Heroin transition to my prescription

[whathaveidone]

hi guys....im a chronic pain patient and prescribed hydromorphone extended release....

i have been crushing the beads and taking nasally for over a year anyway....when i was really sick from burning through my meds the only thing i could get was H.....

god dammit i wish id never found it....i smoke it and sometimes will smoke a gram in a day along with anywhere up to 48mg of hydro normally 24 at a time....i have enough of the medication left to last a week and i have money to buy H but i do not want to obviously i want off everything.....

my question is this: will i be able to leave the H and transition back to my meds without having to go over 50mg per day?? at first i will still take nasally but i want to get back to oral and then off completely....provided i dont get cut off. what would you do if you get cut off are doctors allowed to suddenly cut you off if youve been on them for a long time?

i can load up on over the counter stuff i am so done with this brutal lifestyle all i think about is making sure i dont get sick....i dont even get high i just need the stuff to stay straight and i absolutely hate it....so unfair i want away from all of this...

please please please help with ANY advice.....i would seriously appreciate anything and like i said this will be the last thread i create. please help i am in dire straights here and just want the old me back again....

i love my family so much and ive let everyone down....i hate myself for what ive become. i work my ass off and take great pride in my job...i do not want to lose it i dont want to lose everything and if i do i dont think ill hang around much longer as i know i wouldnt be able to live with the shame,

so there you go, im literally on my knees begging for advice, encouragement, sucess stories, anything that will help me defeat my demons and stay on a one true path....i want to be happy without any substances...i am alone in this country i dont have anybody (seriously...) so please help, anything is appreciated

ive heard great things about loperamide but after alot of research still not sure how to take it to beat withdrawals so help with that too would be awesome!

thanks to all of you....if i can do this ill be here to offer support to anyone who needs it
i will also like to actively help people in the community beat their addictions aswell....

thanks
​

 

[CTdopeLove]

Doctors in the US will absolutely cut you off completely regardless of how dependent you are on opioids if they believe you are abusing your meds or illicit substances. As for switching back I think you're going to have to suffer through some withdrawal, but I would forget about nasal dosing as you're just prolonging the addiction. Delete the phone number of your H dealer and suck it up and when you think about taking a little more HM to help ease your pain remind yourself how much pain you'll be in if the Dr. finds out and cuts you off cold turkey.

Best of luck with your struggle, sounds like you already know what you need to do so now you just have to find the strength to stick to your convictions and not let opioids control your life.

-CTdopeLove

 

[whathaveidone]

thankyou for telling me how it is with no bs....you are right....my worry is i work an extremely physical job an absolutely cannot miss any time there....any advice on that one? should i try taper the H till end of the week at least? or just do it NOW - just trying to avoid as much pain as i can im so ashamed of myself.....im much smarter than to be in this mess.....ugh simply put i am a dickhead.....i despise being a slave to this and i do have willpower but if im fkded up WD at work i will be in a bind for ssure

thanks again

 

[tacodude]

Tapering isn't the worst issue just know opiates can show up for even 2 weeks on a drug test depending on what kind. If your pm sends your urine to a lab they will likely find out about your usage. If that happens as the above said you'll be cut off fast. I already said more on the topic of drug testing that I should I'm just warning you that it can show up for a long time without trying to say anything specific as I can't give you an exact window.

Anyways onto tapering if you could reduce that gram by 100 mg a day you'll likely have less trouble than jumping off, but I suggest you try jumping off and just be prepared if you can not handle it so you don't go into your hm, which is very short acting compared to h so you'll probably end up dosing more often too.

 

[Jekyl Anhydride]

All of the above advice is very sound but I have another possibility if your open minded. However the Heroin goes whether through a taper or just outright tossing it your going to want to get everything out of your HydroM as possible for at least a little while till you stabilize. While I would never suggest going to a needle I would suggest going to a syringe without a needle and plugging the HydroM. It might not be a huge increase in Bio Availability but the general consensus is that it's preferred over snorting by everyone who is open to plug. If that's just not for you then making up a saline (0.9% ) solution with the HM in it and put into a afrin / nasal spray bottle would gain a slight advantage even though it requires smaller & more frequent dosing.

Loperamide is shady stuff and only effective for a day or so before the risk becomes prohibitive. Like the absolute last resort after the Kratom runs out.

 

[whathaveidone]

i would love that as i hate the residue left in my nose after snorting it lol....ok maybe love is a strong word but how would i plug the beads exactly?? i crush them to sniff so i imagine crush and mix in water and plug?? i will research it online also but if you know better id rather hear from you. does it last longer and will it stop me from being sick etc?? how would the saline solution work and why would that be an advantage?? thanks so much for your input its very much appreciated. one more thing. as i jump off H can i use regular lope doses to stop stomach upset etc or will it block receptors so i wont get the full effect of my meds?? like i said i dont get high i just dont want to get sick!
thank you so much Jekyl

 

[Jekyl Anhydride]

With beads it's best to crush and let them soak for a good while for either plugging or spraying. Lope is fine up to about double the recommended dose but exceeding 20mg is where it becomes shady and will do very little with fully central acting opioids already on board. It's only decent use it getting through a day or two when you think you're going to die and have nothing in your system. People have gone to the hospital from wildly varying amounts of the stuff so best to avoid until your ready to do something reckless to end the agony.

Give these a look over and feel free to PM me if I can clarify anything. (just click on my name then private message)
Or post back here and I'll see it on my subscription list. I'm in a slight crunch for time right this second but I'll be back.

http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/482108-Dilaudid-hydromorphone-MEGA-THREAD-and-FAQ

http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/206901-Official-Rectal-Admin-Plugging-Thread

Oh yeah, Welcome to BlueLight!

 

[whathaveidone]

am i going to be in this much agony??? i mean surely 50 mg of hydro per day should be enough to keep me good.....i wasnt doing 50 mg of it while smoking the H but i did end up with a pretty nasty habit i have had a couple day gasps in there but not very often....im really panicking here am i going to be hurting that badly just dropping the H and going back to the hydro??

thanks

 

[tacodude]

Don't panic it will make withdrawals worse. Just be prepared for worst case scenario

 

[whathaveidone]

oh no....

 

[Jekyl Anhydride]

It's a step down but not a cold turkey so rough...maybe, but agony is probably a stretch. I would put a little work in now and soak 16mg of HM in some bottled water (like 5-10ml) and think about plugging 3x a day. And / or maybe getting some saline nasal spray which already has the 0.9% NaCl in it and some benzaklonium chloride to keep it fresh, them using 5-10ml of it with say 24-32mg of HM and custom tune a dosage that your comfortable with by adding more HM or saline solution, season to taste if you will.

I did some testing and came up with a very rough dosage guide... If I crush 24mg of dilaudid into 10ml of water, it comes out to approx 1mg of dilaudid per every two pumps of the spray (based on how many pumps you get with 10ml of liquid from this bottle).
I'm sure most pump-action bottles (not do it yourself squeezers) would give similar results.
Generally, it takes about 4 pumps - or 2mg - to ease my withdrawals for a couple of hours.
Once again, if you're a daily user of hydromorphone and need a discreet way to dose, this is a great solution.

https://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/502801-How-(and-why)-to-make-your-own-dilaudid-nasal-spray

Anyone who says these don't work good plugged is LIEING. Im prescribed 100 4mg Dilaudid's a month (which im again filling tomorrow, hell yeah) for Chronic Prain so i'm pretty sure I'm very used to them and rhoutes to take them and actually make them work. Mixing them with cold water in a needless syringe and placed in your rectum and shot enema style produces the best effects I can get from Dilaudid by far besides IVing them. It's the only way that relieves my page and I've actually even caught a nod on them that way. Orally I hardly feel them. My dosage plugged is 12mg's+ and I DEFINITELY feel it quick. Real quick

 

[whathaveidone]

wow thats a great idea thankyou for that!! could take to work and that would help....wow seriously thankyou

really cant afford to lose everything....i panic easily

 

[HoldBack]

I don’t think you are going to have that difficult of a time switching back over; that is quite a bit of Hydromorphone you have. It’s not like you’re trying to switch onto hydrocodone.

That being said, making sure you don’t start taking more pills than you should will be a real challenge. I did a lot of switching from heroin to sub (not quite the same) and even more switching from heroin to high doses of lope (I’d strongly recommend against lope it’s too dangerous) and, for me, after 3 days my tolerance completely readjusted.

I’ve tried titrating up with pills and down with h and it’s just easiest and least painful when I completely stopped the h and started on the pills.

I think you’ll be fine to work at very least.

 

[whathaveidone]

thank you for that im lying in bed here FUCKING SHITTING MYSELF contemplating ending it all and everything i needed to hear that so thankyou.....ive never been so scared....im in a country i dont know with no family or friends i moved here completely alone and now im so isolated because i cannot tell anyone....u telling me il be alrite is what i needed to hear....i will taper this weekend for 100 percent you sure its possible???

thankyou so much, should i take anything with it???

 

[whathaveidone]

im lying trying to get some sleep just took 20 mg melatonin i duno what to do....this weekend i start the full taper challenge back to the hydro....from friday night in work
i will go thru friday without it then fri night after work more hydro sat sun ONLY hydro and i hope to be ok again by monday....i am absolutely terrified if i dont make it i lose absolutely everything and i duno wat il do

 

[BeachBum4u]

I don't know the answer here but I am sure your biggest obstacle is sitting on your shoulders. Yes, your head. Try your best to chill and not let your mind pull you down. Try your best to keep a positive attitude and enjoy the little victories along the way. You can make this happen!

 

[Jekyl Anhydride]

wow thats a great idea thankyou for that!! could take to work and that would help....wow seriously thank you. really cant afford to lose everything....i panic easily

So last night things still sounded positive like you were ready to work on this with a level head.

thank you for that im lying in bed here FUCKING SHITTING MYSELF contemplating ending it all and everything i needed to hear that so thankyou.....ive never been so scared....im in a country i dont know with no family or friends i moved here completely alone and now im so isolated because i cannot tell anyone....u telling me il be alrite is what i needed to hear....i will taper this weekend for 100 percent you sure its possible???
thankyou so much, should i take anything with it???

24 hours later and not so much. Is this anxiety? or did you just begin to get really sick with W/D's? or maybe a panic attack as you realize this is not going to be a walk in the park and will take planning and fortitude to get out of this situation ?

i will taper this weekend for 100 percent you sure its possible???

No I'm not 100 percent sure that it's possible but I'm willing to help you and try to give you the best chance of getting through this that I can but please try to remain calm and level headed as possible as that's paramount to your success.

Maybe start by elucidating exactly where your at with the remaining Hydromorphone and H. At this point are you getting a refill in the next week? Have you come to a decision about acquiring more H or not? Are you going to work full time during all of this? Do you have anything like gabapentin or benzodiazepines ?

 

[tacodude]

It will be a challenge, but just push yourself through it and you'll be ok as long as you don't fall back into it

 

[whathaveidone]

got a prescription of Valium trazadone and gabapentin along with the hydro.....this should be more than enough to help with a smooth transition right??

ty

i wont miss any work armed with all of this just wondering how to take em i guess ive never had the gaba before

 

[tacodude]

Yes specifically the Valium, which works in the same area. Don't continue the use long, but it's not as strong and has a long effect so should be easier to get off

Edit: you might honestly not need the others. Halcyon was known for its side effects and is not used here in the USA anymore. Valium is much more common