Hi my name is Jason- new poster but a long time lurker (but not in a weird way...). I was on suboxone for roughly 5 years- and it worked well! While I was on it I got a PhD, a wife, and 2 younger children. I also started a semi successful company and work as a part time professor. The problem I have is that I have always tried on occasion to break through the suboxone which I was on 12mg a day- recently I went down to 6 mg and I got that urge again. And unforutunately (or fortunately?) I broke through. I began by meeting a homeless junkie who I would split my drugs with and then he gave me his dealers number and I ended up with a 2 gram a day Fentanyl/heroin habit (it is usually fentanyl but on occasion he gets brown H) The reason it was so high is I had to do a lot more to break through the bupe. Obviously its very hard financially to support a 2 gram a day habit (insulfated/snorting) and my other responsibilities are taking a huge toll because I am constantly sick. I have tried to get back on bupe but it just makes me sick even if I am dry heaving and all my hairs are on end and I can't stand the voice of my own children. I want to get back on Bupe but I get so sick and voice in my head is telling me it won't work again because my habit is pretty high (east coast fent is pretty strong- though its not pure fent obviously). I told my wife and she was pretty cool about it- well for what it was. But I am really struggling! I was up all night last night and Christmas is our busiest time all year company wise and I haven't touched dope/fent in 2 days but I am so sick. I took suboxone and they make me feel worse- any thoughts or suggestions? Also, I have a bunch of clonazapem, xanax and neurontrin none of which could keep my eyes closed for a second last night- I feel like such a scum bag to do this to my family on Christmas. At any rate, is my tolerance too high for subs or should I look into methadone do you think? Id rpefer to stay on bupe for obvious reasons but right now I just want to feel like I can manage...thanks for listening!