What it's like to be homeless in Venice Beach, CA

[Psychedalienation]

Hi all. My name is Andrue. I'm 18 years old and I've been homeless on the Venice Beach boardwalk for 5 months.

I just wanted to write a perspective entry of how life is here and see what your responses are like.

My background is a upper middle class household. I'm not a violent person. My life came here from drugs and alcohol. I've never been arrested. Minimal police interaction in my life. Never been homeless before. Until now.

Since I've been here, I've been robbed twice, beat up once, beat someone else up once, met 3 pedophiles and interacted with them and, almost got raped 3 times, seen every person of every color doing every crime and good deed there is, smoked meth for the first time, watched someone shoot drugs for the first time, saw someone get tazed for the first time, did a mystery powder off the sidewalk that ended up being Ketamine, made music for money with new friends, panhandled for the first time, met hundreds of people, cried, laughed, tweaked, slumped, fought, loved, hated, ate dumpster food, froze my ass off, slept on the sand at night for the first time, slept in a tent for the first time, screamed at my best friend, hugged my worst enemy, and lived this life.

My daily routine is comepletely random. The only thing the that stays the same is the constant intake of cannabis, alcohol, and nicotine. I hate it here and love it here. There are more crazy people here than I have ever met in my entire life and I have lived in many, many cities. There are hundreds of unstable, loose cannon mentally disabled homeless people here and when you give them crystal methamphetamine or PCP, it 's not good.

The most popular drug here is crystal meth. Damn near everyone does it. I'd done meth once before I came here and it was my first time. I snorted that time. Since I came here, i've done meth at least 15 times, and I smoked the last two times. I've stayed up for 3 days one time. I hate meth but sometimes I do it just because my friends do it and I don't want to be tired while they are up.

I want to get out of here. I feel so lost but so complacent. Food and drugs are extremely plentiful here. Handouts are frequent. We get free shit constantly. But once night hits and you're on meth riding your bike down the boardwalk by Ozone and you get harassed by Shoreline Crips or some crazy tweaker and you're mobbing towards the police station at 20 mph on your bike... It's then that you think, damn, why the fuck am I here.

Don't know where this entry belongs but I'll leave it in culture. Feel free to ask questions.

 

[cj]

Sounds like an interesting life.

 

[ovo1024]

Damn bro is that where you been? What happened to job corps? I'm assuming you don't have a cell phone. I been to Venice beach a couple times since I grew up in southern California. But never been homeless there. I hope you will be alright man I've been in a similar situation

 

[Tubbs]

Homelessness is definitely rough. Drugs may make it seem better but in the end they make it so much worse

 

[belligerent drunk]

I don't know your history, but you're still young and being homeless is a very hard lifestyle. Since you come from a (I assume) fairly decent household, I suggest you try to get back with your parents and find some other way of living. While it may be interesting at this moment, I highly doubt you'll not regret it later on.

 

[xstayfadedx]

This made me actually depressed. My love died in 2011 and he was from Venice. Then he got involved in that lifestyle around there. Arrested. Ect, ect, ect. Then one day he overdosed and died. He was born in 1991... so around your age when he passed.

Be safe out there and maybe try to get out. Fuck it, travel. There's less scary places out there

You can change your story...

I was homeless at 18 too. I remember sitting on a bench with my mom and we didn't know what to do.

I'm now 24 and have a home. Finally living my dreams.

 

[Mmengel89]

I was Homeless & living on the boardwalk at Venice beach for about 6months almost 8 years ago and it is a hard exsistance but for the fact that food and $$$ kick downs are plentiful but the easy handouts whilst needed are one thing that helps keep on trapped in the cycle of homelessness because of how complacent it can make one I almost never had a off day there I would panhandle by flying a sign and in less than a hour I'd have $$$ for food & $20/Day for Heroin to stay well.
Cannabis was something I rarely paid for normally if I would start resin scrape my pipe in front of a dispensary in 10-15min someone would kick me a nug.
I'm glad that I didn't stay there for long

 

[zombiesarepeaceful]

I've been homeless before. While it seemed like it lasted forever, it was only about a month, so I was lucky in that aspect. Stayed in a shelter, well multiple shelters. Met one of my best friends in the first shelter, and we were instant friends. He was sort of like a brother to me, and that friendship is probably what got me through homelessness. He was a train wreck, but I felt like he needed me and vice versa. We spent most of our days at the library killing time there when the shelter kicked everyone out during the daytime hours. Went to the soup kitchen or used food stamps for lunch. Since we didn't have anywhere to cook obviously, we went to the park and built a fire if we needed to heat something up but it was a slow process and it fucking sucked. Eventually we left the shelter and the shelter had a rule that you couldn't return there right away if you had just left so we ended up bumming around. Slept at the houses of random people that he met on the street. Slept in my car in 13 degree weather with a broken window. I had a car when the homelessness began but eventually it died and so we had to just walk everywhere, which sucked. We did a lot of dxm to numb ourselves. He would often have crazy off the wall or just stupid dangerous ideas, so I was always there to steer him away if I thought we could be put in danger.

We eventually both went to sign up for housing grants so we would have our rent paid for while we tried to get back on our feet. He got his housing grant approved before mine did, so I stayed with him until my grant was approved and that's how I got out of homelessness. I honestly don't know how I would have done it without the housing grant. Then I found a job and worked on earning enough money to have a life again. Being homeless sucked, but I had a lot of experiences and shit that I'm glad that I had and I'm actually glad to have had the experience. It changed me as a person, especially regarding how I handle money. I was always careful with money before, but I am even more now because I don't have family and I don't want to be homeless again. I'm lucky that I was young when it happened and so I didn't have many material belongings. That was 8 years ago and if I were to become homeless now, I can't even imagine all the belongings that I would lose, ones that mean a lot to me. I would be devastated. And since I have no family to fall back on, I feel like I'm constantly reminded of how I can't afford to lose my shit.

It's a struggle but you CAN get out of homelessness. Apply for every fucking public housing assistance program that you can find. Get a job if you're able. I know sometimes it's not possible to do the job thing without a roof over your head first. I know that it's difficult but if you can manage to get into some sort of a free housing situation where you can get your shit together without living on the streets, it really helps. From there you can find a job and then slowly rebuild your life.

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

Hi all. My name is Andrue. I'm 18 years old and I've been homeless on the Venice Beach boardwalk for 5 months.

I just wanted to write a perspective entry of how life is here and see what your responses are like.

My background is a upper middle class household. I'm not a violent person. My life came here from drugs and alcohol. I've never been arrested. Minimal police interaction in my life. Never been homeless before. Until now.

Since I've been here, I've been robbed twice, beat up once, beat someone else up once, met 3 pedophiles and interacted with them and, almost got raped 3 times, seen every person of every color doing every crime and good deed there is, smoked meth for the first time, watched someone shoot drugs for the first time, saw someone get tazed for the first time, did a mystery powder off the sidewalk that ended up being Ketamine, made music for money with new friends, panhandled for the first time, met hundreds of people, cried, laughed, tweaked, slumped, fought, loved, hated, ate dumpster food, froze my ass off, slept on the sand at night for the first time, slept in a tent for the first time, screamed at my best friend, hugged my worst enemy, and lived this life.

My daily routine is comepletely random. The only thing the that stays the same is the constant intake of cannabis, alcohol, and nicotine. I hate it here and love it here. There are more crazy people here than I have ever met in my entire life and I have lived in many, many cities. There are hundreds of unstable, loose cannon mentally disabled homeless people here and when you give them crystal methamphetamine or PCP, it 's not good.

The most popular drug here is crystal meth. Damn near everyone does it. I'd done meth once before I came here and it was my first time. I snorted that time. Since I came here, i've done meth at least 15 times, and I smoked the last two times. I've stayed up for 3 days one time. I hate meth but sometimes I do it just because my friends do it and I don't want to be tired while they are up.

I want to get out of here. I feel so lost but so complacent. Food and drugs are extremely plentiful here. Handouts are frequent. We get free shit constantly. But once night hits and you're on meth riding your bike down the boardwalk by Ozone and you get harassed by Shoreline Crips or some crazy tweaker and you're mobbing towards the police station at 20 mph on your bike... It's then that you think, damn, why the fuck am I here.

Don't know where this entry belongs but I'll leave it in culture. Feel free to ask questions.

That's rough, can you find housing or move back in with your parents or friends? Stay safe.

 

[Jabberwocky]

This made me actually depressed. My love died in 2011 and he was from Venice. Then he got involved in that lifestyle around there. Arrested. Ect, ect, ect. Then one day he overdosed and died. He was born in 1991... so around your age when he passed.

Be safe out there and maybe try to get out. Fuck it, travel. There's less scary places out there

You can change your story...

I was homeless at 18 too. I remember sitting on a bench with my mom and we didn't know what to do.

I'm now 24 and have a home. Finally living my dreams.

OP that sounds devastating especially at your age,

Faded could you maybe elaborate on how you got out maybe to help the OP (if it's not too intrusive)?

 

[xstayfadedx]

OP that sounds devastating especially at your age,

Faded could you maybe elaborate on how you got out maybe to help the OP (if it's not too intrusive)?

Well, I got accepted into five different universities, but put that on hold and lived in a domestic violence shelter with my mom. We both enrolled into the local community college and I already had a job. I used the money from my grants to cover rent when we left the shelter. Worked my ass off. I had my first lease at the age of 18. Luckily right before we got kicked out of the shelter/transitional program (they were corrupt, long story)... my grandma helped us stay at a hotel for a moment. Then we saved enough to move into the apartments across the street. There are various ways and programs.... state assistance. It depends on the situation.

Other than that, continued with school. Kept working.... then got a better job and still worked my old one. Full time and part time. This was while becoming a heroin addict because of the situation and it made me want to die.... but kept going for some reason, glad I did (off that shit for 3 plus years now).

Now, I moved out of that hell hole and live in another state. Moved in October and my mom went back home to Connecticut finally. She needed to leave that place too. Best decision I ever made.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Well, I got accepted into five different universities, but put that on hold and lived in a domestic violence shelter with my mom. We both enrolled into the local community college and I already had a job. I used the money from my grants to cover rent when we left the shelter. Worked my ass off. I had my first lease at the age of 18. Luckily right before we got kicked out of the shelter/transitional program (they were corrupt, long story)... my grandma helped us stay at a hotel for a moment. Then we saved enough to move into the apartments across the street. There are various ways and programs.... state assistance. It depends on the situation.

Other than that, continued with school. Kept working.... then got a better job and still worked my old one. Full time and part time. This was while becoming a heroin addict because of the situation and it made me want to die.... but kept going for some reason, glad I did (off that shit for 3 plus years now).

Now, I moved out of that hell hole and live in another state. Moved in October and my mom went back home to Connecticut finally. She needed to leave that place too. Best decision I ever made.

Fair play man sounds like it was hard and took a lot of work. Respect.

 

[xstayfadedx]

Fair play man sounds like it was hard and took a lot of work. Respect.

This was a blog back when I was 18... without hope and I asked if everything was going to be okay.

I went from this:
http://bluelight.org/vb/entries/5447-everything-s-going-to-be-okay#comments

As you may or may not already know this past year has been a hectic one for me. From going through severe depression, my best friend and boyfriend of 5 years dying, living in an abusive home, being evicted, my mother being arrested, my sister and I running away, being sent to group homes and placements, homelessness, shelters and college dreams put off (not because of choice)..... Sounds like fun, right? Oh, how I wish I could look back and laugh about that all but there's no way I can do that now. Its so depressing reading my TDS thread back when this all happened.... Back when everything I had was taken away from me in the blink of an eye. My hope, my dreams and everything in between gone in a matter of seconds. So here I am now eighteen and laying in a bed that isn't mine; living in a place that will never be mine. Just another place that I will soon have to leave because I've never had a sense of security, so why would I have that now? This is transitional housing and sooner than later you're going to have to leave. This is nothing new to you.

This is how I always lived my life. My life was never easy and never did I expect it to be. I mean yes I did wish it could of been and I would love to have been born into a rich family or even a stable one but as you can see that's not what happened. What happened was I was born into a family with many problems, no security, a mother who tried but only was put down by my once abusive father, being also put down by an abusive father, going to foster care for a year because of your father and to only then end up being abused there, then coming back home, living what seemed to be a stable life but then back to abuse and evictions, back to a stable life, back to an unstable one.... The cycle just was never ending. Yet, throughout that all I had managed to still have dreams, hopes and aspirations. All this had made me strong, at least I thought it did.

Yet, here I am at age eighteen and I have finally broken down. How does this happen? After years of going strong even though everything around you was a mess. Its hard to believe the kid at age eight or ten was stronger than the kid I am now. I have finally broken. I can't seem to piece myself back together and the sad thing is I don't want to. I have finally reached the point in my life where I truly can say I'm done. I can't do this anymore. I've tried and I've tried but only to be let down once again. I really don't understand why I deserved this. Yes, I may have slipped up and used drugs at the age of fifteen but even before that my life was pretty much shit and after I started using it was still the same. Nothing had changed except for the false sense of happiness I had received from the self medication. So why even try anymore? That's what I've been doing for so long but nothing has come out of it, nothing at all.

I know I could go to college in the fall even though I should of already been in it... I know I can get back on my feet again and move out of this place. I know I can get clean because I have before but why do I no long want to do any of that? Why do I just want to say fuck it all and do nothing? Seriously at this point I'm not sure if I will make it to twenty one let alone nineteen and the sad thing is I'm okay with that. I'm okay with dying. I'm not going to take my own life but I know my actions now will surely increase my chances of doing so. The old me would of never allowed this to happen but who I once was is no longer who I am now.

And I keep hearing everything is going to be alright. Everything is going to be okay but really is that true?

To now the person I am today my life hasn't ever been the easiest, but for once it has gotten a lot easier. I also have a strong support system for once. I always just had myself and people on bluelight....