• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist | cdin | Lil'LinaptkSix

Shame and Harmful Drug Use

I know it kept me from seeking professional help for my addiction.
 
That's what one of my teachers like to say, how letting one's self stagnate in shame is one of the most effective way of accomplishing nothing.

What blows my mind is how common the "tough love" approach is, given all we know about the science of substance use disorder these days. It is so common, in sometime small and other times large, ways so called treatment approaches tries to capitalize on shame. Even when it "works" for someone, it seems like it still sets them up for failure down the road in terms of ongoing development.
 
Very much so. I was 16 my parents found a rig in a coat pocket, instead of trying to get me help I got were ashamed of you. To the point I left and ended up a junkie on the streets for a year. Because I was ashamed of myself
 
The fact BL is a safe space to discuss highly charges and stigmatized things, like drug use and addiction, which is absolutely crucial in my experience of working to overcome shame and self hatred. That is I think one of the best things about BL, how it provides a forum for discussing difficult subjects frankly and without judgement.
 
Yes bluelight is a godsend, I can honestly say I'd be in the streets strung out on heroin if it weren't for the support here. Haven't touched opiates in a long time, but they're the ones that keep gnawing at me.
 
Nice thread, TPD!

I had an epiphany when shame came up when I was in rehab. It continues to be one of the crucial ideas under my efforts to get better.

Shame was a driving force when I started using heroin. I had spent my whole life feeling ashamed of both myself and my family. Shame was probably the strongest feeling I had about myself. And of course, once things got sour with the drugs, I was ashamed about using, about being unable to stop.

Honestly, as I'm staring down the barrel of a divorce, I think a lot of what drove my wife away had to do with shame. From what she's told me, it was hard on her to be around someone who was constantly reacting to shame. And when the drugs forced her into a role where I often felt that she was shaming me, I think that's what killed the relationship. She didn't want to be part of that. Pulling my wife into my shame drama put her in a position that she hated, and eventually she had to get away. Of course there's more to it than that. But I do think this is a significant part of what happened to us.

Over the years in recovery, shame has struck me as one of the most pervasive common denominators among people who lose their ability to control their drug use.
 
Im not sure if its shame which limits my personal growth or ??? but I often perpetuate what it is that Im ashamed of in some sort of vicious self loathing cycle.
Im out of shape and ashamed? What does it matter if Im lazy and eat a whole pizza?
Im ashamed due to my excessive drinking? What does it matter if I continue?

I feel like at the very least the recognition aspect of shame could be beneficial if it werent clouded with feelings of guilt and humiliation.
 
When i spoke about my drug use to friends and family (id always lie about the amount of times or dosages) I felt ashamed. This led me to stop talking about it especially to friends as I didn't want to be seen as the 'druggie' - even they did drugs I just did them more often and was more open minded. But because of this it pushed me slightly away from them so I'd take my drugs alone which at the time seemed very bad in my eyes but I didn't want them to know how much I was doing. This just lead me to doing more drugs because I didn't think anyone would know. This eventually lead to years if addition - hidden addiction I may add. Until a few years later when everyone found out (won't go in to that).

But what I'm getting at is that if it was 'socially acceptable' to talk about drug use drug users would be in a far better place and I believe it would result is less drug abuse and addiction.

From my personal experience.

If I was ashamed to tell my friends or family how many drugs I was using and how often I may have gotten help before I became an addict.
 
I agreed with that a lot. Speaks to a lot of the best addiction research out there, that the opposite of addiction isn't abstinence but connection. Some substances are probably more habit forming and harmful than others, but how our cultures tend to deal with substance use is far more harmful than the substances themselves IMO.

And what I know is that when I feel like I have to hide what I'm doing (regarding drug use or whatever) from people I can normally be frank, honest and transparent with, I know there is something that needs to be addressed.

Certainly a big part of drug misuse, drug related harm and substance use disorder has a lot to do with the fact that most people have ZERO idea how to safely use various substances. This kind of education is very important in terms of dealing with these issues, but the war on drugs and their legal status makes this challenging in most places.
 
I think it says wonders about addiction if its opposite is connection. Im a believer that drug addiction is a disease, yes it is a choice at one point but eventually it turns into a physical ailment. However it seems like simply treating the physical side of addiction is inadequate. Rather we need a multiifaceted approach treating all aspects before true healing can occur.

I think they way that we teach kids (because once were out of school learning really becomes a personal thing) about drug use speaks volume and is certainly related to the stigmatization surrounding addiction.

Fear mongering and "Just say no"? Seriously thats the best advice they can give us? ... My ex is now in school for drug and alcohol counselling (id like to think I helped with that choice haha) and oje of the books she had to read was titled "Just say know". I loved the play. Didnt care much for some of the info and wording but at least the author recognizes the incongruencies.

Im reminded of something Alexander Shulgin said in either pihkal or tihkal, i cant recall ... Either way it was something to the tune of we need all the information regarding a drug (or for any question): good, bad, neutral and all the possibilities thereof, before we can make an informed decision.

Knowledge surrounding safe use is lacking yes. But basic knowledge surrounding the drugs themselves is also lacking. Imo before we can treat addiction at its roots we first need to educate: Users and non users, doctors and nurses and first care respondents, pyschiatrists and pyshcologists, and the law makers and police themselves.

Often times I feel like people are ashamed for others (drug use) and this only compounds feelings of shame for the user and makes treating their addiction even more complicated as they feel forced to hide their behaviour until it can no longer be ignored.

Im rambling (due to late night caffeine consumption and little sleep - this is step 1 haha) so ill sum it up....

Unbiased education for all involved in drug (mis)use and treatment is the first step in removing shame associated with harmful drug use and thus treating addiction.
 
Shame has made me not progress. This is mostly due to me having anxiety issues my whole life.

In particular when in a situation where I have an opportunity for things to go positive I end up withdrawing as I can't deal with personal shame. It is like as if I don't deserve the good stuff :(

It's a shit situation to be in.

I have a post grad / masters in business and few years of experience although last few years havent been working cause of mental health issues.whenever I hear peoples work stories it gets to me when i know i can do better.

So it goes though.....
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top