antidepressants half working

[mrburns86]

So I've been on Lexapro for a month now. My suicidal and negative thinking has gone down a lot, and I actually feel awake when I get up the morning. But on the downside I feel so blah and not interested in anything. Although I had that problem before also. I was wondering if there are any medications I can add so that I can enjoy playing games and guitar like I used to. I should mention I abused alcohol and cocaine a lot the last few years but am clean now.

I should mention I also abused MDMA a lot, and I think my depression since that time has got to a new low. I have no job, no friends, and I live at my dad's house. I don't care about anything, I have no hopes or dreams. And my doctor isn't very good (I just realized), so I need to come to my own defense here.

Any suggestions on medications I could try, and I can bring it up with my doctor.

 

[sekio]

Try going outside of your comfort zone to meet new people and do some new activities, maybe pick up a new hobby, sounds like you are just missing a sense of novelty. Medications generally don't help in this sort of situation.

 

[mrburns86]

I should have went into more detail. I have a long history of depression, I've ended up admitting myself to the hospital because I wanted to kill myself. I've spent months of my life just hiding away in my room, because I've essentially given up on life. I have zero motivation to even get a job at this point. I didn't finish high school...basically I've failed at everything in my life. I just realized recently, I've totally lost any joy I had for life. I don't laugh anymore, I lost my sense of humour. Does this give you a better picture?

I also have very little social skills which doesn't help my situation. I don't even go to my mom and step dad's house to visit them I'm so depressed. I'd like to give you the entire picture, but I can't even focus enough to do that. Let me put it this way. My mom, step dad and sister are all I have in the world and at this point I can't even enjoy myself going over there. I feel bad going because I'm a downer and it hurts them to see me like this...

 

[sekio]

There's nowhere to go but up from here then Unfortunately there is no magical miracle pill you can take that will suddenly turn your life around, you have to put in effort to do such a thing.

Ask yourself, where would you like to be in your life, a year from now? How about five years? Make a plan and start working towards that.

 

[Tzcatlipoca]

Besides Paxil (paroxetine) which will give you the confidence you need to confront and resolve your problems?

 

[CFC]

I might suggest you have a read of threads in the Mental Health forum, and also The Dark Side. Lots of people in a similar situation. I agree that forcing yourself to do something generally helps build momentum. Allowing the antidepressant more time, and also potentially discussing alternative treatments becomes an option down the road. Counselling and psychotherapy can also be helpful. Good luck!

 

[Cotcha Yankinov]

^Tzcat, I believe OP is already on an SSRI

To OP: While your situation itself sounds like it really sucks and could be vastly improved (and your mood with it), it can be important to combat depression with non-pharmaceutical interventions, namely cardio and mindfulness meditation. Exercise a lot. I understand its difficult to do this in a depressed state, but you can do this if you set your mind to it and keep your eye on the prize.

For many, I think the "prize" is living in your own place with a romantic partner while being in good mental/physical health. I know its hard to start running a crap ton every day, especially if you're out of shape, but it can be instrumental in many for getting the ball rolling and starting to get jazzed about life again.

CY

 

[mrburns86]

Believe it or not I've been meditating for 3 years now. Spent some time in Thailand at a temple too! I really love Buddhism and meditation but when I start drinking or partying I end up slacking off on that. I also do long distance running ,biking and yoga. I think a big part of my problem is I truly don't believe I can have a good life, a wife, kids, house and career. I really don't think it's possible, so I've become bitter and nihilistic. My depression this time got so bad because I think I finally gave up hope, where as in the past I would always have a sliver of it left.

I'm also so far behind in life that I see this huge hill I have to climb and just say fuck it. It's especially hard because my dad and his brother (all live with me), are all the same. Broken, older men who don't see their other kids, drinking problems, etc. It's quite the genetic burden, and I don't know if I'll be the one to overcome it.

I'm also torn on the medication thing too. Before I started taking it I was much more active, the second I got on it I became very lethargic. But at the same time it helped a lot toning down on the negative thinking and such. But I'm pretty sure I need it as I really abused MDMA for a while. Wasn't unusual for me to do a gram of it in a night. I think I really did some damage there...

I'd love to be able to laugh again, enjoy a board game with my dad...be able to socialize with my family and get my spark back. I'm not sure if the medication is helping or hurting. Can you recommend something? add something other than Lexapro. Or a totally different combination.

wow thanks for all the help guys. those other parts of the message board is exactly what I'm looking for. I'll go do some research!

so I'm on the mental health and 3/4 of the threads on their apply to me in some way. I don't know how I ended up on this site, but this is exactly what I've been looking for.

question, is this the best board on the internet for mental health/antidepressant discussion? I've been browsing through the history and I've never seen meds discussed at such a high level so that's what got me to actually post here.

 

[doxylamine]

I understand exactly where you're coming from with this feeling of "blah" and like you'll never truly have a good life. I experienced this on Lexapro and other SSRI/SNRI drugs.

Parnate (Tranylcypromine) worked wonders for me, not just in reducing the negative feelings that come with depression, but also actually allowing
me to go beyond that numbed out "blah" feeling. I also have social and general anxiety, both are not really a problem now. I don't have panic attacks anymore, tear myself up worrying about stupid shit and I've kind of become an extrovert now (though I think I always have been inside, just trapped by SA). I can still get anxious and upset/down about things at times but now it's always over normal things that would, and should, make any human being feel those emotions - we're not supposed to be robots.

With Parnate I basically feel like I don't really have a mental illness anymore, though I'm doing too well to risk coming off the it just to see if I can. But yeah, generally I just feel like the normal, happy-go-lucky 24 year old guy that I probably would've been had I never developed a mental illness to begin with - and it's fucking rad.