Hello, I am safia. I have a relationship problem. Actually it is not directly my problem but I am connected to it.So I need some urgent suggestions.I am 55 years old and a school teacher. I had a very lovely small family with my husband and only son.But my husband passed away in 2008.My son was doing very good private job and also taking care of his father's business.He got married.Everything was running smoothly. But God took him away as he met an car accident.It has been almost 2 years now. I told my daughter-in-law to remarry, her parents also forced her to remarry.But she refused. I assured her that her son I mean my grandchild who is 3 will get 80% of my property and remain 30% will I keep to myself and will be donated to any charity after my death.Even I was ready to make the will paper as soon as possible. But she refused all, she won't leave this house or me.She has taken the responsibility of our family business.Our society is very conservative, so many people rold many things when she take the business responsibility in her hand( it is a buusiness of vehicle parts, tires etc.) She is running the business very well. But she doesn't spend money at her own wish. She asks money from me when she needs.However, we thought her mind would change and she will get married. But nothing changed. Her parents lost all hope of her remarriage. I know she is young and I will not be there all life. So I tried to get a man for her, but no result. I even made my mind if she has a boyfriend I wouldn't mind.Our relation is like real mother and daughter. I told her once if she had any boyfriend and she could bring him at home, I wouldn't mind.But she was very angry at that. Now I want suggestion how to make her agree to have a relation again?
My daughter-in-law
- Thread starter senain
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Pretty_Diamonds
Bluelight Crew
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What? I'm so confused...
Why do you want her to get remarried so bad?
Why do you want her to get remarried so bad?
SamanthaB
Bluelighter
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Hi Safia,
I am reading between the lines here from the things you have said, but it seems that perhaps in your culture it is not a good thing if a woman is not married at her age, widow or not. Like one of the previous posters has said, you cannot force this. She has not remarried because, more than likely, she is not ready to do that, perhaps for many reasons. She is running the business, and you both appear to be happy with that, you sound like it is fine with you that she lives with you with your grandchild and she also is not someone that spends money unwisely. It is also possible that her values about remarriage also may not be what yours are at this point in her life. I think it would be helpful if you would take the pressure off both of you and let her live her life the way she sees fit in terms of remarriage. Consider backing off of that issue and enjoy all the things that are going well in your relationship with her. If you don't, you may force her into wanting to get away from you, and I don't think you want that.
I am reading between the lines here from the things you have said, but it seems that perhaps in your culture it is not a good thing if a woman is not married at her age, widow or not. Like one of the previous posters has said, you cannot force this. She has not remarried because, more than likely, she is not ready to do that, perhaps for many reasons. She is running the business, and you both appear to be happy with that, you sound like it is fine with you that she lives with you with your grandchild and she also is not someone that spends money unwisely. It is also possible that her values about remarriage also may not be what yours are at this point in her life. I think it would be helpful if you would take the pressure off both of you and let her live her life the way she sees fit in terms of remarriage. Consider backing off of that issue and enjoy all the things that are going well in your relationship with her. If you don't, you may force her into wanting to get away from you, and I don't think you want that.