• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT

Alcohol is the root of all evil. I’m done.

M

merseyside8

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 17, 2017
Messages
49
I had a life episode in June while mistaking meth for coke. In and out of hospitals for 3-4 days and thought I was gonna die. Have anxiety issues. Alcohol just influences these type of things on me. I’m sick of it. I’ve probably done coke like 15 times my whole life..... I did it again yesterday. I’m so anxious right now. I guess I have to give up alcohol. I wanna give up the friends who have it on them all the time. I could have 1 beer and it’ll influence me to do it. Now I feel like I’m gonna have a heart attack. Had like 5-6 bumps last night. I come here for comfort. Why can’t we be normal? I was doing so well. Alcohol just ruins everything...... I used it like 5-6 hours ago. Are the peak effects gone now?
 
Are we talking about the coke? If so yeah you should be long past the peak
 
Yea. I’m just venting as well. I believe for me it’s never “just to have a drink”

Im not saying it’s my friends fault. But if he’s not around I don’t do it.

Do I cut him off or cut off the alcohol?
 
Also on antidepressants. Does Lexapro make the comedown of come usage worse? Or can taking my medication help?
 
Friends beat alcohol ime. Try talking to them and bringing up that the alcohol is causing you problems. If they're a good friend they'll understand
 
Huh... I just shot up Coke for the first time in years.. my roommate had some. I did some Thanksgiving also , and today about 5 hours ago. I didn't enjoy it.. I had to drink vodka till I could stand to be in my own body...
I'm not one for uppers.. anyway... Drinking has caused me alot of problems.. I really can't drink... Man... It makes everything so much worse. It intensifies my problems so much it's ridiculous I would even think about "going to the store".. It makes me hate myself.!!!. Im just begging myself... daily... Please don't drink anymore , eh???
When I'm alone I seem to do ok... Uh... Besides the coke and vodka earlier... I got work tomorrow... I was gonna try and sleep... I messed around on Facebook some... Time to try and sleep . Im just hoping for better days.. for some strength... I've been on drugs, got off em... I've stopped drinking a few times in my life... I'm surprised this is proving to be so hard.... I mean... I've just put it down in the past.... Idk.... I feel you though... It does make everything worse.... I overdosed once , really because I was drunk ... I wasn't careful... I do really retarded things drunk... Hell my feet will never be the same... (Lol. Jumping off crap).
I really just hate myself ... I feel so awful.
Hey if those friends you are talking about arnt GOOD friends of yours...
Lose em.
You don't need em. If you are going to get well , you gotta make sacrifices..
Like the people in your life that aren't going to help you get to be your better self... Ya just lose em...
 
When done together, alcohol and cocaine form a new drug called cocaethylene which lasts a lot longer than cocaine does. Taking a combination of any drug together can have compounding effects due to the way drugs are metabolized and removed from the body, even if there are no direct drug interactions.

If your goal is to get clean, it's probably not a bad idea to drop the friends that are always partying/getting high and drinking. I still talk to as many friends as possible, regardless of their habits, but my interactions with most of them has become extremely limited. A good way to tell how authentic friendships are is if you still have things in common once partying and drugs are removed. Besides wasting time with empty friendships, being around people with negative lifestyles or bad habits is generally not a good influence, especially if you are trying to stop a behavior/habit. Find people you can socialize with in a positive manner, people who have similar sense of humor and interests. If you need to get intoxicated to have things in common, well there isn't much to the friendship IME.

Your anxiety levels will probably go down if you stop drinking as well. Anxiety is a side effect from drinking.
 
"I'm not one for uppers.. anyway... Drinking has caused me alot of problems.. I really can't drink... Man... It makes everything so much worse. It intensifies my problems so much it's ridiculous I would even think about "going to the store".. It makes me hate myself.!!!. Im just begging myself... daily... Please don't drink anymore , eh???
When I'm alone I seem to do ok... Uh... Besides the coke and vodka earlier... I got work tomorrow... I was gonna try and sleep... I messed around on Facebook some... Time to try and sleep . Im just hoping for better days.. for some strength... I've been on drugs, got off em... I've stopped drinking a few times in my life... I'm surprised this is proving to be so hard.... I mean... I've just put it down in the past.... Idk.... I feel you though... It does make everything worse.... ".

Yompf, I feel you on this. It's almost as if the speed makes my drinking worse so that I can come down to some sort of normalcy. The drinking is by far the ring leader tho. I also have gotten off drugs, hard one's and picked up the bottle just as hard. Using to get drunk just feel normal, that is not good I know. Having been in rehab for an Opiate addiction that lasted 15 years. I always heard ppl turn to the booz! It sucks but your certainly not alone. Ive managed to keep my job but who knows when that could erupt. I have binge episodes too, do you? ''
 
Binging

I have binge episodes. Horrible. I documented them. Day 1 of abstinence = impending doom/anxiety, Day 1/2 - inflammation of chest/body, Day 3/4 - dry / cracked skin on face. All days (green poop, sorry for the visual). I'm usually ok after one day of recovery, but to really recover ...For the skin, takes way longer (30 days): http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/a...akes-face-heal-night-reaching-glass-wine.html

I've been trying to quit (repetitive, ongoing cycle) drinking and smoking cigs. It's like one breeds the other. I know this isn't as bad as trying to quit heroin and other shit I see here. I still feel like shit. I tried to vape to quit smoking cigs, did not work. Then when I smoke, I want to drink. This really sucks. Well, anyway, Just wanted to share.
 
Booze are a touchy area for me too. If I drink too much I start craving coke.
 
I hate myself when I drink. (Too much) It's just compulsive when I'm hanging out with anyone.
It literally feels like my 32 is really a baby bottle . Like I'm a little toddler who doesn't know how to handle life / myself or other people or myself being reflected by them.
Idk if that's harsh but I feel like that alot.
Apparently something called "kindling" has made it so I get actually "physically" dependant after a very short period of time.
Can anyone imagine that?
I have to think booze now as dangerous as zanex or Heroine now... Wtf... Like I'll get withdrawals if I over due it . After not a couple weeks .
I don't even understand how this could actually happen to me and I've never heard of one person who goes through this.
Maybe it's a good thing because I might just have to force myself to be sober.
Or maybe I'll do my plan of benzos for a week and opiates for another week. As to not get addicted.( I'll make another thread about that.)
 
Bttubbs

Btubbs it’s opposite for me I take adderall and makes me want it more the booze I mean. It’s a balance but not a healthy one. I was drunk when I typed 1st one. Coming down from holiday and just staying in my positive blogs and guitar. Didn’t drink as much today so I won’t sleep it’s a wicked trade off. Pidialite helps me,. The strawberry kind. I’m also self medicating with it as many have in this blog had opiate addiction then this bs I know I’m strong after that. Anyway I really like this blog! It’s positive and I learn a lot!
 
Last edited:
i love iv coke, just laltely ive been turning into an asshole when i blackout, well at least i found the rest of my vodka,only 4hours til i can buy a drink i miss having money, i think im going to get a greyhoun\d
 
merseyside8 said:
Yea. I’m just venting as well. I believe for me it’s never “just to have a drink”

Im not saying it’s my friends fault. But if he’s not around I don’t do it.

Do I cut him off or cut off the alcohol?
Click to expand...

Cut off anyone who is tempting you to keep drinking alcohol. You are on a different journey of being sober now, don't compromise it. Someone else mentioned explaining it to the person, but I doubt your friend is going to stop drinking just because you want to. That's why you need to look out for yourself and distance yourself from those holding you back.

Drinking is no longer fun for me. I had beer a week ago and I didn't even get a fun buzz from it. All I felt was depressed and my body felt like crap the next day. It is so not worth it at all. I am done with alcohol for good and going into the new year is a perfect time to leave it behind.
 
yompf said:
I hate myself when I drink. (Too much) It's just compulsive when I'm hanging out with anyone.
It literally feels like my 32 is really a baby bottle . Like I'm a little toddler who doesn't know how to handle life / myself or other people or myself being reflected by them.
Idk if that's harsh but I feel like that alot.
Apparently something called "kindling" has made it so I get actually "physically" dependant after a very short period of time.
Can anyone imagine that?
I have to think booze now as dangerous as zanex or Heroine now... Wtf... Like I'll get withdrawals if I over due it . After not a couple weeks .
I don't even understand how this could actually happen to me and I've never heard of one person who goes through this.
Maybe it's a good thing because I might just have to force myself to be sober.
Or maybe I'll do my plan of benzos for a week and opiates for another week. As to not get addicted.( I'll make another thread about that.)
Click to expand...

Booze actually is as dangerous as Xanax and other benzos. Withdrawing from benzos can kill you and withdrawing from alcohol can kill you. Withdrawal from heroin and other opiates will not kill you, but just make you feel awful.
It is not surprising you're having withdrawal symptoms from alcohol. Yes, force yourself to stay sober. Gabapentin helps alcohol withdrawals if you can get that somehow. You should be fine with the benzos for a short period though.
 
totally relate to everything here. I simple CANT have ONE drink, because I'll start craving coke immediately. I've combined the two probably over 300 times now so the pathway is built in my brain now. My life was way better when I was just a pothead...alcohol led me to every bad thing in life...
 
dude, I don't get hangovers. I have straight up withdrawals, which include hallucinations, extreme sweating and shaking. insomnia, a sense of impending doom. It sucks.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top