though I remember the last time I tried to quit subs I felt like I got hit by a train almost a weeek after my last dose. We shall see!
 
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