Mental Health Aspergers Syndrome

[Morninggloryseed]

I believe my father is this. All of the symptoms fit. I am out of my league, my degree is in psychology and sociology and I never focused on abnormal psychology. I know there is no cure, the man actually thinks "nothing is wrong with me" and he will say that while having temper tantrums like a 5 year old. My poor mom is fit to be tied....43 years of marriage that has never...uuuuh...yeah I couldn't do it. He has no ability to have empathy for others, he is robotic in his outlook in life, one dimensional, all he ever talks about is baseball and food. He does not like me at all, complains that I am too "intellectual" and says he is "sick of my philosophizing." And I have no idea what he means, I am just me and I just talk the way I do. Most parents would be proud and I am learning to not be so hurt by those words. He says inappropriate things at the worst time, and does not realize he eats like a pig or makes as much noise as he does when he walks, moves a chair...he just is unaware of how he affects other people. he cannot read body language and he does not realize his body language suggests he is very.......uncomfortable...most of the time.

I don't even like to be around them or go over there for dinner with them.

I don't know what forum to put this in but I want to begin to learn more and learn from others about this. Perhaps even get some support.

thank you

 

[Markomarkh]

I suffer from Asperger’s syndrome or some form of autism spectrum, I get on with computers and tech better than talking to humans. This is why I’ve never had a proper girlfriend, never met anyone that can understand me or put up with my funny ways. Think I get it from dads side.

 

[Stargazer]

My husband has Asbergers. You are right on MGS. I will comment more another time. I'm feeling pretty bad right now. It's an excercise in patience and understanding for sure.

 

[Morninggloryseed]

Bless both of you. I hope you can share with me, and I'll do my best to show how grateful I am for information. It's not my job to fix other broken people when I'm only now starting to come out of such disrepair.... Still Im always gonna try as is my nature.

 

[Stargazer]

I have often used the word "petulant" in reference to my husband's behavior.

The eating like a pig--O. M. G. It's mortifying to me. That is why I don't go out to dinner w him. One time we were at a nice restaurant in Center City Philadelphia- not only does he "attack" food as if he hasn't eaten in 6mos - he eats loudly. Lots of obnoxious sounds. It makes me furious and I have the urge to punch him. At the said restaurant- he proceeded to drink his salad dressing out of the bowl. Under my breath, I said "put the fucking bowl down. Evertone is looking at us. You're embarrassing me. " His response- " I don't give a fuck" And he really doesnt give a fuck what anyone thinks.

Asbergers is a very self-centered, selfish condition. He definately makes me feel dis-respected and uncared about.

He has a genius IQ. 171. He is an unbelievably gifted long-range weather forecaster. He has 2 weather pages/websites with 3,400 followers. Tv meteorologists call my home to consult w him.

He's very arrogant about his talent. He is also an unbelievable chess player.

He's a decorated combat veteran w 6 medals including a combat action badge.

But...has zero common sense. And as I mentioned is self-centered. He is very critical of me.

But- he also defends me to the death. He gets extremely upset if Im crying. He talks about me to others as if I'm the end all.

He's very much like Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory. Im very much like Penny.

Morningglory- the key for me to handle my husband is focusing on his good points. I do all the work -cleaning, cooking etc. He's also extremely sloppy. Which of course is maddening after you kill yourself keeping the house nice.

I have times when I completely lose my shit and feel like I can't take him anymore. We've been together a long time. But- try to find something positive about your dad. And don't take his stuff personally. Or at least try not to. Trust me- I understand how difficult that is.

Underneath all of his stuff - Im sure he loves you more deeply than you realize. Im sure he knows his ways are not easy to deal with.

Feel free to PM me. Or post any specific stuff you want to discuss.

It requires extreme patience and compassion to deal w Asbergers.

 

[Morninggloryseed]

I appreciate and will take you up soon on a PM. Heh, I'd really love to have my mom and you talk. I'm fairly disconnected at this point and am just looking how to best support her... She has to live with him.....or still chooses too.

I know my father's mind well but I can't help him. They have a therapy appt soon with my counselor but I am not sure Elaine is equipped to handle this either. I just gotta read more...normal psychology issues I'm pretty good with but this abnormal psychology is above my pay grade...and it seems like the "do it yourself" information is...not something Im figuring out with google.

I appreciate the offer of a pm. Ttysoon

 

[Stargazer]

No problem. Anytime.

I actually wouldn't mind talking to your mom. As I dont know anyone else married to someone w Asbergers. My husband I guess is in the mild to moderate. But it is challenging. And often feels thankless.

But... Then he turns around and says or demonstrates how much my compassion and kindness means ti him. Take care MGS.