Depressed help me

[Specified]

Please help me ive had such a hard life theres so much hurt remorse pain from things in my life. My childhood was bad i was hit with a belt when i got in trouble at school. It's been almost two years since my father passed away and I'm still hurting i miss my dad so much. One of my best friends killed himself cos he was adopted and couldnt deal with that..he never met his real parents...now im really contemplating suicide but i wanna make sure i kill myself not just wake up in hospital. I dont know if i can kill myself though i know things will get better and my dad is in a better place now. How do i come to terms with my fathers death? I write stuff like 'i miss u so much dad' as a way of venting but it doesn't do much help. Im also overweight and really ugly no guy would be with me. So lonely right now.

 

[BeachBum4u]

I'm so sorry you're having such a tough time right now. You seem to know the right things to say and think but I understand that's not enough sometimes. I'm no expert on these matters but it honestly sounds like you should contact a suicide hotline. They are the experts in these matters and I'm sure they will know how best to help you. Please make a call and give them a chance at helping you. This is no time to not take immediate action. I wish you all the best and please keep in touch.

 

[FnX]

Death of a close person is something that changes you permanently, that's how I feel at least and how I'm trying to deal with that stuff. It really feels like something you just can't accept, but still I feel like I have to. I guess that's sort of why so many people just ignore it, trying to convince themselves they're over it yet when you look them in the eye, it's obvious they aren't over it. Somehow they still manage to march on, don't know the secret to that. Probably shitty consolation with no proper advice but at least I want you to know that you are not alone, no matter how lonely you feel. If the words of a random stranger on the internet have any weight, please don't harm yourself. Trust me, you have unique worth as an individual. I believe that people who have experienced depression in the extreme are the only ones who truly understand the condition and therefore have tremendous power to change the world into a better place where there is less depression and everyone is happier, which is kind of ironic I suppose. Not when hurting of course, hard to imagine changing the world when the ultimate challenge of the week is going to buy some groceries.

 

[Mysterie]

iv been reading a gd book called "The Afterlife of Billy Fingers" which is a true story told by the author about her losing her brother, and also goes into some facets of the afterlife.

i don't really believe we lose contact with people who leave their body in this world. they were in our life and they had an impact on us, who we are is in part shaped by them and their spirit continues to be a part of our lives if we accept them.

 

[rebelmania]

I lost my father year 2000 when I was 14. It never goes away, but it changes into something else. For me the grief is something beautiful, a testament to how much love I had for that person. It might sound silly but I also think of us all being stardust. What we are made of came from dying stars and sometime he and I will be together again. If you think you will hurt yourself I think you should contact psychiatric care so they can help you, maybe you need to be an inpatient while your most acute symptoms calm down.

 

[BeachBum4u]

Just checking in and hoping OP is maybe doing better today. Please let us know how you are and please let us know if we can do anything for you. God bless.

 

[yompf]

I'm really lonely too..
I hope you feel better specified . Don't say you are ugly. That is a terrible thing to say about yourself . And so what if you are overweight. My boyfriend of 3 years is obese just about and I love him all the same .!!. He was always beautiful to me .
You are just feeling down and being hard on yourself.
I'm sorry about your father. I've never lost someone close to me , like a relative . I don't know what you are going through. But please talk to someone . Don't hurt yourself . Don't think about taking your life . We need you here with us.
Please , maybe talk to someone about your troubled childhood ? Get it off your chest . I am so sorry about your father. How did he pass?

 

[chompy]

I am sorry to hear that, I had a similar upbringing with a real strict dad. Hitting your kids is just wrong. I lost him late 2016 and It's been real weird this year just knowing hes not around.

Stay alive for your dad, sometimes when I'm really missing him I'll treat myself out to dinner since he liked to eat o

Please don't hurt yourself, go take a walk or something, I been taking a lot of walks today just to get out of my head. I keep going through the different stages of grief bouncing

 

[Agent Pink]

I used to feel those things. My dad is gone also. Hang in there. I bet you are gorgeous when you dress up. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. When people fall in love with you it is normally because of something that you are, not the way you look.

 

[Mr Boris]

Specified, you should read the posts made by Illegal. You two seem so alike, it's like you're the same person. But we all know that's not possible ?????

 

[Specified]

Back again so just thought I'd let people know I'm ok, I'm good if there were people worried about me.im on anti depressants but they just make me hungry but the way they make my tastebuds feel is indescribable. Do you think there are drugs in heaven?

 

[Drug vet]

I think everyone goes threw shit in their life. I?ve been struggling with addiction for 6 years now and it?s been absolute shit, no one is willing to talk to me nor help me, but I know and always will know that death isn?t the answer. I?ve tried over dosing to end it and I was very close but after that I want to live and I know it. I got a drug and alcohol counselor and it really helped me you should get help you should not try to win this by yourself nor should anyone remember it will get better and have a good mind set, get some new activities in your life to take your mind off of it. It will never be easy but you will get threw it.