• TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT

Used Heroin and Fentanyl and Getting back on SUBS

What a great analogy herbavore! Thats how I feel and perhaps CBT would be helpful. I think I do need to re train my brain to deal with not using. That being said I have been still trying to regulate on suboxone-. Things are getting bad financially and I can not afford to keep using. Also, I feel like a failure as a dad and a husband. I know those feelings arent gping to help me but I still do... I wish my love for my family was enough to get me to stop but it isnt even though it should be. At any rate I need to go to work now...thanks for reading.
 
JDGRAMZ - Can't really help you, but I want to tell you, I have done it, I quit opiates with the help of Buprenorphine (Suboxone, Subutex) quite easy. And not only once ...
I reduced my dose slowly, slowly and it worked perfectly for me, also dad, husband and owner of a small company that time. In the end, yes, I had these fucking aftermath-feelings, but they where much more endurable compared to the "normal" hangover after a fully suffered turkey. Also I know a quite large number of people with the same experiences. Bupre is the best stuff to get out of the vicious circle.
With other words - also you can do it. Just do it and it will work !
Take care, best wishes from the heart.
Cheers

[edit] PS: CBD can be helpful, but don't expect too much during the "acute" phase.
 
Back to trying again...i messed up went on a week run but need to quit...need to get on subs Please God let it take this time....
 
24 hours down...im a bit lethargic and no motivation but at least im done with today...the first 24-48 are the toughest for me. I took 1mg of sub i really dont want to get pw so i may take another mg in an hour...i have to work tomorrow literally from 6am to 9pm so hopefully that will help...
 
JDGRAMZ, this is my first post. I just read your story and wanted to reach out to you. Just wanted to let you know there's someone out here rooting for you. I hope you're hanging in.
 
I wish i could encourage you beenbetter but i think we are both at the same point- we want to beat this (MORE THAN ANYTHING) BUT the subs dont work the way they used to and if we cant get rid of urges or at least to a place whete they arent constant theres little hope of recoverey. Have you ever tried methadone? I did for 2 weks but if i stayed on it i would have lost my job (s) one of the few positives in my life right now (actually i have quote a few pisitives and still cant beat this thing) i wish i could get methadone prescribed becuz i cant stand in line for 3 hours every morning...i need a new approach im thinking trying tramadol detox yo get back to subs..its Its like methadone though much less intense all i know is this is not working ive tried it too many times and it doesnt work so i need to try something new...also i have a pit in mt stomach that i wont suceed and that theres only one way out....i pray im wrong and that magically my body will takes subs. Also if i had a week or 2 off i know i could get on subs again but i work everyday (literally ) i have a weekday job and a weekend job- actually thet are both full time jobs with part time pay so yeah goid stuff!!!
 
Thank you SM honestly i just read your pist after mine and it brought me to tears just to know im not alone...addiction is so lonely and so thank you for that and using ypur first post to encourage me. It means more that i can even express ...
 
I haven’t tried the methadone it know it would work.
just scared shitless over here. I’ve pretty much lost my job notreally but I have t been working Because I’m so sick all the damn time. So depressed it’s unreal.
 
Hey JD, Love your story. Hang in there. You can do it!! I have been on fents in the past.. Today, it's oxy and dilly. I feel as you feel.. can perform better on them. But this wasn't always the case... I could perform good without them.. but once I started taking them, then I needed them to perform. I have been white knuckling it myself, and I have made headway for sure.. weaning off very slowly. But there's more to it than just the substance. Why do I feel like I need the substance? Why can I be me and let the world see who I am without it? I don't know.. That's why I have decided to go into a clinic where they deal with this every day. From the sounds of your life, it would be pretty tough to put it on hold, and I felt that way about mine, being a mother and all.. but I finally decided that there is no way out... death.. really is it for me. there is no more highs.. there is only relief from withdrawals. For myself, I want to learn to love myself and my life without using anything to mask the bad. So I am heading off to the clinic and putting it into their hands, and I will remain there for 42-90 days... with little to no contact with the outside world.. It was so hard to admit this to the public.. I feel shame. But I am teaching myself that my purpose is to overcome this with help so that I may go on to help others who are suffering and to give them hope. Anyway, I tried to send you a message, but I am only a greenlighter, so I couldn't lol I will try to message you when I return though because like others on here, I am really rooting for you <3 Good luck with everything!! (sorry for the long message... anyone else suffer from writing-long-messages-syndrome while on opiates?)
 
Good luck in treatment kelly! I am still running and i know i need to stop ...i have all the reasons in the world to stop and yet i let this destroy my life...i have a g left will finish up and then im done...i have to be...i am so sick of feeling sick...
 
I went on a 3 week run and things went south again. Today is my first day AGAIN...24 hours without dope/fent. i got a bunch or tramadol to help me feel somewhat better. Im still very close to losing everything my job, my company and worse yet my family. I wish I had some great advice but im not sure what to say im in a rough plac3...beenbetter how are u doing?
 
Bout the same buddy. I did good for a cpl weeks. Was miserable but on sub only. Wasn’t taking enough. Only fallen off the wagon last couple days but it’s been a pretty hard fall. I’m gonna spend the weekend with the kids and then start on Monday at my moms. Not yet sure if I’m gonna try and get stable on subs or straight ct this shit and get it over with. I think about you and ladyh a lot cause our situations are so similar. ESP mine and yours!!!! I mean fucking identical. I know we can do it, it’s just so damn scary. Idk why I am weaker now that I’m older but I wanna watch my kids grow up. Somehow I’m gonna get clean. Even if I gotta go rehab. My family is all I’ve got. I can’t do them any damn good as a fucking junkie. God I hate that word.
im gonna do a lot of praying. The only time I’ve ever really kicked and meant it, I leaned on God all day every day. I want my old me back.
 
Amen to that! Im on hour 36 of sub transition but I can relate to everything you say. Failing is not an option and i feel the same way when I was younger i could bounce back easier but now i just cant. Please keep me updated on ypur progress and ill do the same. I feel like shit but i know im 36 hours closer to feeling better..
 
Definitely man. What part of the USA u in?
Im gonna send u a msg. 36 hrs is great!! I think the biggest problem with me is the timing of all this. I’ve never been so depressed since I lost dad. Another thing is if I could sleep on the subs I would Have a much greater chance of becoming stable but just barely ever get any sleep on them. I think I used to sleep a lot less when I was stable on them also.
 
I accidentally sent a message and cant send another one for 180 min now. Im from the East Coast area...the fent is crazy its totally changed the game.
 
Well i got so sick yesterday i drove and grabbed a 1/2 g... the "good" thing is my wife now knows i told her everything and so now I will have alot more accoutability...i e no money, car or phone (willingly on my part of course). i have some trams that work ok for me (Im still super sick but can at least function a little better). I just cant keep doing it. Beenbetter i dont know why we cant seem to get past it this time. It could be age...i was on subs for 6 years and did great but now they just dont hold me. I did get on meth clinic but got off becuz it would have cost me my 2 jobs BUT that can work if you have access to it. I just cant get inducted on the subs for whatever reason. And bert it doesnt make it any easier to know its a deathwish ...
 
Easy on the guy Bert. Stick to rapping and being a thug.
you got a death wish also?
thought you said in your other posts you were Iv?ing fent and popping Xanax.
Try and keep your head up jd. somehow we can do this.
 
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