Mental Health Mdma Abuse - how do I recover? will this be permanent?

[Mc greyballs]

Okay so I’ve taken mdma on these occasions

febuary - 2016 2 days in a row (half a pill 100mg) and next day full pill (200mg)
may - 2016 once (1 pill)
August - 2016 one day(2 grams of mandy/mdma crystals) (didn’t feel like mdma sent me into psychosis)
april - 2017 (1 pill)
may - 2017 (1g of Mandy/mdma crystals) got aphasia symptoms not being able to find my words as well. Anxiety made this worst.
august/September - 2017 ( 3 nights of taking 1-2 pills each all in week spaces at least) aphasia symptoms got worse, memory problems also, general not much clarity in communication.

Ive stopped taking mdma now that I’ve realised it may well be the cause of these symptoms. When I don’t have any anxiety it’s a lot better but I can’t remember the last time I had clear thoughts without thinking “is it going to happen” and “ah fuck it happened again” and constantly worrying about it, which is not making it better at all.

How will I be able to recover from this? Eating healthy and exercising? Is this going to be permanent? I really don’t feel as sharp before and the anxiety is making it worst than it really should, but what can I do to help this?

When I drink alcohol it’s a lot better and when I get on cocaine I don’t notice it at all and become quite clear with my thoughts and memory etc... (I only drink and get on cocaine when I got clubbing, it’s not frequent use)

im also on 100mg of amisulpride (an antipsychotic) to stop me from hearing voices.

i know my mdma usage was ill advised so I don’t need a preach about that if you can stop yourself.

any advice is greatly appreciated

 

[Mc greyballs]

Be as brutally honest as you can, I’ve beem through a lot and can certainly handle this. I just want to accept and move on rather than dwell on this. Many thanks

 

[Binding_Affinity]

So I believe amisulpride is for schizophrenia, correct? From my understanding, schizophrenia is caused by excess dopamine and low serotonin. You said you had two weird episodes from pills you took in May and August/September of this year. I'm thinking what you took was cut with a bit of meth or just amphetamines, which primarily focus on dopamine release. If that's the case, then the simple solution (if you were to take it in the future) would be to test your drugs before taking them; this isn't to say the mdma itself isn't the cause of the problem, though.

But anyway, as for bouncing back, I think part of your issue is being anxious about it. Obviously, you can't just stop being anxious about it, but start trying to approach this differently. Instead of thinking, "fuck, it happened again," just think, "oh well, moving on." It seems to be on your mind a lot and all I can suggest for now is to try and decrease how frequently you think about it. I don't mean to downplay your anxiety, because I definitely understand what that feeling is like, but much of your anxiety is just building on itself, meaning that some of your anxiety is really unnecessary and without purpose; it exists simply because you're anxious. I think trying to lower the amount of anxiety will not only directly cut down how anxious you are, but other anxiety you have caused by anxiety will cease to exist. Sorry if that doesn't make sense, I'd be happy to try and explain it better in a pm or something.

Accept that it'll be there (not permanently to this extent), but know that the brain is an amazing organ in that it can repair itself. I would definitely make sure you watch your diet, maybe look at supplements that encourage brain health like fish oil. But I think the biggest thing for rehabilitation, if you will, is brain stimulation. I'm not an expert, but for your specific symptoms, I'd say do a lot a of reading. Maybe read to yourself out loud sometimes? I hope you feel better!

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

MDMA, from what I've read and seen, can really do a number on people, even not after a binge. That said, alcohol and cocaine may only temporary make things feel better. They in the end will make it that much harder to face reality, when it inevitably comes.

 

[Cotcha Yankinov]

It sounds to me like you've got a lot of anxiety that could be slowing down your recovery. I would try to practice mindfulness meditation and apply it throughout the day.

People certainly do recover from MDMA abuse, but it takes time, slow and steady. Depending on how bad the adverse effects are, a year or two to make some real headway isn't unheard of, but people who have primarily anxiety based symptoms can recover much faster (their recovery can be sporadic).

Cardio and mindfulness are two critical aspects of recovery in my opinion. Make sure you're getting as much sleep as you can, especially if you're still having issues with hearing voices and such.

 

[cj]

You'll recover but it takes awhile. It took a few years for my anxiety to subside after taking way too much lsd and mdma far too often. I was using every weekend for a year straight

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

Cardio and mindfulness are two critical aspects of recovery in my opinion. Make sure you're getting as much sleep as you can, especially if you're still having issues with hearing voices and such.

I'll second this. Mindfulness has kept me out of the hospital more times than I can count. Rigorous exercise can get the energy out of you that you would otherwise not be able to flush out. Good sleep length and quality are a must--they bear so heavily on mental health. Three excellent ideas!