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Bad MDMA experience - first trip report + help!

Roll60

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 5, 2017
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10
Pill - 210mg (possibly) - first time
So i had never taken mdma before, besides gumming it at a festival of which i felt no affects, and so really wanting to feel the effects of mdma, i made a stupid decision. I was at a rave with some mates and i decided to buy a pill off a random guy selling them at the rave. They were 'pink hello kitty pills' and i had no idea what was in them, i just assumed it was mainly mdma.
I then proceeded to drop half of the pill.
45 mins later i was feeling absolutely nothing. Stupidly, i made my second mistake, i dropped the other half. About 10 mins in, a grin appeared on my face and i suddenly felt an extreme wave of euphoria. Out of nowhere i just felt pure love for everyone around me. I ran over to my friend, told him i finally felt it and hugged him, then i started dancing.
Let the horror begin.
5 minutes later, i for some reason walked in to the smoking area (i dont remember why) and suddenly colours from the lights around me started getting very blurry and intense. Out of nowhere my heart started pounding rapidly and i felt all of a sudden extremely nauseous. Luckily, i bumped into my friend and i said to him 'i need to sit down'.
Immediately he pulled me over to the sofas in the smoking area and suddenly i felt like i was gonna die. There were no seats so i just sat down on the floor leaning against the sofa with my head in my hands and my heart pounding through my chest. My friends tapped me and i took my head out my hands. He was talking, but his words were flying at 1000mph. I literally couldn't understand him, it was like his words were whizzing past me.
Other people were asking me what i had taken, but all i heard was that word taken about 5 times in a second.
I suddenly started thinking about how i was going to be just a statistic in the ecstasy drug deaths. I thought i had taken a dodgy pill (I'll never know). I started thinking of my parents and my body dead in a newspaper as i started to shake and suddenly sweat like a pig. People around me were checking my heart pulse. This scared me even in more and nearly sent me into a full blown breakdown, i genuinely thought this was the end. Luckily some mates found me and took care of me.
This lasted 10 mins, then after this i proceeded to have a great 2 more hours, i felt tingly, pure love, wanted to find all my mates and just felt content.
There wasnt really a comedown, but for the whole week after i was depressed.
I realise that this was most likely due to anxiety during the comeup as well as a potentially dodgy pill and too much mdma all at once. But i really want to roll again, but am scared for my life, any advice would be greatly appreciated.

BTW - i searched the pills online and it says they are 210mg of mdma on pill report.
Also, althought i dont condone the use of illegal substances, if you do take them, please dont do what i did and not test your substances.
 
It looks like you had a panic attack. 210mg is a heavy dose for somebody without tolerance. Even with some experience, there is often anxiety during the come-up, but you learn to breath it out.

Eat well, do some exercise and take time to sleep.
 
It looks like you had a panic attack. 210mg is a heavy dose for somebody without tolerance. Even with some experience, there is often anxiety during the come-up, but you learn to breath it out.

Eat well, do some exercise and take time to sleep.

Yeah man, that definitely sounds like a panic attack, I had one the first time I rolled because I thought I took too much, it ruined my roll for a few minutes whilst I was panicking.
EDIT
I pictured my girlfriend finding me dead and that ran through my mind constantly for 5 minutes, i felt like shit mate.
 
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Yeah most likely, i had never had a panic attack before so an mdma induced panic attack was terrifying, thanks for the advice.
 
Pretty much sounds like my experience, except it was like the mdna was overpowering me at first and then that induced the panic attack. Like when it all hit at once and everything started getting wavy and blurry, as well as i started getting nauseous, this only worsened it and induced panic attack.
Thanks for the advice, any tips for next time?
 
Pretty much sounds like my experience, except it was like the mdna was overpowering me at first and then that induced the panic attack. Like when it all hit at once and everything started getting wavy and blurry, as well as i started getting nauseous, this only worsened it and induced panic attack.
Thanks for the advice, any tips for next time?

Take a dose of 1-1.5 mg mdma/kg body weight. There’s a sticky on bluelight how to roll save. Also take a break for 2-3 months before roling again and keep in mind that there’s a possibility you’re sensitive to anxiety. Wich can be triggerd by drugs.

http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/657228-Six-Simple-Rules-To-MDMA
 
About two weeks ago I went through something similar. I had a few people round and I went out to get me and a friend pills. When I got back she decided she was just going to try ket instead, so I bought her pill off her. Where I live (on an island), we normally get our pills shipped over on a Thursday night from England, from Lancaster or Manchester or Leeds or somewhere. Recently pill have just gotten rediculously popular to the point where we run out the night they get over and no one has any to sell at the weekend, so people have started pressing their own. At the time we had yellow shells, green grenades, and ikeas. the shells that were shipped over were absolutely shit, maybe like 110mg max, but because people had started pressing their own we had new shells. You could tell the power ones from the shit ones because the power ones were hard pressed. They probably have about 190mg in, but that's just my estimate. Anyway, I had no idea these weren't the shit shells until after I'd just sniffed one and swallowed one. I was sitting on the floor acting goosed when I just went 'Oi, lads, my heart's fucking caning'. My mate asked if I'd double dropped, I told him what I'd done, and everyone got scared. It had only been 40 minutes, so I said the other one might not have kicked in yet, and everyone got more scared. I just lay on my matress in the middle of the living room floor for about ten minutes, telling myself over and over in my head that I was going to die and that as soon as I felt the slightest chest pain I was calling an ambulance. In the end I decided I was going to be fine, but I just said out loud 'I'm seeing things' (which happens to me all the time with MDMA) and one lad freaked out. I managed to calm him down and everyone could see at that point that I was fine (not before he called 999, though).

With stimulants you just kind of have to learn accept that you'll think you're going to die at some point. It's uncommon for me to go through one week without getting some kind of anxiety from amphetamine or MDMA. Methylphenidate is the absolute worst for this, in my opinion, and MDMA is usually completely anxiety free. I've been in situations that would have scared me shitless if I wasn't on it, like having the police come to my mate's house looking for someone while I had 6 Levi's and a strip of dexamphetamine on me. I was in the bedroom and I heard them ask downstairs 'Have you taken anything? You're pupils are massive'. If I wasn't on it I would have probably whitied. Despite how confident it usually makes people feel, I think you probably had a panic attack. I had my first bad panic attack on Concerta yesterday. I was so sure I was going to die I told my dad I'd 'taken a friend's ADHD medication, because I can't find mine' and that my heart was proper pounding. As soon as I knew he knew I calmed right down and my heart went from about 180 to 120 (I'd snorted 90mg of Concerta XL with no tolerance by the way, so my heart was still going to be fast). The reason I think you only had a panic attack is because a) You weren't hallucinating, and b) You don't mention anything about being hot. When I double dropped them power shells I had a wet towel round my head for the rest of the night. Just be aware this could happen again in the future, but knowing now what you know now, you should be able to talk some sense into yourself if it happens again. Honestly I've told myself I was going to die more times than I can count when I've been on speed or Concerta. Just breathe.
 
Thanks for the reply, yh i had a pretty similar experience to you. The fact that i was in a packed rave probably made things worse. Btw i did mention that about 5 mins into the crash, i started sweating like a pig and people around me had to pull of my jumper as i was so confused and nauseous. What do you mean by i easnt hallucinating and so it made things worse?
 
I mean I hallucinate from high but safe doses of MDMA (safe with my tolerance), so I think if you had overdosed you would have experienced some kind of hallucinations. Not hallucinating wouldn’t have made things worse, you probably would have been way worse if you were. I’ve never gotten hot in the comedown but by that point you don’t have much to worry about, when you get on high doses/overdose on MDMA you usually overheat while the drug is still active, since I didn’t see anything about that I assumed you either didn’t get too hot or were too caught up in anxiety to notice. Btw I looked up a pill report on hello kitty pills and they were found to primarily contain meth, although they were a greenish-blue colour. Had any of your friends ever tried those pills? Usually I just get a pill report off a mate to find out if they’re any good or not, like no one round here takes Tesla’s anymore because they made one lad proper angry and he assumed it was meth or speed. It’s not really a reliable way of testing your pills but it’s better than going in blind.

Usually when I’m coming up I just go and sit alone and listen to music, then come back when I’m feeling better. I don’t usually enjoy the come up at all so if I’ve taken any other stims that day I get really nervous. That’s why I also show up to parties already fucked so I don’t have to deal with that.
 
Usually when I’m coming up I just go and sit alone and listen to music, then come back when I’m feeling better. I don’t usually enjoy the come up at all so if I’ve taken any other stims that day I get really nervous. That’s why I also show up to parties already fucked so I don’t have to deal with that.

IME, tiny bump of K during the come-up are doing a great job for killing anxiety.
 
Well, it does look like a panic attack to me but also what most of us already haved in their MDMA past but don't be scared, 210mg it's a heavy dose especially if it's the biggest you have taken and environment plays a big role during your roll(pressuming you have done in past). But, before you take a pill just go onto scale see how many kg you have, then tape line your height, I recommand to you this website https://mollymeasure.com it's just a calculator which can be very useful for your MDMA beginnings, after that you will know for the future.
Also, I do not recommand taking pills/K during come-up because you will not be used to the love that Eve gives and also you will not get used to her magic itself just let her do all the job natural speaking, one thing I have to tell you is that she hate being mixed. I suggest taking lower doses(75-100mg max) to get used and see how things goes but do not let her go, just be on her side because she will be on yours, basically always.

Before rolling if you don't come in with a good mindset this will harm your experience. Now if you are depressed after all this shit happend do not take antidepressants man, I said do not! it will fry all the serotonin your nerves have and you will have to wait years to feel something again, but if you are still in this situations and looking to get rid of it, for now just smoke some gas so your brain can relax a bit

Edit: If you experience anxiety in future trips just go to someone to massage you a bit, also light up a cigar + if you have slack things(t-shirt/pants/gloves, you got the idea) touch them, it will lower and you will be back on line. Do not drink orange juices during your rolls because you will not roll harder eventually and anyone who tells you it's okay to do it, maybe for their brains but for other brains, we know that this is only a confusion that applies to LSD( but what I do recommand instead is that you will enjoy it when you have the afterglow). Be safe, drink water and rave on
 
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This was my first ever roll haha, i had never rolled before, or taken any drugs besides weed for that matter. Thanks for the advice mate, do you reckon 100mg will be fine?
 
Don't know, your trip report sounds atypical. You felt euphoria followed by your freak out, after which euphoria returned. You didn't test so we have no idea of what you took.
210 mg is a very large dose of mdma. 120 mg would have been much better.
Also setting, not good. Surrounded by strangers and no safe zones.
I'm not condemning you I've done the same myself, but make sure other people don't repeat your mistakes.
 
100mg would do the job perfectly but keep in mind what I said about kg/height, beside water(just 1 glass/250ml/per hour, and if you raving let's say about 500ml, that means 2 glasses if I remember corectly), drink Gatorade if you will, it contains more electrolyte than water. But your drinking on MDMA should be educated though and I think you will be good to following my rule, dance few tracks/chill few tracks and you will maintain the balance, also with the hydratation thing just a tip do not overthink it (overhydratation/dehydratation/overheating), now if you dance a lot try to set 1h timer on your watch/phone so by the end of that time you should be already dumped that bottle of gatorade/water and then go to the magic shop and buy another, but only if you been dancing/sweating a lot, anyway half a litre per hour per total should be perfect. Another tip it's about peeing, agh yes damn. So if you having hard time with your johnson just put it into a glass/bottle whatever and you will be able to make the things go easier.

OFF> don't wanna be mean or rude but i wouldn't call mary jane a drug, she is a gift ayy lil buddy, love ya and be safe
 
This was my first ever roll haha, i had never rolled before, or taken any drugs besides weed for that matter. Thanks for the advice mate, do you reckon 100mg will be fine?
Yes, just take a 3-month break before it.
Meanwhile take vit.B6, eat fish and fresh turkey meat (tryptophan) and take 5-HTP supplements.
Just before the next dose preload as described in <<no linking to other forums>>
 
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