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Seeing pretty photos misleading and can lead to disappointment?

M

Markomarkh

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 18, 2013
Messages
510
Have you ever thought while on Facebook or dating sites or whereever and seen a pretty girl in their profile photo and thought bloody hell shes nice, thinking she’s got to be nice in person, so you plan to meet her, through friend of friends of course, bit corny a complete stranger and tend to ignore you. But when you meet them in person for real for first time they are completely different, you ever like them in a different way or think they are a doormat, all looks no personality or complete bitch! Then think why do I bother with this online dating nonsense! I’ve never really known dating sites to work like that as they all work with a photo and profile and you just can’t tell if they are right for you. I’m sure a very few have had success but it’s only 5% to 10% I reckon. Is this something evil going on? What you think?think we should stick to good old fashioned way.
 
anyone can sellect their best photo- duh

and yes we have all met people who looked shitter than in their pics, at the same time i have met those who look wayyyyy better in real life.

yeah internet and picking photo's is unnatural but the alternative is going out and chatting up random women- good luck with that OP- you're here on internet looking for women because the alternative does not come easy to you. i'm gay so i cant just go up to men in the street cos its harassment and i might get slapped or just have a prohibitively low success rate that would make me feel sad and gay bars are not what they were 15 years ago- all old ass men in 40-50's with their big guts and dwindling looks. grindr has killed the scene and the gay clubs play music thats an insult - pop crap spewing out all night. how about some decent dance tunes? unlikely

we all can see how this photo thing is no match for meeting them in real life and smelling them or getting their vibe

internet dating isn't evil its just horrendously inefficient

you just gotta keep at it. eventually your luck will change
 
I think you need to go into Internet dating with lower expectations. It may take a number of dates to click with someone. It's a process that takes some time and effort or you might just get lucky like my wife and I (met online and just had our 10th anniversary). Be honest and keep throwing your line in, to use a fishing analogy.
 
In my experience people who are skeptical about online dating are either just bitter about their own lack of success or secretly bitter about the fact that it's now much easier to get dates without having much real life "game" or whatever you want to call it.

Obviously if you are male, naturally you will have a very low response rate, and the converse if you are female. However this is nothing unusual and just reflective of real life (if enhanced a little by how easy it is to send a message to someone on the internet).

Obviously everyone is going to present their best side on online dating sites... again however, this is just like real life, people always try to present their best qualities and look their best when trying to attract someone. You can hardly blame them for this and I'm certain you do the same.

If you think we should stick to the old fashioned way, then go for it, go out and meet women in real life. Plenty of people do still meet this way and no-one's stopping you.
 
God sake vastness, you not very nice are you? Always saying how bitter everyone is, are you really bitter too then? For your information I do get responses, 24 messages on helloyoudating fact, but none of them are my cup of tea or they got kids!
 
^ with respect, based on your posts you come across as bitter.

you seem to think that, if someone doesn't find you attractive, you're being discriminated against because you're an english white guy? that doesn't come across to you as rather bitter?

you ask a lot of questions and you seem to reject a lot of solid advice you get in these forums. if there were no limitations, what do you think needs to happen to improve your situation and make you happier?

alasdair
 
Markomarkh said:
God sake vastness, you not very nice are you? Always saying how bitter everyone is, are you really bitter too then? For your information I do get responses, 24 messages on helloyoudating fact, but none of them are my cup of tea or they got kids!
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On the contrary - I'm trying to highlight how in actual fact, the world might not be quite as bad as you think it is, but in fact it is your own point of view that makes you see it this way.

Like many other posters here I have also tried my best to give you helpful advice, but it's pretty clear at this point that you're not really interested in changing... you just want to complain and have people agree with you about how terrible everything is.

Forgive me, I know it isn't what you want to hear, but I just can't let that kind of directionless, apathetic negativity slide, and if you insist on continuing to shine your light of pessimism and, forgive me for saying it, bitterness, on the world, I'm going to keep trying to counter it with an alternative and more optimistic viewpoint. ;)
 
Vastness said:
On the contrary - I'm trying to highlight how in actual fact, the world might not be quite as bad as you think it is, but in fact it is your own point of view that makes you see it this way.

Like many other posters here I have also tried my best to give you helpful advice, but it's pretty clear at this point that you're not really interested in changing... you just want to complain and have people agree with you about how terrible everything is.

Forgive me, I know it isn't what you want to hear, but I just can't let that kind of directionless, apathetic negativity slide, and if you insist on continuing to shine your light of pessimism and, forgive me for saying it, bitterness, on the world, I'm going to keep trying to counter it with an alternative and more optimistic viewpoint. ;)
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Well I do take advice, I do listen and interested what you lot have to say otherwise I’d wouldn’t come back would I, don’t think I’m bitter maybe depressed yes because a lot going on at home at the moment. Think its the problem with forums, no one knows the full story of everyone. I don’t mean to come across a negative nancy or an asshole. I try to find answers on internet search but sometimes they misleading or deceiving. So I come up with half truths or not at all. Maybe I need a break from this forum. I’ll shut up for a while now.
 
alasdairm said:
you seem to think that, if someone doesn't find you attractive, you're being discriminated against because you're an english white guy? that doesn't come across to you as rather bitter?
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Haha Try being a black woman looking for dates with white guys. I've faced rejection. One fucknut even said "I don't date colored girls." Unbelievable. I wanted to ignore his message, but I corrected him and said "colored" is offensive. He must live under a rock. Who still uses that word? I digress.
Every one faces rejection, you have to keep trying. I've found plenty of guys who are actually interested and had meaningful relationships.

Don't give up.
 
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Markomarkh its more important you focus on yourself and getting out from under the black cloud first then worry about women as the cloud doesnt make it easy for worthwhile people to find you and shrouds the outside world in gloom so no one will seem worthwhile to you.

People in general are better viewed in person abd not online.

Its the depression that is keeping you trapped in seeing the internet as your only escape. Step outside, go out and people watch in the comfort of a bar.
 
Don't be so shallow. Talk to them more. Get to know them more online and you won't be disappointed.
 
^ this.
You can actually get to know people pretty well online, and it doesn't matter what either person looks like.
It's probably one of the only ways you can separate physical appearance from the equation.

On the other hand, i also agree with this:

zephyr said:
Markomarkh its more important you focus on yourself and getting out from under the black cloud first then worry about women as the cloud doesnt make it easy for worthwhile people to find you and shrouds the outside world in gloom so no one will seem worthwhile to you.

People in general are better viewed in person abd not online.

Its the depression that is keeping you trapped in seeing the internet as your only escape. Step outside, go out and people watch in the comfort of a bar.
Click to expand...
 
^ its true, being depressed will make every option seem like not worth it and a lot of effort.

easiest was to combat depression is excercise. it wont make you king of joy but it takes away the irritability
 
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