Beefy
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 28, 2012
- Messages
- 340
I kind of want to share a bit my story of continuing to remain sober and substance free. I never thought it would be possible when I was deep in addiction, but it has been. I also thought that I would drink as much as I was drinking (2-5 40s a day) till I died. This is how long I've been clean from my substances of choice. For Meth it has been for 21 months, from Cocaine about 16 months, clean from Heroin for about 7 months. I haven't taken any amps in about 2 years I think, was never really into them, but I would take them if they were around. I haven't taken a benzo (Outside of a hospital) for almost 10 months. I was never heavily abusing benzos, but I would take 1-3 everyday for anxiety for about 5 years.
I'm sorry to put all this out there, but I'm 36 and 10 years ago, I never thought I'd go this long without these substances.I started messing around with hard drugs when I was 15.
I feel clear headed now, maybe not as clear headed as I could, since I smoked weed like 3 weeks ago. I've been smoking weed a lot this year. That has helped me quit the hard stuff the most. But I've been taking a break this last month because I have to take a drug test for work. I drink about once a week, and intend on stopping. I suffer from anxiety, depression + BPD and sometimes it helps me feel better.
The joy I get knowing that I'm free from hard drugs is very humbling and sort of smacks me in the face. it's not something I can easily joke about in my mind. I've come a long way and I feel I still have more to go.
When I went to rehab for the first time in 2008, they told me that I there was a possibility I wasn't going to be able to stop ALL the drugs at once or be successful the first time. But no matter how many times you've failed a sobriety, the trick is keeping it serious and getting back on the horse and trying again. And you'll never stop for ANY other reason than YOU don't want to use anymore. You won't be successful cause your PO told you, or because you're mom wants you to stop or ANY other reason.
You have to get down on your knees and give up. surrender.
So little by little, i decreased my use of all, and after a while, I was just using heroin and benzos. then I worked on the Heroin, after I Was successful with use of methadone, I was able to work on the benzos. But I never really abused benzos. so that was easy.
I wrote all of this, in hopes of maybe helping someone. If you're having problems quitting all at once, try taking some out of the equation till you're down to 0. I'm still a recreational weed smoker, but I'm not addicted to that. I smoke mostly out of boredom.
I'm sorry to put all this out there, but I'm 36 and 10 years ago, I never thought I'd go this long without these substances.I started messing around with hard drugs when I was 15.
I feel clear headed now, maybe not as clear headed as I could, since I smoked weed like 3 weeks ago. I've been smoking weed a lot this year. That has helped me quit the hard stuff the most. But I've been taking a break this last month because I have to take a drug test for work. I drink about once a week, and intend on stopping. I suffer from anxiety, depression + BPD and sometimes it helps me feel better.
The joy I get knowing that I'm free from hard drugs is very humbling and sort of smacks me in the face. it's not something I can easily joke about in my mind. I've come a long way and I feel I still have more to go.
When I went to rehab for the first time in 2008, they told me that I there was a possibility I wasn't going to be able to stop ALL the drugs at once or be successful the first time. But no matter how many times you've failed a sobriety, the trick is keeping it serious and getting back on the horse and trying again. And you'll never stop for ANY other reason than YOU don't want to use anymore. You won't be successful cause your PO told you, or because you're mom wants you to stop or ANY other reason.
You have to get down on your knees and give up. surrender.
So little by little, i decreased my use of all, and after a while, I was just using heroin and benzos. then I worked on the Heroin, after I Was successful with use of methadone, I was able to work on the benzos. But I never really abused benzos. so that was easy.
I wrote all of this, in hopes of maybe helping someone. If you're having problems quitting all at once, try taking some out of the equation till you're down to 0. I'm still a recreational weed smoker, but I'm not addicted to that. I smoke mostly out of boredom.
