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8 year relationship ending(shes still getting high)

MAX_DEVIOUS

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 11, 2018
Messages
5
Please peeps, i need some insight and im curious to what perspectives an outside eye may have to offer. Im a 26 year old guy from the boston area. I met the girl who influenced and shaped not only who i am now but how my life turned out about 12 years ago in high school. We got together 8 years ago to skip the b/s and i was already using H by then. After we got together i was able to hid my weekly chippers away from her (i was 18 then) for about a year. She caught wind and demanded to try it. I was with a buddy who happened to be the first asshole (RIP*SUICIDE*) that shot me up when i was 16. I told her as a friend over all else "NO DUDE IT WILL RUIN EVERYTHING" he agreed to give her a shot tho after i told her to leave me. After that night the last 8 years have been mostly a blur. I just wanna skip a long story and get to the point.

I got sober going on a month ago after we've been living apart cause she got kicked out of my moms apartment for overdosing about 6 months ago. i had been getting high maybe once a week and finally got back on subs. I told her she needed to do the same thing, she ended up getting high at the friends house she was staying at, then stayed 2 nights at our friends place on their couch before she got caught stealing xanax red handed and i had to go there to get her to the hospital and try and get her section 35. Here in MA its a civil commitment issued by the courts for someone whos drug or alcohol use puts them in danger to themselves and its mandatory 30 days locked down I was sectioned a year ago so i think its her only shot at a chance of getting some perspective from running around getting high/
I dont wanna go into super detail if no one reads this anyways but i thought it was worth a shot
I snuck her into my neighbors apartment for the night cause she promised she would go in front of the judge this morning and self commit.I told her to be up by 9 so we could walk over to the court house and she didnt text back until noon. backing out of couse/
Im scared shes gonna die and my life here in boston is fucked
I have an offer to travel down to arizona and work on a farm and travel with my buddy. He said he could send me a bus ticket in the next 2 weeks...i wanna go
 
I read your entire post and all I can say is "GO"! Honestly, there's nothing really keeping you there at this point. She's gonna do what she's gonna do and it's pretty clear you can't do much to change any of that. Best thing for you right now is to take care of Number One, and that is You! I realize it hurts to see someone you care about basically fall apart but at the end of the day, you really have little say in the whole matter.

Go go go and enjoy the change in scenery. I hear it's nice down there. At least you won't have snow and cold weather to deal with. OP, please enjoy your life!
 
thanks alot for the words of encouragement. I've been trying to go traveling since i was 17-18 and it never panned out except a few dozen miles hopping frieghts in west MA/ new york border. I'm trying not to block her number but this girl turned from my best friend to someone i dont even know so gradually its only now i can see how deep she dove down. I've been trying so fucking hard to get her into a program or to section herself since we never got hitched and her family is MIA/ i went to the ER..wrote the psych evaluator a fuckin well writen letter saying how she wasnt going to survive then i get a call the next night that she was at the place she got booted from for stealng and she was back at their door scaring there kids. Had to walk over to find out the hospital just released her no problem. Stuck but im literally throwing all my shit away as i write this so i can just have a backpack to bring out with me to AZ
 
Sometimes a change in your environment is good. Are you able to return home in the event Arizona doesn't pan out? That's too bad about your girl but like Beachbum said, you need to take care of yourself first. Maybe she will get herself sorted in your absence.
(I'm moving this to Life Advice)
 
Well since i've been getting clean i've been staying with my mom (whose neurotic and bipolar) and my aunt. My mom got cut off her social security but has been telling me shes losing this apartment in march anyway. i've been throwing out all my shit and gonna sell what i can as a craigslist garage sale kinda thing. I know if i get outta here and away from all the stress i'm under i might have a damn good chance of being happy
 
i dont know if anyones heard of Pat "the bunny" schneewies of Johnny hobo and the freight trains and ramshackle glory. His music has been keeping me sober and optimistic of the pursuit of freedom of being out in the middle of the country and self reliant. "But Well livings a struggle, except when it isnt yeah. I woke up this morning and i wasnt in prison. But i cant promise that im far from it, with friends like you who needs homicide' so many other great lyrics i cant get into it. youtube DIE THE NIGHTMARE
 
Would you like me to move this to TDS MAX_DEVIOUS? You would probably more replies/support in that forum. Lemme know.
 
Hi - man I feel for you because you clearly love the girl, but you need to think about yourself. No one can make anyone stop taking drugs, only YOU can do that, and my hat is off to you, for getting clean as I know personally how tough it is, I've been an heroin addict & a crack addict, so I know the life and what comes with it. Its all shit and you'll do well to stay away from it all. Go to the farm, its a fresh start in a new state. I'm in the UK and freshly released from jail, I've moved back to my home town, having been away from it for 23 years, but the fresh start is doing me the world of good. My partner of 8 years left me for another man just 3 months in to my 3 yr stretch, it killed me at first but I got over it and now here I am, own flat, free from crime and looking towards the future.
My friend, life is very short so you should enjoy yourself whilst you can.
I once went to Gambia initially for a 11 day holiday but I ended up staying there for 2 years, it changed my life. Gambia is a 3rd world country, it has no shops as such, I took ?1500 with me and it lasted me over a year, I rented an apartment for ?40 a month, paid for 12 months up front. What a place and the people so friendly.
Do it man, go travel, live your life to the full and for fucks sake, stay away from smack, its one of those drugs that grabs hold real quick and takes over your whole life, from wake up to bed time, its all about smack, so please stay off it.
Travel my friend, travel
 
from what it looks like you really do care for her..
helping out a person is not always to their liking...
you are currently the closest person to her before she loses everything.
do what ever i takes man even if she dosnt like it..
sit her down and let her know you are there for here..if shes in a reasonable state try to get her to at least try to get better with you by her side.
if that dosnt work i would involve professional help.
Hope it works out ! Stay strong
 
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go on the bus OP

just do something different and get out in the sun you can always come back
 
Get on the bus and go. This sounds like a chance for you to get somewhere that isn't toxic.
 
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