Opiates - Retrospective - Description of the Opiate High

[Prescottdave]

I also found the poppy pod tea was usually the best and most cost effective. Then things changed and pods tripled in price. Went to suboxone. I found the long term side effects of the suboxone feel more debilitating compared to the poppy pods. Well written TR. I find the soul sucking grief shame and burden that opioid addiction creates and instilled partly by our culture took a good ten years to sink in also manifesting in my 30's.

 

[Runningfox]

Great read. Ty

 

[ItWasMagical]

Jesus christ, are you me? Cause this has been my experience. This certainly lays it down, man, and what's worse is that nobody thinks it's gonna happen to them...

 

[Xorkoth]

Yeah man, I'm you. Well in the greater sense I do actually believe that we're all the same awareness. But that's beside the point of this report.

It's true, no one thinks it'll happen to them. You see the same exact sequence of behaviors/thoughts/rationalizations every time. The arrogance of the inexperienced...

Are you also free of opiates now? I have been for 4 years.

 

[ItWasMagical]

Nope. I'm still full-on in the middle of this. Honestly, I think it's still getting worse, and will continue to get worse for months or years, before I hit my rock bottom.

 

[Runningfox]

Opiates are mostly dangerous because of costs,not being available and dose escalating,if these factors are not given they are pretty good.It also depends on your mindset,i think every opiate addict starts out with drug seeking behaviour,

**** nope. Not those of us whom became Hooked simply Because of long term medical use of our own prescriptions at our own prescribed doses, then were suddenly cut off by the doctors.

 

[udogg]

for whatever it is worth that letter made me come clean to some of family who have no idea i have a problem. That is a start. I am at the 6th paragraph where i started doing the taking time off and struggling with it (ie my first withdrawals after years of using it "as needed" to "for fun" to "now daily" for past few months.) I hope i can do it without a program. Now that i told people
in my family that should help hold me a little more accountable. Hopefully , that is enough. mine got worse when it became easier for me to get. I am sure that is the case for many on here. i suppose i have to stay away from my friends that do them? I assume these have all been disucssed numerous times here, but any advice wuold be appreciated. My biggest question is who has had success without a program and any advice with that, would be helpful. I think that that the 50mg ish (probably more if i am honest about the past few weeks with a pill here and a pill there) a day range that i am at and have been for 4 to 6 months is hopefully doeable.

And Xorkoth thank you for being the one to hopefully start me on the path to an opiate free life. Like everyone here i cant believe I got to this point.

Feel free to reach out and keeping me honest honest or i will hopefully post my progress.

 

[Xorkoth]

Hey there, I'm glad this had an effect on you. That's a great move coming clean to family, it really helps to keep you accountable. When I finally told my friends and family, it really helped me to not go back on my progress. I mean, I did fail more before I succeeded, but when I was keeping it secret, I felt like it would have never ended.

The good news is that if you've only been doing it daily for a few months, you're pretty early in. You should check out The Dark Side forum (also a part of Bluelight), it's a great place that is designed to provide support for people experiencing drug problems (and other problems) in life. Start a thread there and you'll get some great replies. I'll reply there myself when I get a chance. I'd like to say more now but I'm running late and I need to head out for a while.

Here is the link to The Dark Side forum: http://www.bluelight.org/vb/forums/47-The-Dark-Side

Good luck. Admitting you have a problem is the first step, and telling your loved ones is the next. Some more good news is that I was addicted for 10 years, and now I've been free for 4 years. You can do it.

 

[udogg]

as long as we are being honest here i have been taking opiods since i hurt my back 4-5 years ago. I just have increased significantly due to "pain" and access to them over the past 6 months. honesty starts now ...for at least today.... and at least to you guys

 

[Runningfox]

Good deal udogg.
Oh! Pls be aware of the opiate-induced hyperalgesia. That means while you're still takin pills and esp in the beginning stages of Clean time, your original pain WILL often times return or be worse than before. This does not last forever; it gets better the longer you're off opiates. It even gets to the point where a regular dose of Aleve helps your pain again.

I cannot give you a time frame on that however because each person's pain and tolerance to pain are different . But it does improve.

You can BEAT this, udogg.
Beat it like it owes you money!

 

[tubgirl.jpg]

Amazing. Thank you for this.

I'm still in the honeymoon-phase.
Three days sober, but I'm already planning my next fix (subutex).

It's fucked up how easily one can manipulate oneself.

 

[Psychedalienation]

Of all the opiates I tried, it was the strongest, best and most addictive, for me.

That's crazy! I have done tramadol, codeine, hydrocodone, oxycodone, and heroin (don't remember it but was told that I did it [16mg Alp plus half a bottle of vodka]).

Oxycodone at 20mg with no tolerance is my tied for my 3rd favorite drug experience with my second ketamine trip following my first shrooms trip and in first place, 200mg MDMA. It felt like 15 orgasms happening all at once. I laid in my bed and thought to myself, "Damn, this is wayyyy too good for me to be fucking around with, I already know myself". I laid there in the dark in my soft bed for 3 hours in complete euphoria. The opiate itch was not like that of codeine, where you feel high but then every fucking 3 seconds you have to itch and it's god damn annoying, but instead every time I itched a spot, it felt like heaven radiating from that spot around my whole body. Even though I said I wouldn't fuck with it again, I did 20mg the next day. This time, I had to be high in front of my parents and family and it was so god damn irritating. I would keep going to the bathroom to nod off so I could get some sort of peaceful high. I ended up just being super irritable and failing to nod alot in the restroom. After that, I said might as well use this to my advantage and get rid of these while I'm still fresh out of a bad experience. I sold all the remaining oxys the next day.

I have not done oxycodone since then but I have purchased pills that I thought were oxys and were fake non-psychoactive pills. But it's the thought that counts, right?

Anyways the point of this was I would have never thought that drinking poppy tea could ever compare to a high so supreme like oxycodone's. Blows my mind. I've done minimal research on pod tea and what I have found out is that dosages are unreliable therefore making it easy for a heavy user to overdose. Seems that most like it but would rather take pills or H.

Have you ever OD'd on pod tea?

 

[George27]

Anyways the point of this was I would have never thought that drinking poppy tea could ever compare to a high so supreme like oxycodone's. Blows my mind.

For years you could buy the pods for the tea on ebay ( oh yes! ten years ago, probably you was too young but not me...) and there was not a rush of buyer.
I've tried once , they are not so good. But I am not an opiates lover.

Ps
A bravo to Xorkoth, his post describe really well opiate addiction.

 

[Xorkoth]

Have you ever OD'd on pod tea?

Nope, I've never ODd, period.

 

[Morninggloryseed]

That sounds like my experience. Got into pods when they were literally dirt cheap (2002) but by the time it was 2007 the price boomed and I went to suboxone.
What years did your journey begin?

I also found the poppy pod tea was usually the best and most cost effective. Then things changed and pods tripled in price. Went to suboxone. I found the long term side effects of the suboxone feel more debilitating compared to the poppy pods. Well written TR. I find the soul sucking grief shame and burden that opioid addiction creates and instilled partly by our culture took a good ten years to sink in also manifesting in my 30's.

 

[mrxtz]

Great write up firstly, Secondly I'd share mine.

It was a few years ago, I'd over come some serious anxiety issues i was having related to people around me & my life in a whole general consensus. I solved all the issues I was having & life was great. I found new caring friends who weren't too into drugs like the old group i used to hang around. I remember during the winter season, we would all hang out and have a good time outside & one of these friends would do Oxy's occasionally. He never came up to me and offered however I slightly over heard him saying he was on one while we were bullshitting around. Now, I've tried just about every drug under the sun besides what I felt were hard drugs such as Heroin,Meth & PCP. I viewed Heroin as a very dirty thing that I would be addicted to instantly If i tried, I even had people offer it to me numerous times during my younger years. I always rejected it. Back to where I left off, So I over heard him and I knew that i wanted to try an opiate, I knew that Oxy's are pharm grade so its not dirty product someone cooked out somewhere & I knew that I can break it up, scale it out and start small. All the boxes checked out for me. So, I came up and asked him if he has any or know someone that I can get it from. He said ofcourse , let me call my guy. I ended up getting a Green oxy 15mg i believe those were. I didnt snort it, I broke it in half and ingested it. Waited 15-20 minutes and felt the come up, Which was nice , Felt relaxed. While it was good, I didn't feel like it was all what people made it out to be. I know personally, Drugs dont effect me that hard on the first times I take it. Happened with X and a few others. So i decided to give it another go. Contacted the person again, he called his friend and this was the time that I fell into the fake product line. Purchased my first fake pill. Which I didn't take btw, I got home, Inspected it before taking and something felt funny. Coming from the X game, I noticed this was a pressed pill right away and the filler was just garboooo. What a disappointment....

I ended up becoming good friends with the first friends main supplier & he became my trusted supply for years to come. Anyways, Back to the related post topic. My second time doing Oxy's I got a blue pill (A215's) , This one I thought, Hey, Lets rail this fucking one & see if it makes any difference. Boy oh boy did I have a good time. I felt like now I understand why people take these. Felt warm,relaxed,confident, enjoyed my gaming sessions and conversations online. While I knew and told myself, I can't be taking these every day. I know there is a possibility of getting addicted & having withdrawals. So I followed through, For Months I would either buy 1-2 of them each week or every other week & just enough to last me Friday-Sunday. Pretty good right? I thought so too. Until one day, I thought foolishly, Lets do a binge. Although it didnt really work out like that. I bought Monday, Ended up railing the whole 30 over a few hours. Went to work, came back thought why the hell not, one more wont hurt. Well, that went on through the week. Saturday I purchased as usual and last me until Sunday. I figured I wasn't physically addicted so there wont be an issue for using for a whole week since people take these as meds and no way would they get withdrawals from one week of constant use.

Sunday night came around, I used as usual. I was in for a rude awakening apparently. Sunday night, I had an awful dream that I will probably never forget because it was so vivid. I won't get into the details of it but it was dark,1940's graininess of color. I woke up the middle of the night and had an awful pain on the left area of my body near the stomach. As if someone sliced me and I came back to life. In addition, I woke up grasping for air. I felt that I might have od'ed in sleep and some how came back to life. I remember it took me a few seconds to come out. I only later found out that I should not sleep while being on opiates, its dangerous, especially if I'm railing full pills that are IR. After that day, I went to work & everyone mentioned how pale i looked, Felt like shit, speaking of shit, I could not shit for couple days. I actually took powdered fiber later in the week to help me move my stool. Had RLS, sweats, I was in withdrawal. Which honestly shocked me but at the end of it, I told myself, what am I so shocked about. I knew this was coming.

Thankfully, being a person who can control himself since I have done so before & the experience I went through that night. I stopped for over 2 or 3 years now. Now thats without being said that, I feel like an asshat for throwing away my remainder blues after that situation since I can no longer find a legit source for them anymore. It was the right thing to do at the time so I wouldn't make a mistake in my recovery process. I learned that this slippery slope can happen to anyone at anytime. Even for myself who is very good at being self controlled. I honestly don't view heroin and addicts & part time users in the same light as I used to. Became a very eye opening experience for me to say the very least. I also feel that what you mentioned in your post is very true & i personally feel like once an addict always an addict mentally. Not in the sense that even if you get clean & pass your withdrawals you're not clean but personally, Every year since that time, Come December, I have a craving. I want to rail an Oxy and enjoy the festive time of christmas feeling warm,cozy & game through the night, converse.

Would I ever take Oxy's again, Yes I would. Should i? Probably not. Will i? Most likely. All i know is that If i follow my basics rules & not break them & NOT LIE to myself or my rules, I can do it 3 times in a year with no issue. Some might find this mentality straight retarded since some here might have started their heroin fueled addiction this way. I'd like to say everyone is different and most people will say the rules will not work but yet here I am, 3 years clean even though I have had the opportunity to snort some I didn't follow through. Giving me enough time to fully a)Get rid of the tolerance I built B)Work on my restraint and follow through with my commitments. Otherwise I know I would be a full blown heroin addict in no time.
Lastly i'd like to say, I would love to try heroin but I have to follow my rules and stay away from it. While my perception of being an addict from one time use has changed. The stronger and better effects people who have done them has solidified my choice of never trying it. I feel like I'll miss out & not have my bucket list box checked, It will probably save me from going through what started off as an every other day Oxy use to a binge. I wish everyone and anyone battling opiate addiction & god speed with their recovery!

Hope someone enjoyed my experience and insight into my opiate days. Thanks for reading if you did

P.S - What the actual fucked happened to all the supply on the East Coast. It seems all thats out there is Fake pressed Fent pills & Fent mixed heroin.

 

[Munchie]

I got a total of 35 milligrams of diamorphine intravenously in hospital for severe pain over a few hours post surgery. The feeling was as Xorkoth describes for an unaccustomed user, easily the most peaceful, contented feeling I have ever had in my life, slightly euphoric, not caring about anything. I remember the oxygen saturation was down at 90% due to the hypoventilation it was causing. For months I was thinking about this feeling every day and even now I go back to the thoughts. I can see how the first high really sets the scene for addiction and I'm pretty sure if I used it a few more times I would be there.

 

[Runningfox]

I got a total of 35 milligrams of diamorphine intravenously in hospital for severe pain over a few hours post surgery. The feeling was as Xorkoth describes for an unaccustomed user, easily the most peaceful, contented feeling I have ever had in my life, slightly euphoric, not caring about anything. I remember the oxygen saturation was down at 90% due to the hypoventilation it was causing. For months I was thinking about this feeling every day and even now I go back to the thoughts. I can see how the first high really sets the scene for addiction and I'm pretty sure if I used it a few more times I would be there.

Indeed.
That's when ya know -- the thing that's physically / mentally felt the BEST IN THIS WORLD, is probably the stuff you need to avoid for the rest of your life.

I often feel badly for those addicted to regularly used high dose opiate drugs-- what's gonna happen when they get hurt in a car crash or come down with debilitating illness and are given legit medications that Normally would numb a person's pain? Their tolerance will be so high they won't get relief, and actually may even have Withdrawals from their outside drug use On Top Of the pain n suffering of the injury or illness. God help them.

 

[Munchie]

Indeed.
That's when ya know -- the thing that's physically / mentally felt the BEST IN THIS WORLD, is probably the stuff you need to avoid for the rest of your life.

I often feel badly for those addicted to regularly used high dose opiate drugs-- what's gonna happen when they get hurt in a car crash or come down with debilitating illness and are given legit medications that Normally would numb a person's pain? Their tolerance will be so high they won't get relief, and actually may even have Withdrawals from their outside drug use On Top Of the pain n suffering of the injury or illness. God help them.

That's true. A lot of people end up being given morphine or fentanyl to relieve pain in terminal illness too and I bet it makes the whole process of approaching death very unthreatening and peaceful. It would be good to have an opioid-naieve brain for that.

 

[Hydr0lisk_]

Really nice to read.

I'm at beginning now, more specifically at the edge ... I feel that I'll not hold the balance for long time to stay there .... at one side is bottomless abyss where my life is "all right, socialized, easy to communicate, enjoyable and etc..." at second is my "normal depressive chewed daily life routine" .... with my girlfriend, well-paid work, happy family life and lot of ambitions....when I first time heard about opiates and the addiction to them (deeply), it was at high school .... I was laughing when I read/heard about people who shoot H first time IV and "get addicted" instantly .... it seem so impossible for me, nothing can't be that bad to hook u first time so badly..... later I'd realized that how much I was wrong and naive ....

No one who never tried opiates, cannot feel that "feeling" from doing them, I said "feeling" cause I don't wanna describe general euphoria and the sweet well-being on them, for me it's just that good feeling like for everyone else who tried them .... we all got our personal feelings

I first tried 5/325 Norco for my toothache (I was very long time panicly afraid of dentist so when I realised that I need to go to dentist in my life, it was too late for conventional teeth warfare, lot of teeth must go out and I developed chronic pain....I lived for next 7 years with holding that pain with combination of NSAID, APAP and other conventional painkiller warfare and with my will of course, I never speak about it with my doc cause I was just afraid), got it from friend who had it for backpain...I don't feel any high at the first time after pop, I was just without pain, after 7 years, it was seem impossible, I didn't wanna to belive it...at this stage I wasn't aware about opiates like a medication ... I knew opiates as a final step in drug abuse and self-destroing habitation with IV ROA as was doing disgusting "junkies" at railway station .... I NEVER can imagine doing something like this in my whole life, it's disgusting for me and I have panic fear of needles..(for now) ..... during last 2 weeks I was imagined me in that situation X times, even worse as I slowly reading all experiences/withdrawals at forums....it's realy fast and I really don't wanna speak about rationalizations :'( that's something what realy crawls me and tearing my brain and soul to pieces .... sadly, really

So when the pain comes back after 8-10 hours and painless night with the best sleep ever... u all must know, the pain was worse, I was like: why I have to live with pain if I can get those pills? About 1 hour after waking up, phone rings and it was my pill friend, he asked about pain, if it was helpfull and if I want some more just for sure to have, he was aware of my toothache and lack of medication....so we had a coffee, some cigs at dogwalk and I was at route to home with 10 5/325 Norcos and 3 5/xxx Percos....It was calmy Friday evening and I was full of sights of painless weekend, chill out with beloved gf and new life ..... what a trap

So....I pop one Norco and again enjoying the painless times, still fully "unaware" of true side and pottency of opioids, it holds until Sunday morning and I didn't pop another cause NSAIDs,APAP and OTC stuff was working perfectly now after that weekend, I saw it like another stronger painkiller which I using occasionaly for breakthrough pain....during week I did not think about them, I was thinking about painless life and realised that I can go to doc to ask about it, I can go to dentist to ask about it... at the Friday evening next weekend I pop another Norco and preparing myself for another chill out .... after about 90 minutes nothing happened and I started to feel afraid that it will not work cause that I don't have much OTC stuff that day and I pop it after dinner, not on empty stomach....and THERE is it my friends, THERE it comes, I popped 2 more Norcos bout 1h40m after first, and always better be sure... so after next 20 mins (pain and inner crawling for my Friday evening reward after hard week in work was graduating) I popped next one... so it was 5 mg + 15mg that evening......after approx 3 hours after first candy I felt in love, I just found the opioid high at his fully scale how's it suppose be .... after 2 hours I take 1 more, after next 2 hours I take one more ..... Sunday morning I was out of Norcos, just Percos left, they still in drawer, safely now but I know they waiting patiently for the right time.

I don't wanna throw them away for now....I can't, maybe one day I'll need them (sounds kinda familiar to lot of you isn't?)

So now as been told at beginning, I'm on the edge, I don't have any more of them (except that hidden sneaky Percos), but I can easily get them.....and I still remember how it's be without pain and now I got burned this down deep in my brain and body, that sensual euphoric uplifting opiate high what I felt that evening and next day....I'm not naive drug user who just shooting everything what I obtain, again just for now I'm very sophisticated person, I doing lot of deep thinking and logic questions of my life, lot of understanding about the world and of all beings around ... I did some drugs recreationaly past time (stims,pot,LSD,MDMA,shrooms,salvia,benzos and DXM) but nothing of that is like pharms for me, it's totally different world what I found (again sadly)

I don't drink alco, 100%, never, even beer....doing pot now for few years almost everyday.....but now, now I'm really afraid of shores where I slowly starting to settle up.

After I readed that thread, I was in so hard need write down this sentences, like I felt now it's time to write them, a lot of weight of frustration, thinking, inner itching and guilty feels fell down from my head and shoulders guys. If this thread is closed or my post belongs to somewhere else, u all got my apologizes.

All take care plz and stay away of Opiates, cause if u once open the Pandoras box, u will never want anything else than keep opening all the other small boxes which are in each one single box....

#differentlookattheworld