TDS How to come clean to your parents about drug use.

[isaaccain]

Long post, buckle in. I think that I'm probably psychologically addicted to MDMA and amphetamine.

Right so I got two yellow shells. Yellow shells used to be the cheapest weakest pill on the island but they've just started to get good. Whoever's pressing them now is putting about one and a half times the MDMA that was in the old yellow shells. So these new power shells are probably just about the same strength as a Levi or an Ikea, somewhere in the range of 200-250mg. Anyway I've double dropped shells before so when I got these I thought it would be no big deal. I sniffed one and swallowed the other. Then my mate tells me that they're the power shells and they start freaking out and saying they need to call an ambulance. A friend called 999 but I took the phone and put it down straight away. Obviously it's a 999 call so they have to come. Two police officers come through the door and immediately go 'I can smell cannabis', which I'm not fucked about but the friend who called 999 apparently texted them and said that I'd had two of these power shells. When they got here and I was obviously fine he said it was meant to be as a joke and he accidentally sent it and called to say no cancel that I was messing and they believed him somehow but they took him home and would have searched him and he had empty bags of mandy hidden on him so if they found that they'd have something to say. That with the 'joke' texts they'll probably end up saying not believing us when we say we weren't on it. Obviously all this is at my house so my parents are going to be contacted by the police. If my dad asks me to tell him truthfully if I was on it I really want to just come clean about how I've been heavy on this stuff for months now because I want him to know how I'm spending my money because I just sold my TV and my dad wants to buy it back using the money I got for it but that's all gone. If he never even asks me if I was on it then I won't just confess too everything randomly but if he asks me anything about pills I want to just come clean. So what do I say? And should I come clean? I'm just sick of scavenging little bits of money together so that I can get fucked for one night and then wake up a wreck. I can't do anything unless I have the motivation of pills or speed to get me there.

Anyway I'd like help with how to tell my dad that I'm psychologically addicted to pills.

 

[Mafioso]

A little off topic, but have you ever tested your pills? It is possible that they are mostly amphetamine based or a research chemical like methylone. It's something to consider when attempting to deal with cravings and withdrawal symptoms. It is what it is though, I just bring it up for sake of awareness.

Anyways, I would think the way in which you approach your dad would depend a lot on your relationship with him. Ultimately, there is no easy way to tell a parent about your drug use, IME. If you're being honest about an addiction or drug abuse, there isn't really a way to lay it on gently without withholding facts. I would think that preface it by saying you have something important you need to talk about and find a time when you are both relatively calm and have time to talk. Tell him you have a problem and that you want help or you don't want to be stuck on pills, that you want to end the cycle... just be honest about your situation. I would start off by being fairly general and direct and allowing him to ask questions about specifics. Having someone there as a buffer might help if you guys have a volatile relationship.

I would think he will appreciate your honesty and you willingness to be forthcoming. It shows a lot of maturity and a desire to change. It'd be a lot better that you bring it up rather than him finding out from another source or having to catch you in the act after months or years of looming suspicion.

Being honest about addiction is a big step in the recovery process. Having someone else who is able to support you through your withdrawal and recovery is huge. Emotional support is a necessity for most of us, if not all of us. Accountability is not always pleasant but can be very beneficial as well.

 

[oozingplazma]

Ok I am going to giving a genuine, whole hearted answer.
Please keep in mind, my answer is biased towards my experiences in life.
So I am 25, and began my drug experimentation phase at 15. It took me to be about 24 to become honest about my drug excursions to my close family (Mom, Dad, bro)
and at the point I had decided to be honest with how I felt about where I had come, I was 2 years deep into an opiate addiction (heroin and script painkillers) and keep in mind I was no stranger to addiction, having been an alcoholic for the first half of my mind altering endeavors.. All I gotta say is, be ready for them to become involved in you in a way like none other before.... the way you speak to them about your usage in combination with how they are as people will greatly determine how this event plays out for you..
if they are understanding and chill people, be straight up honest with how you feel.
If they are a little more of the naive and uptight side, as my ‘rents are, then I highly advise to use caution with how you describe your situation.
Pretty much.. in my situation, I wish I described the situation with more articulation and less depressed anxiousness... I was comin down off heroin and really sick of my bro and Mom comin down on me for acting like an ass (I was always irritated, moody, sick, hurting, bitchy, and just a vile energy to be around at times.... constant opiate withdrawal is a hell I would wish on no human..)
so when I reached out in such helpless frantic chaotic desperation, they responded in desperation. And maybe it’s purely just because of the type of peeps my parents and bro are like... well they don’t deal with heavy shit well. And I unleashed heavy shit (for their minds) and in turn they responded with treating me like a helpless child.
Dont get me wrong, they have their moments of being kind helpful people, but at times they respond to me in a condescending way.. kinda like “hey, you came to me in desperation, not knowing what to do. You don’t know what your doing “ and they ended up getting this weird high horse/savior type attitude about knowing what’s best for me and to command me what I should do with my life...

so so my best recommendation? Come at them in a mature way. Come at them in a way that makes clear, you are going through a situation that is serious to you... and you are seeking their advice for guidance, not judgement.. for clarity and in trust. The last thing you need in your situation is to be further stressed out and made to feel like shit... so you come to them wonder what you can do to possibly steer your mind in a healthier direction ... maybe don’t tell them your spiraling out of control and FEEL FUCKED.. but tell them you are simply worried about the direction you may be headed in and need some positive and supportive guidance... just some straight up mature ass support, namsayin? Haha. Worry about the heavy details when the time is truly non judgemental and your parents are willing to really “listen”.. not just freak out and have the assumptions of you that you are forever secretly a struggling downhill spiraling drug addict... again, remember my situation is highly biased to my experience with my parents hahaha..
good luck yo

 

[herbavore]

Come at them in a mature way. Come at them in a way that makes clear, you are going through a situation that is serious to you... and you are seeking their advice for guidance, not judgement.. for clarity and in trust. The last thing you need in your situation is to be further stressed out and made to feel like shit... so you come to them wonder what you can do to possibly steer your mind in a healthier direction ... maybe don’t tell them your spiraling out of control and FEEL FUCKED.. but tell them you are simply worried about the direction you may be headed in and need some positive and supportive guidance... just some straight up mature ass support, namsayin? Haha. Worry about the heavy details when the time is truly non judgemental and your parents are willing to really “listen”.. not just freak out and have the assumptions of you that you are forever secretly a struggling downhill spiraling drug addict... again, remember my situation is highly biased to my experience with my parents hahaha..
good luck yo

This is very good advice. Now I will give you the perspective of the parent (I am one). It is natural to freak out and to experience the greatest fear of your life; natural, but far from helpful. This is your child and both psychologically and maybe even more to the point, biologically, you are cast in the role of protector. One of the biggest challenges of parenthood is constantly walking the tightrope between over-control and under-control at any given age. So, try to step out of your own paradigm and meet your parents half-way--that is, advocate for what you need (support, respect, understanding) but do not forget that you are a young adult now and you too can offer support, respect and understanding for their situation. Once my son and I trusted that we wanted the same thing (a way out of his addiction) and that I understood it was not simply a matter of willpower, we were able to get past the damaging dynamics that freaking out usually produces. And just to introduce the sad reality that gives rise to parents freaking out: my son died of an overdose. This is the fear. This is why we freak out. I dare anyone to put themselves in those shoes and not do the same thing.

 

[Jabberwocky]

I think it depends on how bad your addiction is. I mean truthfully I've never understood MDMA addiction. I've used it at least 50+ times and can not see how someone can be addicted to it. However that's me and you are obviously different. When I came clean about my benzo and cocaine addiction to my parents it was horrible, absolutely horrible and that was 2 years ago. Still to this day they are different towards me. not in a way as if they don't love me but I can tell they are always slightly suspicious of anything I do (tell them about I do). If I tell them I'm going to a music festival for example you can see they really do not like the idea (I'm 28 now so they obviously don't stop me) but it's just small things like 'watch what you're up to' all the time and things like that you notice.

I think that if you can get help in other ways to actually beat your addiction successfully I personally would choose that option. If you can't then telling your parents should be your last resort in my opinion and based on my experiences. But all parents are different and act in different ways.

My parents literally just shit themselves, took control of all my bank accounts, I had to get paid from my job in to their account and they would give me small bits of money to buy things and would keep track of all of it i.e receipts for a fucking mcdonalds etc. I couldn't go out with friends they made me move back home(PLEASE BARE IN MIND I WAS 26 WHEN THIS HAPPENED). This lasted about a year but even up to 4 months ago things weren't 100% the same with them.

But I know they did this because they felt it was the only way to protect me. But it was hell for me but I HAD TO GO TO MY PARENTS I had run out of options of getting clean.

You're young and 'addicted' to MDMA I'm sure you can find other ways of getting away from this addiction without telling them. But that brings up the case of should you always be open and honest to your parents.

In short: It's your call. if you want to stop this addiction but feel you have no way of doing this without telling them them then tell them. --- if you feel you can beat the addiction without their support then go for that. (This is my opinion).

 

[Xorkoth]

I've known plenty of people with an MDMA addiction... it's just as valid an addiction as cocaine. Both are stimulants that are not physically addictive, although both can cause you to feel like shit when you're not using because your body has become used to it to feel normal. MDMA abuse is more damaging than cocaine abuse because it severely depletes your serotonin and even damages your serotonin receptors due to one of its metabolites.

People get addicted to all sorts of things. Lots of people get addicted to food. People get addicted to sex, hell people even get addicted to weird shit like eating chalk.

 

[bomber]

I mean,I realy am not sure if that's a good or a bad piece of advice, but I would never tell something like that to my parents. They will be sorry, stop trusting me, and lot's of drama will eventualy come. That's what happened when my grandparent found out I used heroin.
On the other hand, I propably wouldn't have stayied clean for about 8 months if I didn't think they'll ask me to have a drug test at some point.

 

[Xorkoth]

It just depends, really. If you just feel like you're a little out of control but you haven't been trying to quit on your own, you should probably try on your own first so as not to cause your parents pain and so as not to produce distrust between you. On the other hand, if your life has fallen apart and you need support from your family, telling them is a great idea. I told my parents when I had hit my rock bottom with opiates and decided I was gonna get clean, I was 31 of course and I live far away from them, but it really helped me to tell my loved ones so they knew where I was at, and to provide some accountability to myself. I had to build back some trust but I did and I'm really glad I told them.

 

[Jabberwocky]

I've known plenty of people with an MDMA addiction... it's just as valid an addiction as cocaine. Both are stimulants that are not physically addictive, although both can cause you to feel like shit when you're not using because your body has become used to it to feel normal. MDMA abuse is more damaging than cocaine abuse because it severely depletes your serotonin and even damages your serotonin receptors due to one of its metabolites.

People get addicted to all sorts of things. Lots of people get addicted to food. People get addicted to sex, hell people even get addicted to weird shit like eating chalk.

I completely agree, what I was trying to say is that I personally don't understand it. No disrespect or belittlement to anyone.

 

[herbavore]

I still think that your best approach would be to address the psychological problems that underlie your need to always be wrecked. If you present those to your Dad first, without even mentioning the drugs--it will make the drug aspect fit into a broader and more understandable context.