harlemspikes
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2017
- Messages
- 239
Three weeks ago today—after three and a half years on 8-16mg of Suboxone a day following a serious prescription pill problem (hundreds of mgs/day for over two years)—I jumped off Suboxone. But not really, because I obtained about 100 10mg oxycodone caplets and some 30mg XR Morphine sulfate pills—figuring if I went back to taking *just enough* pills to keep me from getting sick each day, lowering the mgs each day, I’d be able to bypass the worst of Suboxone withdrawals and just deal with the pill withdrawals, which I’ve read time and again are way shorter in duration and intensity than the detox from long-term Suboxone use. I’ve felt low-grade flu-like symptoms but nothing so awful that I couldn’t function.
I’m now almost out of pills except the little purple morphine pills (which if I were using to get off, I’d crush and mix with water to plug) and a bag of heroin I got long ago. I have only ever snorted H (or miserably failed at chasing the dragon), never mainlined, but now I feel myself tempted to try the latter, as I cut up the two brown rocks of H into powder and snorting it is doing nothing for me (yes, I’m aware I still have “junkie/addict” mentality for wanting to get off one last time. I had planned to jump off for real [cold turkey] tomorrow, but I’m scared. I did see Robert235’s Suboxone taper plan and could always go back on them, as I have a huge stash of 8mg strips—I get 60/month from my doc but never take as much as prescribed)—and I have also reviewed the Thomas Recipe and purchased the recommended supplements for it. I do have prescriptions for Klonopin, Xanax, and a bunch of old Gabapentin, though I’ve never really know what Gaba is for. I also bought some Kratom to try after reading about that).
I guess I have two main questions: When I *really* jump off, how long am I going to be miserable for? I was clinically depressed BEFORE I started using, and the euphoria/energy from the pills is what got me hooked on them. The depression scares me much more than physical withdrawal. Should I try the Kratom along with the Thomas Recipe? Or is that just setting me up for more withdrawals down the line?
Also, I am snorting and attempting to smoke the H I have today, and I feel basically nothing. I’m female in my early 30s and I live in NYC...usually used to get white-ish powder or easily crushable rocks. This was medium brown and came in two easily crushable rocks. I tried smoking it (which I’m admittedly terrible at) and it smelled acrid-sweet. Should I try shooting it (which, again, I’ve never done)? Or is it fake?
I’m aware the content of this makes me seem like some sort of moron, taking my drugs of choice to get OFF drugs, but my Suboxone doctor would have me stay on that high dose of it FOREVER if she could, and I just want to be quote-unquote “normal.” But at the same time, I wouldn’t mind feeling a little euphoria one last time. It’s been years. I can honestly say I no longer “crave” opiates at all, or even think about them usually. It seems the high levels of bupe for so many years have maybe messed up my brain’s opiate receptors to the point where getting off is impossible, even three weeks in with zero bupe now possibly left in my system. What’s going on? Is my H fake or is my body just permanently pulling a Nancy Reagan on me and “saying NO to drugs?”
I know this message is muddled and filled with random questions, so I’d very much appreciate responses from anyone who can help with any of them. Thanks so much!
I’m now almost out of pills except the little purple morphine pills (which if I were using to get off, I’d crush and mix with water to plug) and a bag of heroin I got long ago. I have only ever snorted H (or miserably failed at chasing the dragon), never mainlined, but now I feel myself tempted to try the latter, as I cut up the two brown rocks of H into powder and snorting it is doing nothing for me (yes, I’m aware I still have “junkie/addict” mentality for wanting to get off one last time. I had planned to jump off for real [cold turkey] tomorrow, but I’m scared. I did see Robert235’s Suboxone taper plan and could always go back on them, as I have a huge stash of 8mg strips—I get 60/month from my doc but never take as much as prescribed)—and I have also reviewed the Thomas Recipe and purchased the recommended supplements for it. I do have prescriptions for Klonopin, Xanax, and a bunch of old Gabapentin, though I’ve never really know what Gaba is for. I also bought some Kratom to try after reading about that).
I guess I have two main questions: When I *really* jump off, how long am I going to be miserable for? I was clinically depressed BEFORE I started using, and the euphoria/energy from the pills is what got me hooked on them. The depression scares me much more than physical withdrawal. Should I try the Kratom along with the Thomas Recipe? Or is that just setting me up for more withdrawals down the line?
Also, I am snorting and attempting to smoke the H I have today, and I feel basically nothing. I’m female in my early 30s and I live in NYC...usually used to get white-ish powder or easily crushable rocks. This was medium brown and came in two easily crushable rocks. I tried smoking it (which I’m admittedly terrible at) and it smelled acrid-sweet. Should I try shooting it (which, again, I’ve never done)? Or is it fake?
I’m aware the content of this makes me seem like some sort of moron, taking my drugs of choice to get OFF drugs, but my Suboxone doctor would have me stay on that high dose of it FOREVER if she could, and I just want to be quote-unquote “normal.” But at the same time, I wouldn’t mind feeling a little euphoria one last time. It’s been years. I can honestly say I no longer “crave” opiates at all, or even think about them usually. It seems the high levels of bupe for so many years have maybe messed up my brain’s opiate receptors to the point where getting off is impossible, even three weeks in with zero bupe now possibly left in my system. What’s going on? Is my H fake or is my body just permanently pulling a Nancy Reagan on me and “saying NO to drugs?”
I know this message is muddled and filled with random questions, so I’d very much appreciate responses from anyone who can help with any of them. Thanks so much!