• TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT

Used Heroin and Fentanyl and Getting back on SUBS

JDGRAMZ

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 23, 2017
Messages
83
Hi my name is Jason- new poster but a long time lurker (but not in a weird way...). I was on suboxone for roughly 5 years- and it worked well! While I was on it I got a PhD, a wife, and 2 younger children. I also started a semi successful company and work as a part time professor. The problem I have is that I have always tried on occasion to break through the suboxone which I was on 12mg a day- recently I went down to 6 mg and I got that urge again. And unforutunately (or fortunately?) I broke through. I began by meeting a homeless junkie who I would split my drugs with and then he gave me his dealers number and I ended up with a 2 gram a day Fentanyl/heroin habit (it is usually fentanyl but on occasion he gets brown H) The reason it was so high is I had to do a lot more to break through the bupe. Obviously its very hard financially to support a 2 gram a day habit (insulfated/snorting) and my other responsibilities are taking a huge toll because I am constantly sick. I have tried to get back on bupe but it just makes me sick even if I am dry heaving and all my hairs are on end and I can't stand the voice of my own children. I want to get back on Bupe but I get so sick and voice in my head is telling me it won't work again because my habit is pretty high (east coast fent is pretty strong- though its not pure fent obviously). I told my wife and she was pretty cool about it- well for what it was. But I am really struggling! I was up all night last night and Christmas is our busiest time all year company wise and I haven't touched dope/fent in 2 days but I am so sick. I took suboxone and they make me feel worse- any thoughts or suggestions? Also, I have a bunch of clonazapem, xanax and neurontrin none of which could keep my eyes closed for a second last night- I feel like such a scum bag to do this to my family on Christmas. At any rate, is my tolerance too high for subs or should I look into methadone do you think? Id rpefer to stay on bupe for obvious reasons but right now I just want to feel like I can manage...thanks for listening!
 
Hi.. I am new to this site also.. I was addicted to heroin,, cocaine, pretty much anything. I went to a rehab last September and I am now on suboxone 1 strip a day,I actually would like to get off of it and go on vivitrol have you ever considered that
 
I take Zoloft and trazadone also , Zoloft for anxiety and depression trazs to sleep
 
Thanks for your response! And welcome (too)! I probably would consider Vivitrol once I tapered off of suboxone, but right now because of having 5 years on sub and a 2 gram a day habit. I am afraid it would make me more sick at the moment; however, I do know people who are on Vivitrol (the shot) and it works for them. Are you thinking of tapering off from the suboxone first? I used to be a huge fan of suboxone (not to sway you either way) because it allowed me to get my stuff together but in the end it did seem to stop working the same way so I am really not sure given the situation if I would still suggest it...
 
Thanks for your response! And welcome (too)! I probably would consider Vivitrol once I tapered off of suboxone, but right now because of having 5 years on sub and a 2 gram a day habit. I am afraid it would make me more sick at the moment; however, I do know people who are on Vivitrol (the shot) and it works for them. Are you thinking of tapering off from the suboxone first? I used to be a huge fan of suboxone (not to sway you either way) because it allowed me to get my stuff together but in the end it did seem to stop working the same way so I am really not sure given the situation if I would still suggest it...
So are you on suboxone?
 
What is your habit? I was 2 bundles per day,, and I went on suboxone no problem,, you don't have to. Be clean to get on suboxone,, I went right on it and it worked. Vivitrol yea you have to be 10 days clean that's my dolemma
 
Iv been through it all trust me!!! I will help you as best as I can just ask me:)

It is 2 grams it is usually what we call fentanyl (a bright white powder very fine almost looks like coke when you taste it it tastes very chemically) but occasionally dope but it's all the same beast

Thanks I'll let you know how the sub transition goes! It's going a little better but we'll see...tomorrow I have to host our big company party!

Good luck getting on Vivitrol- 10 days would be awesome!
 
Ive been on suboxone a week now with xanax and neurontrin BUT ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS GETTING HIGH!! This has never happenedbefore as i have switched between subs and dope many times...i have an apptmt to go on methadone Thursday but really would rather not...any advice? Has anyone felt thus way 7 days into it (physical isgone but the mental is crazy) Any help would be appreciated!!! Thanks!!
 
Yike i relapsed again been using for the past week...notbsure what to do im really at an end here...
 
Maybe methadone would be better for stopping the cravings?

Cravings enslave people. Humans want instant gratification and once you have tasted it, you are conditioned to want it even more. It doesn't even have to be a drug--it could be social acceptance, love, material things...whatever. As long as we are stuck with zero tools to fight back mentally, we stay enslaved. While I acknowledge that these cravings are intense and physical as well as mental, you can still be working on the mental side of things. Something, some pain or faulty thinking about yourself and your life is feeding your need to get high. Can you get to that place and address it? Is therapy available to you?

I can hear the desperation and struggle in your words. I'm so sorry that this is so hard. I think maybe stabilizing on methadone may be the answer for now.<3
 
Thank You

Thank you very much herbavore you make alot of sense...

The problem is the doctor at the methadone clinic wont be back until next week... i guess ill fogure something out im just too old to be doing this shit.

Thank you for your kind words!

Maybe methadone would be better for stopping the cravings?

Cravings enslave people. Humans want instant gratification and once you have tasted it, you are conditioned to want it even more. It doesn't even have to be a drug--it could be social acceptance, love, material things...whatever. As long as we are stuck with zero tools to fight back mentally, we stay enslaved. While I acknowledge that these cravings are intense and physical as well as mental, you can still be working on the mental side of things. Something, some pain or faulty thinking about yourself and your life is feeding your need to get high. Can you get to that place and address it? Is therapy available to you?

I can hear the desperation and struggle in your words. I'm so sorry that this is so hard. I think maybe stabilizing on methadone may be the answer for now.<3
 
You have to wait til you withdraw to take subs or you get sick. You need to lay that h down and the Benzos. Sounds like u got a nice life and its gonna get ruint. As addicts we need to get high. That never goes away. You have to satisfy it some way. Personally when i want to get high i just do a drug i dont really like as well. For me its coke i get high for a few days then im done. Good luck man
 
Similar here I take Prozac for depression and trazadne an 8mgs it just takes time us addicts we want results NOW..
 
JDGRAMZ...Same here wtf going on I'm on day 10..physically ok but mentally just flat..sub's used be good to me now idk I feel like its not enough I'm on 8mgs a day..help me anyone.. Advice?
 
Vivitrol works well but be careful taking other non opiate drugs or you just might try and over ride shot or not get the next months injection. I think there is oral form too.
 
Thank you everyone for your replies! It means so much to know people care! An update...i went on methadone and it didnt take away cravings and i felt like a slave to it so i went a week on took the weekend off then i went on again and now im off again. Went back on dope but i have this week off of work so have been off dope 3 days started subs on day 2 didnt get PWS thank God but I know if I mess this up again I will lose everything! My business which is now falling apart (go figure), my teaching gig and worse of all my wife and kids! I really want subs to work the way they did before - made me comfortable but they arent- Metman111 i am so with you!! Will the subs ever work again or am i doomed to a world of selfishness?? Ihave gone and back of subs maybe 6 times in the past year and think i just fucked myself over....any advice from anyone whos gone back and forth would be awesome. Thanks again!!
 
Thank you everyone for your replies! It means so much to know people care! An update...i went on methadone and it didnt take away cravings and i felt like a slave to it so i went a week on took the weekend off then i went on again and now im off again. Went back on dope but i have this week off of work so have been off dope 3 days started subs on day 2 didnt get PWS thank God but I know if I mess this up again I will lose everything! My business which is now falling apart (go figure), my teaching gig and worse of all my wife and kids! I really want subs to work the way they did before - made me comfortable but they arent- Metman111 i am so with you!! Will the subs ever work again or am i doomed to a world of selfishness?? Ihave gone and back of subs maybe 6 times in the past year and think i just fucked myself over....any advice from anyone whos gone back and forth would be awesome. Thanks again!!

What dosage of subs are you taking currently that doesn't seem to be working for you?
 
Hi Mike! Over the past 8 months I have tried all different induction methods- first i waited 12 hours and did 12 mgs and it put me in pw a terrible experience...went 7 to 10 days and eventually went back after having no energy then i tried on thanks giving and took 8mg after 14 hrs again pws and again a week to 10 days on 12-16 mg again no energy and then the week before Xmas i pushed through cuz we went to fl i maintained on 8-10mg. Came home and went on methadone for 2 weeks realized id lose my jobs if i stayed on for too long due to them making me wait 2-3 hours almost everyday waited 3 days then jumped back on subs which again put me in pw. Been trying eversince. Now this last time i waited 36 hours took 4 mg at 1 mg every couple hours. Yesterday day 3 i took 8 mgs but i felt crappy embarassed to say that i used last night didnt feel anything except energy so hoping today ill feel half human but I am so sick of this cycle. I am sorry for the lengthy answer but its been a long process on alldifferent mgs. Also i have a 2g fent/h habit snorting. Should i try higher doses do u think?
 
Top