all potted up on weed and 1 10mg hydrocodone. I actually havn't been abusing my hydros much at all the past couple months, saving doses for pain episodes. Making the script last loner than a month to win my doctor's trust then go for the dose raises and upgrades to oxy.
The little cat and mouse game i have to play wiwth doctors these days sheesh.
This doctor litterally asked me how much i wanted and that i could just call ahead next time and pick up the script at the front desk. Such a cool doc. Love to see him go bigger with the script soon though
Telling my doc I ran out early was actually always the fastest way to get a dose increase from my dr's in my experience. I just went in a few days early each month until I had my desired dose. Just a few days each month, but I kept doing that and got my Rx for oc80's upped from 2x80mg to 4x80mg in a few months time this way. :D
Now, unfortunately, I don't know if I can get back on pain management or(/and) MMT if I should still need it, or want to be back on opiates and not rely solely on black market drugs for that (namely H) once I leave here (I've only been here 1 week so far, so it's honestly too soon to say what my goals for what comes after are or will be. I'm not even sure about benzos, as in will I still be able to get RX'es for those from my GP.. Since I have legit (and pretty severe) social anxiety, and haven't abused benzos in years, despite using them daily for that time. I can honestly say they improve my quality of life without any drawbacks aside from maybe dependency, but even that isn't really an issue if you never run out early (quite the opposite even).
I say that my access to those meds (via legal routes I mean of course, on the black market there is always a way and I know plenty of ppl who get way more benzos than they use, and sell off the rest). But I don't intend to pay those ridiculous prices. So anyway, the reason I'm uncertain is because of the douchebag of a dr. who had me commited to this place meddling and contacting my healthcare providers. It's just plain ridiculous that he holds that kind of power over me despite him merely being an acquintance of my father who blindly follows what he says. He does NOT really know me at all. He just lives a few houses away, which is the reason my dad knows him. But I'm really not not his patient... He really shouldn't be allowed to have any say about whether or not I'm in need of rehab, let alone be able to decide to force me while he barely knows me. What irks me the most though is that he phoned my GP and my psychiatrist though. I hope he didn't screw up the willingness from my dr. for prescribing meds for pain management or from my psychiatrist for MMT if I still think it's necessary after I leave this place. And maybe he even screwed up my access to benzos from there and I might have to find a new dr. for those.
Althpigh, the more I think about it.. I'm gonna try to get ahead of it and contact both my gp and my psychiatrist to 'alert them' (pretending i'm unaware that they already know), nd tekk them i'm still on methadone, and that I've already decided that I definitely want to get back on benzos as soon as I leave, and also that I'm here solely to get off the illegal shit (meaning heroin) and needles (they don't know that I IV oxy). And that I don't know how long I'm planning on staying yet, but that there's a good chance I will want to get back on my pain meds (or methadone @psych) when I leave here because I know I will go back to the needle and heroin otherwise. Then I can keep my options open and include them in the treatment, so they don't bitch about me disappearing without a trace and then suddenly appearing again expecting my scripts. Yeah, on monday Imma contact them myself. My goal will mainly be getting my own place and a job I can keep up despite my chronic pain.
Sorry for off-topic.
OT; 80mg methadone. Time to start group therapy for the day %).
Have a good day (or night if ur in muricah) everyone!
