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Mental Health Why is my mum knocking my confidence?

Markomarkh

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 18, 2013
Messages
507
Every time I have an argument, which I try to avoid and not react to anything it still ends up in arguments about something stupid on news like that Larry love hacker story, then bring up the aspergers story and try’s to label me aspergers which I’m not entirely convinced ive got it! Then I was debating iq levels of people who watch reality tv and got silly, they reckon the clever people don’t watch it and I don’t watch it, then she says I was dumb for saying that which I think is probably true. I think I’m right 95% of time dunno if I am but she try’s to belittle me into thinking I’m wrong all the time when I’m not. I might be lacking in social skills but I’m not dumb, I can make music using music technology, I can draw to high standards, fix computer and technology problems, good end user of computers. What can she do apart from cook clean and hoover? Don’t worry I love mum, but hate nag nag! I got to learn not to react!
 
"What can she do apart from cook clean and hoover?"

if i said that to my mum there would be blood lol, i don't blame your mum for playing devils advocate with obnoxious generalisations such as "people that watch reality tv have low IQ's"
 
When I am feeling downeven tho I’m on antidepressant my mom will say things that don’t help like if I wore a shirt once and the same jeans for a day then wear them again because they are not dirty she will think I have been wearing them for a week and when I feel like I don’t care about my weight she will tell me that guys like skinny girls and a guy won’t want you if you don’t take care of yourself even if it’s as minor as forgetting to brush my teeth or letting my hair go a day or two more until I wash it and I always have it in a ponytail anyway I never say anything to her about what she says but I feel like I don’t have any confidence in myself at all what do I do. Ps I have been on antidepressant since I was 13 when my sister died in a car accident she was 10
 
I also am mentally and emotionally slower then most people my age and I don’t have a job so I am on ssi but I volunteer at my local animal shelter and my mothers work so I consider those jobs but my mom used to tell me that I needed to work and not play with the animals but what she dosent understand is hat when I interact with them I am socializing them so they can be adopted if I didn’t do that they would be destroyed so I feel like I am making their lives better by playing with them we get a lot of dogs and cats that are strays so if I can help them find homes they will be able to live and be happy instead of dying
 
Parents can crtiicise and undetmine confidence by pointing out flaws and faults continuously.

Its common. Most do that thinking they are helping by pointing things out but it doesnt help.

Parents and adult children need their space.
 
Not reacting is being passive aggressive which is a pussy move. I think maybe she wants you to move out?
 
My mom controls my ssi money and I wouldn’t be able to move out but I do live in a trailer in my parents back yard so I at least have some space to myself
 
Many Moms (mine incl) most clearly demonstrate the generation gap when there is tension. Nagging isn't even a conscious decision. Took me 30 years to realise that.


Isn't narcissism when you rat on the cartel?
 
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